Dear /romance/,
I'm currently out of the country visiting relatives, and won't be able to see my boyfriend this month. Due to the distance and time difference, it is easiest for us to keep in contact via email.
However, I've only received two brief emails from him in twelve days, and even then they were replies to emails I took the initiative to send first. He never replies after I respond to him, and he hasn't told me a word about what he's been doing since I left. It's irritating, and it's worrying.
I realize that he's busy, but it's summer break-- how busy could he possibly be that he couldn't reply to one email every few days, from somebody ostensibly important to him? Even during the school year we managed to maintain online contact, and that was when I had to use school computers and he had papers to write.
When this happens, I can only conclude that he doesn't care enough to talk to me. Or, if my imagination is left to wander, that he's with another girl back at home, since there's no shortage of females vying for his attention.
All of this is in my head, which is the problem with this relationship. I haven't told him any of my concerns in the last few emails I sent-- only what I've been doing on vacation, and other trivial things. I hate coming off as pushy, since we are both supposed to be able to lead our own lives, without overdependence or nagging.
What do I do? How do I approach this? I'm basically going insane.
Go outside and meet people. I promise that it's the best thing you could ever do to yourself. This whole 1 on 1 relationship bullshit is moronic. You're not married. Hell, you're not even together technically, he's away, he's not responding, why should you care? Why do you care anyway? Is he the ONE and ONLY in this world? Not possible. I'm better, I promise!
You've only been apart 12 days, that's the blink of an eye really.
Calm down, go out and enjoy your vacation okay? You should actually be enjoying a little break from your significant other. Time spent apart and not in constant contact is important for a relationship.
You should save your stories from your trip to tell him when you are face to face, rather than by email and let him do the same, its great when you meet back with someone you've missed and you can hear what good stuff happened while you were apart.
So make sure you have a tonne of great things to tell your boyfriend about your trip for when you return, that means going out and having some adventures.
> I've only received two brief emails from him in twelve days, and even then they were replies to emails I took the initiative to send first. He never replies after I respond to him, and he hasn't told me a word about what he's been doing since I left.
> only what I've been doing on vacation, and other trivial things.
I hope you understand men simply have less to say then women.
The details of what he's been doing he most likely does not wish to bore you with. And what you consider just trivial is probably a block of rambling text to most men.
I think what you should do is understand he is most likely just being a guy.
My relationship just recently became long distance too, were in completely different time zones but we still find time to talk at least 3 hours a day. I dont know how close you actually are with your boyfriend, but if my girlfriend acted like that for 12 days i would definitely be pissed off and shed have a lot to answer for, i know it would be the same if i acted like that to her. Fuck being all considerate, if your boyfriend is making you feel like shit then you have a reason to be "nagging."
I don't know how much longer you'll be on vacation for, but isn't a good relationship supposed to be based on trust and that? It's difficult, I think, to do that when long distance calls are so cheap, but you've got to cut him some slack. You should definitely address your concerns with him, and I think he could be at least reasonably understanding if you explain your reasoning. Enjoy your vacation, definitely. Don't let this get you down.
12 days is nothing. its probably a sign you nag him too much.
Thanks to everyone for putting things in perspective. However, to clarify the situation a little:
Part of the problem is that I'm currently staying at my grandparents' and there's nothing to do near the "retirement community", and I don't really speak the language even though I look like a native, so it's hard to get around. It doesn't help I become shy when there's the potential of looking like an idiot in this country-- decreasing my chances of an adventure to almost zero. This isn't a vacation at all; it's really more like a waste of time as I accompany my parents as they visit relatives.
The only thing I have going on here is the internet, and even then the country bans a lot of the websites I regularly visit, so my activities are fairly restricted.
Also, prior to this my boyfriend and I were separated for another two months because of his work, and I only managed to see him for one day before I had to fly out-- so I've had enough of a break. (It worries me to think that he hasn't.)
I'll stop emailing him for the rest of the trip if he doesn't respond, and tell him about it once we meet up again. In the meantime I'll try not to think too hard about it.
Maybe everyone is right, and he's just "being a guy", or something urgent is eating up all of his time. I do have trust issues, and communication ones as well, which I know I need to work on. Probably when I tell him he will be totally bewildered-- that would be the best possible outcome.
Cheers all.
OP here.
Holy shit
http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/997ew/i_had_the_opportunity_to_backpack_around_europe/
is this me.
>>9 It looks like you're getting the hang of it.
Leave the poor guy in peace, we all need our secret garden to relax and take a deep breath. You'll soon be together again.
t'was a good read though ^_^
all i can say is i hope you two can deak with it in your own ways.
If not.... leave the guy there are lots more people in the world then u can think