I just finished starting a thread...when I realized there was also something else I wanted to tell...but I'll be brief for now.
There was a girl that I really liked in our senior year of high school, but she was also madly in love with her boyfriend...but later that guy broke up with her. We talked for months...but one day...the tragedy got too much and she gone suicidal. I had to comfort her over the phone for hours...and all she asked was for me to come over to her house.
I never did.
I have reasons why...and thoughts in my head wondering "what would of happened if I did go to her house?" If I get a response here...I'll explain why.
ok,
WHY?
Also, how is she now?
>>2
She'd pro'lly be D-E-D dead, of course she might not be dead on the same note (you don't know if you don't go into the house, amirite?). Of course, that's the loving troll inside me speaking.
Less trolling and more into realistic predictions: he's in love with her mother/father/friend/sibling and/or caused the ex to break up with her (for noble and/or less than noble reasons) and is feeling guilty for doing so.
she probably would've gone to you for comfort and you could have possibly ended up with her
wow...i was expecting 1 response...but i'm good with 3. First, the responses:
>>2: um...as of today...idk (have a guess later on)
>>3: if she was dead, I would know. however, I'm wondering how the "less trolling and more realistic" prediction was thought up...weird...
>>4: worse case...that would be true.
now...the story...
i went to a retreat one spring on my junior year of high school. it was fun...though the main reason why i went was to hook up with a girl one year younger than me (I was a creep to her to this end...so I never ended up with her). However, if there was anything else memorable about that trip...there was a girl who apparently knew me.
One day, I sat alone on a couch while everyone was chatting...when this girl (let's call her Sally) sat next to me and tried to make a conversation. Of course, I said hi back and she just sat next to me...as if she knew me. She asked me then "do you play music?" I told her I PLAYED the violin, and she got excited...saying that she plays it too. She then asked if I played sports, and I said I was on the track team...but took a break. Instantly, she blurted out that she knew me from her boyfriend. After that, phone number...constant convos...and...that's it...for now.
Ok...fast forward to September during my senior year. I already lost two of my crushes in my life, but started to get a new chance with another girl. However, that quest would not be be full-fought if not for another girl interfering. Who might this girl may be...yea...her.
A couple of days ago, Sally and I hung out for a long time...either at McDonalds, at my house, or around the city like little kids. To me, she wasn't a "hot" girl, but someone who likes to talk and felt that I was a cool guy. On a certain friday, a girl friend and I went to a school dance together. We danced...but it felt weird because she was taller than me. She would eventually ditch me...but I was ok with that; danced with other random girls anyways. Then suddenly, I saw Sally dancing in the middle of the dance floor with another man...not her boyfriend. I was confused...I thought she told me they were luvey-duvey or some s***. Anyways...I didn't care. When the song was over, I came over to her and asked for her to dance. We danced for a while...and I admit she and I both got a little "close" (if you know what I mean)...but it was by accident (i f***ing didn't know what a handjob was for crying out loud). But after a few songs...we saw her boyfriend dancing with another girl. I was going to shout out his name when Sally pulled me outside. "F***! Why is he here?" she said. I asked Sally what was the big deal...and she told me he broke up with her. For what reason i don't know, it just happened. He stared dating girls...and she was depressed (and I didn't know it). We eventually agreed to dance a couple more songs before she left early with her little brother. I was sad...I wanted to hang out with her so bad...it could of killed me.
Now...for the "regret"...
The sunday after the dance, my family and I went out to eat at a chinese restaurant. Midway into the meal, I get a phone call from Sally. When I picked up, I told her I was busy and promised her to call back. However, before I hung up...Sally said "I want to die."
I dropped the phone for a moment...
When I picked it up...I went outside, and had to endure her crying for an hour...saying why she was so miserable about her life and why things didn't work out. When I asked her what happened, she said she saw pictures suddenly of her ex...and it made her want to cry...so much that she slit her wrist several times. At that point, all I could told was calm her down over the phone and tell Sally everything was ok. Of course though, she kept saying life was unfair and that her happiness was taken away from her the moment they broke up.
We kept talking even after my family and I left the restaurant to drop off my sister to her friend's house. It was at that time that Sally asked me over the phone "can you please come over and protect me?" I'll admit here too...I was a "goody goody" towards my parents at the time and felt that I couldn't just take the car and go to her house. But at the same time...I wanted to protect her badly. How badly...I didn't know at the time. All I knew was that she needed help and she reached out to me. Yet, when I told my parents to instead drive me over there and drop me off...they told me no. I tried to plead my case, but my parents just said "you're too young (f*** no) to be out this late" (9:30pm is f***ing late?!). I kept arguing with them while Sally was on the phone. Eventually, the conversation went to 11pm at my house, and I was getting tired. Sally pleaded one more time to have me over, but I just told her "my parents won't let me out" and we said our goodbyes. For a while, I felt so compelled to just run out of the house and actually RUN to her place (though i would had called her first where she lived). However, an hour later, I called the new girl that I had an interest in, and just basically talked about the issue I had and how much I wanted to see her. It felt like I wanted to tell this girl how much Sally would mean to me...but what that girl told me later on in life was that conversation was just me trying to portray my helpfulness through that experience...not about me trying to hook up with her.
A month later, Sally and I met two more times. The first was after she couldn't make it to a pool party and had to hang out with me for a short time before going home. The second was at my house again before Homecoming. I tried one more time to make a move towards her. I tried physically touching her...I tried being a little kid...I tried to say nice things to her...but no matter how I tried...Sally didn't respond intimately.
A year later, Sally and I met for the last time. We talked about our current college lives. I told her I went to liberal arts school to be with my current girlfriend, and never been more happy than before. Then, I noticed a ring on her left ring finger. "So...the rumors were true." Apparently, the school prom I didn't attend (my girlfriend didn't want to go) was very eventful. One of the main events was Sally finally making up with her ex...and her ex responding with a proposal. She immediately accepted...and moved to Colorado together to attend the same school. She came down to visit her folks...and was very excited to see me. We talked about fun things...like how we would mess around in the dorms, which was our fav cafe food, etc. All of a sudden, Sally asked me "do you think things would of changed if you did come over two Septembers ago?" I thought she would forget that...thinking her happiness was already in Colorado. I told Sally..."I think so. You were cute to me...and had a lot of excitement in your eyes." She was going to hug me...when I also mentioned "but I think you would still be grieving about your ex...I think that would of hurt our relationship if that ever happened." She recoiled and stood away. It was silent for a while...but she understood: I didn't have real feelings for her. Truthfully, if I did love her...I would try to call her everyday, find more information about her life and where she lived. She drove me back home (she picked me up) at the end of the day. I opened the car door and was about to close it when Sally said "I'll see you around." I smiled and said the same thing.
I never saw her again.
I tried calling her cell, leaving voice messages...nothing. Tried calling her home...her parents said they haven't heard from her in ages. It was weird and sad; weird that she didn't call her parents (very close to them), but also sad to not hear her voice. Even today, I still wondered whether I made the right decision to not go to her house when she was so suicidal.
But when I look at myself now...I have a loving girlfriend that I've been with for four years. I've always thought about her more than any other girl...and always felt compelled to talk to her first than anyone else. Why does it still bother me?
Rumors came up again, and they told that a probable fall-out between Sally and her fiance was eminent. Nothing after that...whether they broke up or finally got married.
I guess the only think I felt was a conflict inside me: was I going to be with Sally out of emotional impulse...or did I love her at the time? Let's just say, I "regretted" not going to her house...but while the memory is still in my mind...I'm moving on with the love of my life.