I Just (8)

1 Name: Ziggy Zigdust : 2009-03-23 23:30 ID:nvrtN6j3

Okay, guys. I'm 18, I just transfered to a new college, not bad looking at all, and I have never kissed a girl. Until last Tuesday. There's this girl I met in a club who is extremely beautiful, we hung out a few times and despite her saying I should go out with one of her friends, I began to like her. Last Tuesday we hung out in my room with two other friends. We watched a movie, had fun. The two other guys left, and we lay in my bed in the dark, just talking. Earlier that night she had trouble with a guy she liked, and ran out of the room, but I ran after her to cheer her up. She was asking me what I wanted my first kiss to be like, and halfway through telling her, she kissed me. Kissed back, and we made out for a bit before I brought her back to her dorm. The following days we've been texting back and forth and hanging out a lot.

We've kissed a few times, and she keeps asking if I really like her, to which I keep answering yes. We kissed last night, but I felt like there was a missing spark.

I found out later that night that she's considering dating that asshole that I previously mentioned and risking her health. Her friend also said that he got the girl to promise that if it doesn't work with the guy, she'll go to me. Here's the thing, though: I'm not waiting. I've lived life stepped on by women and I refuse to allow it to happen this time.

I have decided that while I do like her, I can't zero-in on her. I'm sure most will agree, but what do I do around her as I'm not normally spectacular around girls and it takes forever to find a genuinely nice one like her (as much problems as we're having) that I'm really interested in and comfortable around?

I don't know, I mostly just needed a place to vent my issue and maybe a few could give their own input on the situation.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-24 00:10 ID:3r+2C6bg

Occupy the terrain. Do stuff with her. Keep her busy spending good times with you. That should pay off to your advantage.

You look interested by the girl, get yourself together and get the girl. No need to wait anything.

Also, don't trust middlemen, just do what you need to do by yourself. That promise your friend mentioned is quite ludicrious.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-24 00:34 ID:UPJhaecx

First of all, op, if I knew you in real life I would by you a beer for this line right here: >Here's the thing, though: I'm not waiting

That's a very smart and mature decision, and I think you need to sit down and tell her that. You don't need to be mean about it, of course, but just tell her that you understand if she likes both you and him, but that you have your own life going on and that if it looks like she isn't going to chose you she needs to tell you so you can move on. You said you are 18 and I assume she is around that age too and both of you are too old to be playing petty I-like-you-but-I-like-him too mind games. Don't be afraid about hurting her feelings or making her mad. Most likely the exact opposite will happen and she like you more because you will be demonstrating to her that you are mature and can take care of yourself.

And if it doesn't work out, that doesn't mean it has to be the end of your relationship period. You said that you like her and like being around her, so why not stay friends? Some guys don't like to do that but personally I don't understand why not, since I wouldn't date someone I wouldn't be friends with. Also, that way you can ask her what you did wrong and get tips on how to improve and get help with future relationships.

4 Name: Ziggy Zigdust : 2009-03-24 13:39 ID:gyzeRF2W

Thanks guys. I may not be the most "forceful" guy or whathave you, and I don't even seem confident at first glance, but I'm not someone to be played with.

3's right, I left high school almost a full year ago and I was sure I left the drama that is attached to it behind as well.

5 Name: Ziggy Zigdust : 2009-03-25 03:50 ID:gyzeRF2W

Well guys, it's over for now. Today around 7:30ish she told me that she was attracted to me, but would rather be friends. I don't mind being friends, you know, as I really valued our friendship, it's just at the time I wanted it to be something more.

Little does she know my bro who #2 called the middleman (who she talks to about everything and wanted her to date me), contacted me about ten minutes beforehand, warning me that she chose the asshole over me, giving me a more detailed account than she did. So my conclusion was this: I like her as a friend and a relationship wasn't going to work out because she couldn't even tell me flat out that she choose the other guy (I'm aware she didn't want to "hurt me"), as our friendship was built on nothing but honesty and complete openness. Oh well, her loss. I still lover her and she's a great gal, but hey, not the one for me it appears. Besides, when I got the news I didn't even feel that down.

Who knows, maybe shit will go down in the future and she'll come running to me, but hey these feelings I have for her could go away in days for all I know. If she does, I can't really honestly answer I could or wouldn't take her, as it'll depend on a hundred of factors. Hey, it may even depend on her mood.

So, thanks guys.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-25 04:37 ID:QePrj8Ei

Sounds like you've got the right idea. Getting obsessive or engaging in a pissing contest with the other guy won't work at all, I found out the hard way.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-25 20:49 ID:Br2AHjyC

>>5

That's the right attitude, op. There are plenty other nice girls you can get to know, no need to get hung up on a single one.

8 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-03-25 21:14 ID:Zn3MzPAJ

Let her know that she needs to appreciate you. Let her know that if she goes back out with the other shit head, that she cant come back to you. Let her know that she cant screw with you like that.

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