My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and a half, and we haven't slept together yet. We snuggle, spoon, make-out, I finger and rub her, and I get the occasional handjob. I'm her first real boyfriend, the guys before she had never even kissed. I don't want to push her but I'm 18 and sexually frustrated. She says she is scared of taking the next step, and that she is nervous, I mean I know she is nervous, but I am really tired of waiting. Anyone have any advice at all, I'm slowly going insane.
how old is she?
I AM THE PEDOBEAR WHO IS LURKING IN THE CLOSET :3
Try to make her understand that sex matters a lot and its normal to have sex and all and nothing to be afraid of. besides you have been together for so long, ask her why isnt she feeling herself comfortable around you enough to have sex?
good luck
She is 17
Well, let's put it like this: you're not the one who's going to get penetrated (at least not at the beginning ^_^)
It's normal that she's nervous, and probably a bit afraid that it's going to hurt, or that it won't be "perfect", etc. Just continue being intimate so that she's more and more comfortable being physically close to you. You say that you already fingered her, so you're getting there.
Don't put too much pressure on her, if she's not confident about you she'll take even longer to do it. It could also help to let her have the initiative during the penetration, if that's indeed what's worrying her. Speak about it.
She was raised Roman Catholic, and she says that she is very nervous about it.
And?... She could be buddhist, hindu, sunni, shia, whatever, it wouldn't change a thing. Unless of course she is against sex before marriage. But if that was the case, you would already have mentioned it, wouldn't you?
Lol that is very true, but I dont know how I go about approaching the issue.
Looks to me like you already approached the issue, and she told you she's not ready. So for the moment be patient, continue to be intimate with her, keep undressing her more and more, and at some point you'll both be ready (have some condoms around just in case).
And as regards to you being sexually frustrated, I feel for you but she's not your sexual security valve, so in the meantime help yourself, like you have always done until now ^_^
Thank you for the advice, I have been carrying a condom around just in case, a couple weeks ago we were at her house alone and things got very heated, but nothing came of it, and that night on the phone she told me she was thinking us becoming physical, and she has been getting more daring, so I think we might be getting close.
just bring up with her. you and her should be comfortable enough to discuss the issue. of course you can encourage her ;)
Well I try to bring it up but she is embarrassed by the subject, she says that she want to wit me but she just isn't ready at the moment, but the funny thing is that she is really active when we fool around but the second I bring up the subject she says it "kills the mood". Please help me.
She thinks of sex maybe as a painful act. Maybe she doesn't think of it as pleasurable. I am almost certain she has never masturbated or had an orgasm.
Once, suggest that, instead of having sex, and be very clear, say how about I help you to orgasm by masturbation, not like that, but say it as well as you can. Read up about it and learn what to do beforehand. Be gentle, slow, build it up. She might complain she feels like shes going to pee, she might not, but comfort her and assure her that's part of it. After she's had an orgasm and experienced the pleasure of sex, there's no way she could not want to have sex for real.
Ive given her many orgasms, and I know, the scratch and bite marks on my neck have told me so, and so has she, we have gotten very physical with each other just we haven't given each other oral and we haven't had sex.
Update:
Yesterday my girlfriend and I were in here room last night and things began to get heated, we were sitting on her bed and making out, and I pushed her back onto her bed and pounced on her, and right before things went any further her mom called us up cause I had to go home. I think we might be getting closer, wish me luck 4-ch.