Recently I met a very shy, awkward otaku girl, who has very pretty blonde hair and a decent body (slim, perky breasts, nice firm little booty, lovely hands and legs), but has buck teeth that resemble that of Nosferatu and Coke-bottle glasses that are somethin' else. My friends shuddered when they first saw her, and her friends talk of her being "sadly a good bit awkward". However, something about her brings about a feeling in me that is quite... bizarre. Not a crush, not a love, not a lust... but, you know, something that causes INXS'"I Need You Tonight" to play in my head. I don't know what it is, because I usually am attracted to (relatively) "sexy" women/pretty boys.
Let me put it this way: have you ever felt attraction to a person because you find their awkwardness and shyness charming, and just feel... "Wow, they look like they need some lovin'."?
I kinda feel bad because it feels superficial, so gimme some advice before I go too far. Cuz there's somethin' about this geek... that makes me sweat.
Also, it made me happy when I noticed that she reacted very happily to my flirting with her.
>>1
Yes, I know what you mean. It's that peculiar sort of attraction where I can't successfully masturbate while thinking of them.
Honestly, I feel this way fairly often, actually.
It's like, I can look at someone who fits the normal standards of "sexy" and in my mind I realize that they're attractive, but I find that I tend to be attracted to the people who are kind of like you described her as.
>>3
But I just did...
I dunno, it's like, I kinda get off on the idea of giving affection to a girl that almost certainly doesn't get very much, especially considering I'm not too bad a looker (I'm no Adonis, but, I'm not your average otaku) and I am pretty good at attracting women.
>>1
I had that for a girl of a similar type, except you take out "some lovin" and just put plain "love" there instead.
I just wanted to make her feel like life couldn't be any better, everyday for the rest of her life. Such grand plans, and all came to nothing. Fucking fear of happiness.
Looks like OP is discovering a new form of love. Maybe a more 'true' one. Heck, it is altruist after all.
Good luck at your attempts to rationalize your feelings because of the social pressure you might feel... hehe.
I've had those same feelings once quite a long time ago. She was a typical awkward geek, skinny, glasses, odd fashion sense, interested in science, and would talk about scientific notions in every day conversation, and very sharp. Her interests changed quite rapidly though, I was always learning something new about her and whatever her current obsession was. She had a wicked and slightly twisted sense of humour. Just thinking about this makes me smile and feel the same way I did back then.
well, except for me it wasn't superficial or anything. I think it was deeper than that. The strongest kind of empathy and a more pure sort of love. I felt like I want to make them happy even at my own expense and to never hurt her. Not to mention I really wanted to do her as well.
OP if you think your feelings could be genuine rather than just superficial, I would urge you to go for it, love (in its many forms) isn't something you want to miss out on.