Hey there 4ch, I have been lurking for a pretty long time and observing other people's stories now it's time to unveil my own.
I am a 18 year old male. I am a pseudo-otaku, I enjoy Anime much like a lot. Just, I don't go as far as most otakus. I live an average life, average job that's ending pretty soon. I live up north in Maine. I had a few girlfriends but nothing too serious. I have no car, no license, no long distance only local shit and no cellphone. I'm basically at square 1? eh?
In July, I went to a small anime convention that's in Maine. I met a incredible girl there. She is good looking and has a very nice personality. We conversed but we stuck as friends.
I gotten her name and added her on facebook, we occasionally went back and forth with messages and I called her on the phone a few times.
I want to capture her heart. Somehow. I think I have stalled too long, I am very nervous. I don't want to screw it up. I want to be close, not creepy. Argh.
More Info as needed. What should I do?!
Does she live within 50 miles of where you currently live or are planning on living in the near future?
You definitely need to express your affection to her else nothing will ever happen. You need to put effort into it to get something out.
First off, move in, but don't move in too quickly. You don't want to come off a suddenly creepy, but simultaneously you don't want to be standoffish. The worst thing most guys do is think that the "anime style" standoffish style makes you cool, whereas the opposite (being cool, confident, and out there) is much more powerful.
What you wanna do first is boost your own self-image. Don't change yourself fundamentally, but try to be the best person you can be- wellcultured.com is a good place to learn a lot of this kind of stuff. Improve your dress, improve your body, get some experience conversing and doing other things- just try to refine yourself. If you make small changes, she may be pleasantly surprised.
When you're boosted up so far as you can, try to do something definitive with her. Ask her out on a date- have a time, place, and idea, don't just waffle. Don't just do a fucking boring dinner-and-a-movie thing- ask her out on a date to an aquarium or a play or something- something cultured. Be confident. Make it clear. You may not have a car- if you don't, get a buddy to take you there and don't complain about it.
Never overextend your welcome, EVER. This is one of the biggest flaws guys have in situations like this. In and out with a bang. Don't just casually waffle around her, be strong.
Again, improve yourself before anything else. I keep saying this because it works in a very direct way- better yourself, better your chances. Work hard, play hard, and good luck.
Thank you everyone, at least I am glad to know there are still people on the Internet who are not jerks.
>>5
Thanks a lot. I want to at least get a cellphone to call her and so she is at reach with me. I need a tracphone at least, one of those small non-contract phones. The only flaw is that if I don't recharge my minutes after a certain period, my number changes but I doubt I would if I keep a steady money-flow.
About the date advise, you're right, I would of done a boring dinner and a movie. Bah, I will check around for some places to go on dates so far I am at nothing.
Also, I should sleep better and I drink way too much soda, I need to be alert and out there if I were to go on a date. Changing sleep patterns is hard, but I will do my best, I am doing this for her as well as me. Soda? All I need to do is drink less and less of it everyday.
Dinners can be fine. You can talk about anime. Movies are good only if there's something good you'd both actually enjoy, not see just for the sake of eachother.
I think you should just tell her that you'd like to go on a date. Explain that you understand it's been some time and it can be something casual to get to know one another. (But, I haven't had much luck with dates so maybe you shouldn't listen to me.)
>>5 is right. Never overextend your welcome.
Your advice is not horrible, it works better than I ever thought. I will look into everything. It's kind of weird going to sleep at 1:00 AM
Good Morning 4ch, or should I say good afternoon? I failed sleeping at 1 am and it delayed till 2:30 am. I woke up 5 hours ago. I asked a friend that is a girl about some advice, she said I shouldn't randomly call her and try to find another mean of talking to her. However, I do not think there is another way. I must attack!! I must!!_|¯|O
For other news, I get a cellphone tomorrow, it's one of those ones that don't require service since I lack a state ID otherwise. _|¯|O
What should I say when I do call her? "Oh sorry about the lack of talking or otherwise."? or should I approach it slowly? I really honestly do not know.
Go ahead and call her. Say Hi, say who it is, the guy you met at the anime convension, say it's been a while but, if it's ok with her, you'd like to get together and maybe do something.
I did that to a girl out of the blue I hadn't seen in months. She agreed, (but it never worked out for different reasons lol).
>>10
Good idea, I'll try that soon. Yet, I don't have a ride anywhere anymore... _|¯|O
News on the Caffeine and Sleep: It is progressing nicely. I am 2 days without caffeine and I sleep better, who would of thought caffeine fucked me up?
I have a question for you all... If I can't see myself arriving to the date, it's it any good to just general talk on the phone? I mean, I need to find ways to get my license soon... Bah, too much to think about. I am exhausted.. Just as planned. I am heading to bed soon. Thanks a lot! I will update every few days.
>>11
Oh dear my ID changed, so I will make a tripcode.
> it's it any good to just general talk on the phone?
Yea, I think casually talking on the phone is fine. Just don't do it all the time and pester her. But, this is obvious.
UPDATE!!!
A few things, It's day 5 of 9 for the caffeine drop. I am doing very nicely. I am looking into cellphones and deals I could look at but I dunno where to start.
After work, I went on facebook and I recieved this on an application called Honesty Box. Where people can be honest about me anonymously... It read "you are one hot mother fucker. who needs a pretty lady liike me to come around and give you a good time."
IS THIS HER? I bet not, since we barely talk but you may never know. I will look into it. It might be a joke, I get that a lot. Then again, I did some friend describe thing, I complimented her smile and stuff. I wanna believe :o(
Just a boring update. I have no way of calling her still, bleh... Hopefully, this Wednesday to Thursday, I will get a cellphone and some deal.
See you soon.
>>13
I may have to do casual talk to keep the friendship flowing then onto some dates or something. I need a ride _|¯|O
I am dumb, it was on July 10.... Still mihgt of been her, but I doubt it :(
I'm calling her right now. I am shaking so much and breathing heavily. I thought I was gonna take this chill. Fuckwdfjsdfzsewaqzxyuhv I am going to do casual talk and ake her notice me. I donbt have a ride fuck, this is hard. veyr hard :(
Well,... wish you good luck ^_^
go go go! Tell us what happened ^^
Ok... I called her.... but I got her voicemail... both trys... I used a free VOIP program so it probably came up as unknown number and such. Bah I failed.... That's what I feel. Is there a better way to talk to her? E-mail? Something? I am confused and probably will be.
I worked a lot at my job, so I am saving up for a cellphone but I may get Skype Unlimited credits or something.
Bah, I am tired. and I also think I got the tripcode wrong. I am a mess.
Also, I told her friend I had a crush on her, what's your opinion? Was that a bad idea or a good idea? I did it in an impulse...
1) Call again.
2) If not message on FB and say you tried to call to give her you cell number (desperate? perhaps - who cares).
Hopefully she's still interested in speaking to you. Talking on the phone is the only ways to work out if you have conversation with on other. It's kind of important for LD realtionship I guess. Think of the brigh side, you've already started it and you have common interests: anime.
Not keen on telling her friend that you like her. Could work either way but personally she should have heard it from you. After all they are your feeling directed at her. If you can't convey them eventually then nothing will ever happen.
Anyway I don't wanna keep banging on like some old git. Good luck!
I admit defeat. I give up. There is nothing I can possibly do to change myself or otherwise make myself more accessible. She's ignoring me, I bet. It's been way too long and I took everything too slow. I would of had a chance a few months back but since it's October already, I give up. Any comments? suggestions? If there is a path I could choose that would catch her attention, then by all means... tell me. I love his girl but I am starting to feel hopeless... I'm not desperate, I just know when to throw in the towel.
>>21
"his girl" should be "this girl"
bah...
Well you are in somewhat similar situation with me.
Find a way to communicate with her.
Don't push it too hard, take it slowly, simply give a comment to her FB routinely if possible or chat with her. Even a "good night" is enough if you have nothing to say, the focus is to maintain connection. (but not in pestering way)
If you really do care about here, she will notice it soon.
I am not telling it is really "soon", it can be days,weeks,even years.
The thing is whether you really like her or not. Persistency is the name of the game.
You also have the option to forget her and go on with you life , though. The choice is yours.
you are not in an easy situation, and you have trouble getting into contact. I think the only realistic solution to your problem, short of giving up, is to start contact via e-mail. Ask for news, and talk about common interests. If she ignores that, then tough luck, you just have to give up.
Just don't obsess about the phone, it's a bit too early for that.
4ch!!! GOOD NEWS! We started talking again and everything is better.
I'll put you onto the whip game. Nothign ever happened until Christmas when I got my phone. However, that didn't change anything. She doesn't like to talk on the phone and such. Which explain both voicemails.
In March, she logged onto aim spontaneously. We talked for about 5 hours and we talked like we knew each other for a long time. Again in July, as she and I were busy.
Finally, before the New Years, she logs in again and we both admit our feelings towards each other.
Wow. I don't know what to say. It has been an eventful year. Major progress and I can finally retire this thread.
Thank you so much for your kind words and input. I don't know, maybe they helped me shaped who I am today!
Thank Thank Thank you!
(My tripcode might be wrong since I made it in 2008 D:)
Also she says hi!
golly gee
Holy crap. Didn't read your thread until now OP, but I am happy for you and glad you came here to tie up loose ends.
> Also she says hi!
Wow at the significance of this.
Let me begin to tell you. The ending of this story was NOT a happy one.
We went out on our first date before new years. She was 4 hours late. She fucked up majorly.
Not to mention she is hard as fuck to communicate with. I gave up after the date because the next one would have been in 2012.
I am sorry that you guys wasted your efforts in trying to help me on her. However, I want to thank each and everyone of you.
Here's basically what happened: http://dethklan.blogspot.com/2010/11/legend-of-pantsu-part-3-final-fallout.html
And the moral of the story is: PENIS