Haargh. I'm head over heels for the guy and I want a loving, meaningful relationship with him more than I want anything else. We're great friends and at times it seems the feelings are mutual. I try to drop hints, ("Thanks for making me a part of your day so often. Our time together is always the highlight of my week...") and I think he does, too ("I like your shirt/earrings/hair" or "I had a really great time tonight, thanks for coming out..."), but I think we're both holding back because we're such good friends. A physical relationship as lovers could jeopardize the mental relationship we have now as friends. So until I'm absolutely positive that he's interested in taking our relationship farther, I just can't pleasure myself to thoughts of him. If I knew he felt the same, it wouldn't be a problem. 'Til then, I guess I'll just keep stimulating myself to the thought of being raped by tentacles. I feel uncomfortable doing it to any real person and pretty much only masturbate while fantasizing about being ravaged by a monster or a machine or I masturbate to the thought of masturbating. Wow, I've never "said" the word "masturbate" so many times at once. Ack.
A question: Do you "wank" it more often to porn or to people you know?