Help Me Bridge The Gap Between Our Hearts (12)

1 Name: The Desperate One : 2008-07-11 00:47 ID:AiWvPh2E

Ok so here is the deal. I am a 20 year old male and have never had a girlfriend. Yesterday I finally got the girl I like to go out for dinner and a movie with me. Things went surprisingly well and by the end of the movie I finally managed to ask her to go out with me. She told me that I was sweet but she wasn’t looking for a long distance relationship. She said that she had tried that before with someone who lived 1 hour away and that he almost never called and she rarely saw him. She told me that I wasn’t being rejected and that she would like to do this again some time. She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and we both went home. I told her if she ever moved back that I would still be here and this seemed to make her smile.

It seems from my point of view that the biggest problem is distance as she is going to be moving 2.5 hours away. The thing is I don’t have any problem with staying in contact or driving the two hours but I don’t know how to get her to see that. Any advice on this situation would be appreciated.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-11 01:18 ID:iUgi2m2h

>>1
For now keep doing stuff like this with her. When she gets there, keep calling her as usual so you both don't lose contact, then offer to drive the 2 hours to spend an afternoon with her. There, you might try again and tell her that you would have no problem doing this more often...

3 Name: The Desperate One : 2008-07-11 05:38 ID:AiWvPh2E

Thanks that sounds like good advice. At most I have another 2 or 3 weeks before she moves. What kind of things do people do on dates other than go to dinner and a movie? I don’t want to put to much pressure on her or make her feel uncomfortable.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-11 06:48 ID:Du9I9YdX

There's alot. If you have doubts on what to do for a weekend, ask her. Ask her what she wants to do, where she wants to go, when she wants to go/do it. Once you've learned what her likes and dislikes, you can try to surprise her.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-11 16:17 ID:Cp8u8S91

I could say i'm in stable relationship with my girl, despite the fact that we both currently live like on the other sides of the world. She's okay with it, since i promised i marry her and let her move to live with me here where i am next year. As for keeping contact; i try to call her everyday, but given the current situation of life i'm in, i'm not able to do that as often i would like to.
I know for most people i might sound crazy for having gf so far away i can't see her daily, or even weekly ;)

The point behind me telling all this is that if you two come along well, i see no problem with having only that sort of distance between you. It might be difficult to convince her that it's not a problem for you, but you could try to call her regularly and see if that would make her believe that you're serious.

And what to do on date? When we got together it was really easy for us to do something, as i was just a tourist on a whole new continent for me. Just walking around and seeing many new things with her was awesome. But as you seem to live in same city, i think this is kinda out of option.
But i'd say that just walking around will eventually get you somewhere. I mean just think about place to start on your date, like marketplace or something "unusual" and i'm sure that from there it's easy to go from place to place.

Just my two cents, and some of my own experience here. But i really think that when you really love someone, and when someone really loves you, you need nothing to to besides be together...

6 Name: Zombie Puppy : 2008-07-11 17:29 ID:uYl9vWQx

Don't mean to burst your bubble, but she probably isn't interested in you; except for a friend.

Its usually the male figures in a relationship that "can't" do long term relationships. Mainly due to the need for direct physical contact (honesty hurts, sorry). However, woman pride themselves on being able to maintain a "emotional" relationship, so they are less likely to turn a long distance relationship down.

She is most likely just keeping you there for a pillow to fall back on. She probably has another person she's more interested in and is keeping you on recall in case that person can't be with her. That or she's just uniterested.

Woman don't like putting people down and making them feel bad, so in turn, we accidentally lead them on.

Sorry no offense. But I give my honest opinion and views. I'm not going to sugar coat things. You came with a question, I supplied and answer.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-11 20:50 ID:Heaven

>>6
Funny thing is in most (i can't say all because one of them is on your side) ldr I have know about (usually involving friends), the breakup comes from the girl. The thing is girls often need more cuddling than guys; and if you have masturbation for your immediate sexual urges, there's nothing that can replace a hug.

8 Name: The Desperate One : 2008-07-16 22:23 ID:AiWvPh2E

This will probably sound stupid but what are some good conversation starters or reasons to call. Would a girl find it weird if a guy she isn’t dating called just to see how she is doing?

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-16 22:44 ID:Heaven

>>8
Well, probably not. Though that might leave her wondering. Not that it's a bad thing, correct me if I'm wrong.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-16 23:27 ID:0pXwG743

Hmmm... well the calling thing, I can't help you with since one of my problems with women is that I don't bother calling them at all unless I have a reason too.

( ;^_^) I'm not much of a phone person.

>>6 might be right and that might have been her nice way of turning you down. Of course, we don't know that for sure yet since she told you she would like to see you again.

First, maybe it would be better if you just dated her for a while, with no relationship said. Casual dating can actually be better since there is no really any commitment or seriousness and it's all about having a fun day.

I can help you with date ideas if you want. I just need some info about where you live, etc.

11 Name: The Desperate One : 2008-07-17 03:49 ID:AiWvPh2E

>>10
I defiantly agree about the casual dating first. It would be weird to jump straight into a serious relationship. We both live in Maryland, she is going to Salisbury and I am in Columbia.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-17 23:41 ID:zz94z1AO

lol I should have been more clear. I'm in L.A. so I dont know how it is over there. Is like a small town or a city?

But lemme think...

>>5 had a good idea, like a marketplace or a festival or something unusual. Maybe a play or a place relating to something she's really into. A concert is a good idea too! Any bands or tours happening soon?

Definitley don't listen to >>4 though, asking her what she'd like to do defeats the whole purpose of going out cuz YOUR ASKING HER.

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