Hello everyone,
For a couple of weeks I have been talking to this person online and I thought this person is nice. We started talking after I helped the person on how to add files into this one software.
So we talked and talked everytime we're both online on MSN. We traded each other pictures to give each other a sense of how we both look like. To my mistake, I gave my real one but the person I've been talking with, didn't. She gave me of a cute Japanese Idol singer from Hello! Project. Now, she told me that picture was her and I assume she was either shy or didn't want to reveal how she looks like to me. Now why would we do this? Well, it's an old fashion thing back then when webcam wasn't a thing and pictures was the only way for us to give the other, showing how we would look like. So, why would she give me a picture of a famous Japanese Idol singer instead of her? Could be that she is afraid to reveal herself to me? Or thinks in a negative way about me? She said she trusts me, she said I'm a nice guy. So why can't she give me her real picture? Now I know, we should do webcam but she doesn't have one but I do and I'm not afraid to show how I look like to anyone and I'm not good looking at all but I just want to see what she looks like.
So I don't know what to believe in anymore and I just found out that picture isn't her at all last night. In fact, I've always been suspcious about her because of the things she has told me. Some of the things she told are not real information. Could it be she doesn't trust me at all? Or just fucking around with me because it's simply the internet world?
I might talk to her next time and I'm not sure what's the best course of action the next time I do talk to her on MSN. Should I brush it off saying that I don't believe the things you say to me because you aren't being honest with me or I'm going to give you a chance for us start over and actually become friends online. What should I do? This situation is far beyond of my intelligence that I hold and I would greatly appreciate if anyone can help me out here.
It may be that she is painting a picture of her ideal (fantasy) self in what she believes is a place (the internet) no one will find her out. This is farily common. However this means you can't trust her. Tell her in a nice way that you know that that is not her picture, and that you know some things she's said are not true, and would like to try again at a relationship or friendship or whatever you are after if you like.
I however, would not talk to her again after this as she has broken your trust.
I thought so that she has broken my trust. It's funny how people do these kinds of things but at the same time it's interesting. However, doesn't everyone deserve a second change.
>We started talking after I helped the person on how to add files into this one software.
That's a very cute and nerdy form of courtship ^_^ I think you should file her(?) as a friend/possible interest. She(?)'s just not ready to reveal too much about her(?). I think that at the moment, your exchanges are just a fantasy that she(?) indulges in. You can actually play a detective game, and slowly triangulate who she(?) really is. But I would not press her(?) too much, since obviously she(?)'s not ready for that. Perhaps she(?) will open up as time passes and your communication deepens.
I consider it a good thing that she(?) was not too skillful in her(?) deception, or it would have been more painful to you. I think she(?) did not make a real effort to deceive you, it's just a fantasy at the moment, and if you play the game, there's no reason both of you can't have fun.
Hello everyone and good morning I just woke up awhile ago,
I apologize to some of my sentences. I tend to mis-puy words when I'm supposed to type it out the way that I wanted it for you guys to read so that you all can understand what I'm trying to say. In other words, typo?
Anywho, she hasn't been on lately since she told me that she is going to a new homestay family. I guess that's today. She didn't like her current one because she told me that all they do is fight and force her to do things around the house which I thought is not cool at all. Also told me that when the wife goes out, the husband starts watching ecchi. In other words, watching inappropriate things on TV even when she's there. I guess she took my advice but I didn't say anything though she went to the homestay company to request a transfer to another better family. Since I said I told her to watch out for that guy. I mean, who knows what will happen, right?
She told me that she would not be able to talk to me because she'll be doing a lot of things due to her transfer to a new place. Staying with a new homestay family. It's weird because she told me that from a picture she was given, it look really nice like it was a place for rich people to live in. Also, she told me that a long black car would come and pick her up. I was like, wtf? A limo? Sounds farfetched to me but at the same, like i said, it's interesting.
I have ways to figure out who a person is on the internet when I really want to know if they are lying or not and yes, she was not too skillful in her deception. The picture she gave me was the most suspicious of it all and thanks to my skills that I have possessed, I was able to debunk the picture.
This isn't the first time that has happened for this kind of deception thing so I guess you can I've been experienced it. Why did I post here for help anyway? I want help to what or how to handle the situation because up to this part is something I can't seem to picture things further of how I could handle the situation when the time comes. The results I pictured are blurred and that's why I need opinions, suggestion, advice, etc. So, thank you to those who are helping me out. I very much appreciated it. Until then, I await her to go online but still don't know how I should handle the situation once we talk again.
tell the truth..speak your mind.. and if she's not a real friend she'll prolly hide.. yet if she wants to become friends with u, she'll ct different,..
might be akward in the beginning as you have sorted it out, but it will be worth the effort, im sure.
Good luck, OP! :3
I think >>6 is right, just tell her that you saw through, but that it's ok, you'll continue to speak with her, and that she can relax and let herself be more sincere.
Thanks guys. =) I think I should tell her frankly. I am afraid of the what the result will be but it's for the best.
Greetings OP.
Don't forget your "friend" may also be a man.
I think you need to be a little more cynical when you talk to people online. Assuming that everyone will give their real photo, details, and situation, is very naive.
She's in the wrong for lying to you, but then you're partly to blame for expecting one to completely divulge their information to someone they have never met in real life before.
Hence the fact that there are internet relationships that manifests into real life love (albeit, a very small percentage), astounds me.
>>9
Haha, I'm aware of that the person might perhaps be a man.
>>10
Does it really matter? I don't like being deceived. I know I'm partly to blame since it was fault to begin with but this person doesn't have to be like that to me when I'm being nice and respectful at least. I don't know about you but I want to get even. After all, this is the internet right?
In a couple of days there might be a result of what might happened. So we will see until then, I'm just sitting here for an R & R.
OP here. Here are the results:
The person went online last night and I went directly about it. We greeted each other and I asked her how she's doing. She said she's fine and she return the question on me. I said I was ok. Then I said that I want to talk about something and I'm giving you a chance. She said for what? For us. She doesn't understand what I was saying like she acted all stupid about it not knowing what I was going to say. Had no clue that I knew what was going on about her. I said: Do you have anything else to say before I say something? I was giving her the chance to say something I was hoping to hear but I guess it was my mistake to not give any hints at all but she should know what the hell she's been doing to me.
So I went on to say: You are not who I thought you would be. Still she did not understand why I said that until I mentioned the picture she gave me. I said that the picture you gave me, that's not you. I'm sorry.
Suddenly she signed off after I said that. I thought to myself for a second that....wow, that was the result I pictured after all. That was my actual prediction.I chuckled.
While she went offline, I went on to say a few things to clear things up. You know, let it out of my chest. Then, if we weren't going to talk anymore I said a farewell message to her....or him.
After all that weird situation. I laughed and laughed. It seemed kinda funny to me for some reason because I laughed at the part when the person suddenly signed off. It is because I visioned what will happened if I said something like that to her and I was right.
I have done some stupid things like OP. like, believing people on the net ^^
imo, she might be not a man, but just some busu joshi, or fatty, or something that she won't reveal to you. and she wanted a boyfriend on the net who will be supposing about her being cute unless the truth will be revealed. some personal experience, sigh.
anyway, now you are stronger, op.
>>11
No one likes being deceived. I'm just saying that I think you expected too much from an internet relationship. She probably just wanted someone to talk to, whereas you seemed to be looking for the whole schabang.
Just warning you that you should be more laid back about meeting people online, otherwise you could get very hurt.
>>14
I guess you are the person who I've been talking to in the personal issues section?
Anywho, I shouldn't have done that. I know I did a stupid thing and shouldn't have expected the things coming at me. I fell on my own trap. I'm sure this time, I won't make the same mistake ever again from now on. I should tell myself that internet is internet and the interactions you make with other people should stay on the internet. Real life shouldn't take part for it.