Hey there 4ch, i've been an active reader but never have I posted any problems of my own, because i've had no problems before.
I've never really been in love before now. I figured I'd just go through life without needing anything like a girlfriend, because I never met anyone I was interested in.
It happened just this summer. I decided to do summer school in college since there was nothing else to do at home. In one of my classes there was this girl, lets call her "Rachael". When I first met Rachael, she was an A-Class bitch. In fact, I thought she would be the very last girl on the planet i'd ever set eyes on. Boy, was I ever wrong.
When I saw her in my class, I was like "Shit, here we go." and for a while it felt that way. I've always been sort of outgoing, so I talked to everyone in the class. One kid that was next to me was irritating, but everyone else was fun. It was about three weeks in summer school and I was in the school cafeteria when she asked if she could sit with me. I figured "meh, whatever, sure." And then I talked with her, and she seemed alright. Since we had class together and we were in the same dorm, we did work in the same place, and started to talk even more. It was strange. We had so many things in common! We liked the same animes, the same mangas, even the same style. She had a great sense of humor, and she was fun to be around. My opinion of Rachael changed; I felt like I found a great friend in summer school along with other kids I met.
As the summer went on, I began to notice small subtle things about Rachael. The way that she said "shit" over and over again when things got bad. Her harsh critiques on the weirdest things about me which somehow always made me laugh. Her laughter, which is the single most wonderful sound ever. Her mysterious wound which for some reason she never tells anyone about how she got it. How she is a master cosplayer, but only if its anime dudes. How her voice is incredible, yet she has terrible stage fright. Or when she would steal my stuffed animals. Or her strange need to pay back people even if its a borrowed dollar.
They were all very simple things; yet I found myself thinking about them daily. I'd stop by her room often just to talk. If I could find an excuse to see her, I would. If she needed a ride, or wanted to go somewhere, i'd do it just to spend more time with her.
The last day of summer school was hectic. I stayed up all night doing work and slept in. I woke up to her knocking on my door and she helped me clean my room, and I helped her move in with a friend for a week. I had forgotten to fill up gas, and I needed to stay over, so we went to a movie with a friend and then stayed in the same place. I slept on a mattress next to the bed, and I barely slept. I found myself peeking at her sleeping face and giggling a little.
We didn't live in the same dorms for the fall, but that didn't stop me from seeing her often. When I figured out my true feelings for her, I wanted to tell her, but I chickened out. But we went dancing together, which was fun. On one particularly great night I told her, but didn't really mean it. I said I like-liked her, which I figured I could stomp it out flat so that I wouldn't be overly obsessed with her. She didn't want a relationship and thought of me as still a friend. The next day I was destroyed. I couldn't focus on anything. The pain I felt was like nothing I had never felt before.
I went to visit her, and she seemed distant, like she really needed to think about something. She gave me devil horns on halloween, which was funny, and gave me one of her mangas to read. But still, I felt a huge distance between us.
That night, I went to go and visit her again. This time she let me in, and something about the atmosphere was strange. She went on about a game that I had played with friends, but she was rambling a bit, and seemed nervous. I just continued to talk to her, because I didn't want to do anything that would destroy our friendship. But at the same time, I have never felt so much about anyone so strongly before.
Now that we are out of school, I figured it out. Why I can recall all the great moments we had together. Why I think about her all day and night. Why I want to be more than just her friend. Why, when I held her hand for the very first time, that it felt more right than anything.
I love her. Such simple yet strong words. A girl that I hated before became a girl that I love more than anything. I want to show her how much I care for her. I want her to be mine. What do you guys suggest? How should I go about this?
Looks like you'll need to seduce her,...
You have made your interest plain. So now you need to seduce her until she can't resist you anymore and falls for you. Only then can you give it a go again and start a real relationship.
Heh, that's exactly what i've been thinking. I've been working out strenuously on my body, and it looks great. I'm going to learn how to dance properly and work on my art. plus i'll read more to give a better conversation.
I'll knock her off her feet.