At work I have a lover, we have known each other since primary school, have been in love multiple times, have gone out, broke up, then again and again, now we just really know each other and make love sometimes
Also, we keep it in secret.
Now, there's this other woman, who I think is intelligent and kind. Nothing more. She likes to chat me up, we are at the beginning of a developing friendship or so I thought.
So a few days ago she left her key to her room in the door. I noticed it when going home, called her, she said she is happy it's not lost and to give it to her tomorrow.
All right, so I go to work, give her the key, and she hugs me in the middle of the foyer. It would have been nothing, but looking above her shoulder I noticed my secret lover watching us with a very sad expression on her face.
Now she thinks I am cheating on her. In fact I did many times, but I asked her before and she did the same. But this time she is really hurt, because she told me she feels that she is dethroned from being the First and Most important to me. This is nonsense, but she doesn't believe me?
What does this mean? Why is she so jealous all of a sudden and how do I convince her nothing happened?
If you've been in a similar situation or felt very jealous suddenly what did you feel? What could be in her head?
Do you want to show her she's the first and most important person to you? Maybe you should consider dating your lover, y'know exclusively and not as some secret casual affair.
Have a fresh start, date as if you never dated her before, ask her out on a date to some restaurant you both haven't been to, get to know her again. Be serious about it, no cheating, no keeping it secret, no lies, do all the sappy romantic stuff like picnics, flowers, handholding, walks on the beach, dinners at restaurants just be a regular couple.
Maybe it's time to find out how deep the bond between you and your secret lover is.
>>2
I have dated her, we got along really well.
I want kids and she doesn't; and so we decided to remain secret lovers while (or even after) we each find someone else.
But it looks like she is in love with me?
Also she could never answer me as to WHY she doesn't want children, but anyway too much happened between us already for a fresh start and I think it would be fruitless to go further in the relationship, again
You're both retarded.
ah the children thing, that is one of the many things that break up couples and it's pretty sad. Being someone who doesn't want kids (i never wanted Jesus, he was an accident) i feel for her because finding someone who doesn't want kids is very hard to find and many times looked down upon.
I have the answer, but it involves destruction and mayhem.
God Bless
Yeah, you should be allowed to have children, and she should be allowed not to have children. But that's something you and a life partner have to be in agreement on for it to work. It's quite a shame, but that's the way life can be.
Alright, so this is a different topic but what could possibly a reason for a woman not to want children?
It's probably something shameful or embarassing if she can't tell me, because otherwise we can talk about ANYTHING
Some girls just don't want kids. It doesn't have to be anything "shameful or embarassing".
Kids are problematic, you have to feed them, clean them, you have to love them. And they are expensive. And for a professional woman they do quite a lot of damage on a career. Statistically speaking business women go a lot further when they remain without kids. You should want to have kids, not have kids to conform to the norm. The fact that she is not having kids that she doesn't want is commendable.
any updates?
>>9 Maybe she cannot have children like she's infertile or has genes she doesn't want to pass on. Maybe she doesn't think she would be a good mother or doesn't like kids, doesn't want kids with you, scared of giving birth, doesn't want to become a housewife or something like that, or is more career orientated.
Ask her if, hypothetically of course, she would adopt children might narrow down the reasons.
How old are you two? sometimes it happens that when a woman gets to a certain age she realises she would like children afterall, the strength of hormones is really amazing sometimes, I've heard of stories of women literally overnight changing their minds on the whole baby/no baby issue. At the same time some women will never change their minds and there's nothing you can do about that.
it's probably something simple like she doesn't want to have kids but let me ask you something if she loves you so much why does she want you two to be a secret. she has no right to get jealous or think that she's the most important if she doesn't want to be out in the open about being with you