Ok, so there's this girl I've known for about 3 years or so. She's a senior in high school and I am a freshman in college. I've only had one girlfriend before so I am not that experienced with relationships or dealing with people.
Anyway, I really like her. I've always liked her. But she moved to another school about three years ago so our friendship was reduced to IM, phone calls and hanging out rarely. I think I am not THAT GUY FRIEND, I don't think I am in the friend-zone. She's been dating a guy for a year or so. But in the last 6 months or so he's been distant to her, tells her she annoys him, yadda yadda yadda. They actually don't talk very often but are still dating. Last week I gathered enough courage to give her a letter which just said that I liked her. She said she liked me back. She wanted to talk to her boyfriend about their relationship because she can't deal with him anymore. She's gonna make up her mind. This wasn't caused by my confession. She was gonna talk to him anyway. They break up.
So today she calls me, acting all weird and says she wanted to hang out with me. I get the message. I tell her that I don't want to be the rebound guy and that I understand that she is gonna need some time to get over him, she says she does need some time but that she'd like to spend time with me, nothing physical. I'm very happy. I don't know if I did the right thing by telling her. I feel terrible sometimes because I think it was low since she was taken, event though her relationship was about to collapse.
So, did I do wrong?
Also, do drugs. (Yes, I know I'll get "Stop doing drugs" responses). Mostly weed, shrooms, acid, salvia and other things, not that often. I wouldn't try any hard drugs or anything that would fuck me up badly. Should I tell her before or after I ask her out? And I have a bigger problem. I'm gonna go to the doctor about it but I've never consciously ejaculated, I've never had an orgasm. I've had night emissions and all. I don't know if I am infertile. Which saddens me and scares me. When and how should I tell her this? I'd hate to give her up, I've always liked her and I've been waiting for this chance with her for a while. But also, I wouldn't want her to be with someone who was defective or lie to her. Help. :\
You probably don't have to tell her explicitely that you do drugs, except if you already talked about that and she said she was strongly opposed. If not, you could bring the subject occasionally in a light manner. But especially if it's something casual for you, don't make it sound too important, like it's something crucial for you. And if she seems scared or opposed, consider dropping it. If she's okay... well, do what you think is right.
For the ejaculation problem, go see a doctor. It doesn't look like you'll be doing stuff with her too soon, so you have some time to get things right before you get the chance.
But more seriously - don't lie. If a subject comes up, be frank and ready to discuss opinions openly. It's the only way to build a sane relationship with someone.
Thanks.
> I've never consciously ejaculated, I've never had an orgasm
Even after whacking off? See a doctor.
Also, so what if you're infertile? Some women would be delighted not to have to worry about accidental pregnancy.
I think she should have the right to know that you do drugs...probably not your, um, ejaculation problem///........
You dont want to scare her about your personal problems, but you should let her know that you are going to stop doing drugs, that way she can feel that you are going to need her support, and therefore you guys can havae more time together =]
>>4
Thanks. I am gonna see about it. I'd hate to be infertile. I want to have children.
>>5
I don't plan on quitting. I'm no addict. I've been clean for a month now. I don't do it to solve problems. I just like it. I don't need support. I can stop anytime. But I think she'd have a hard time understanding it.
I will tell her this eventually. I just don't know when or how. I don't want to be like "Oh hey, BY THE WAY I..."
Also, since she's in high school I'm afraid that I'll be at a different pace (?) than her. If that makes any sense. I'm confused.
>I don't plan on quitting.
You need to grow up then.
http://www.cannabis-med.org/english/faq/04-fertility_male.htm
related. sex hormones, sperm etc.
>>8 What I meant to say is, if you already have a problem with your man bits, smoking weed isn't going to help it.