in my last relationship i did the standard stuff that everyone reccomends...be open with the other person, not bottling stuff up, having direct, clear communication and all that jazz.
turned out that she ended up taking me for granted,and when i told her about how i felt it always ended up in a quarrel. i was always there for her, maybe too easily there, and even she said it got boring.
i'm with someone else now, and the past experience has driven me to start playing mind games with my new gf. sometimes i don't reply to her texts on purpose or take very long...same thing for IM. stuff like that...
i hate doing this shit but i can't deny it's put me in a better position than i was in my previous r/s.
i know i'm a bastard but i can't help it.
you can help it if you really care for her.
There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. You can't be a bastard for giving a woman exactly what she craves. Keep it up.
'Playing games' is just code for lame. If you had a life, you wouldn't have to act or deceive with faked detachment/preoccupation in order to appear like a person with a full life.
Get off the computer and quit carrying your phone with you everywhere like some desperate little prick.
Ew, ew ew.
Are you serious OP ?
>>even she said it got boring.
Protip: All relationships are going to get boring and you shouldn't be in one, at least not a serious one, if all your looking for is a cheap, stupid thrill.
What exactly is a 'life'? Where do they sell these things and what is the price point? Why is it only dicks claim to have this 'life' to the exclusion of people they don't like?
You're right, his ex-girlfriend was a bitch. But your phrasing makes it seem like you're implying the OP was or is shallow in his pursuit of relationships.
>What exactly is a 'life'?
Friends, family, work, study, exercise, hobbies, responsibilities, clubs etc and a mixture thereof.
And why evidence suggests the OP does not have that?
Let's just say that the OP needs to be less of a prick, sure, he'll get hurt being who he is... But if he isn't who he really is he will end up with a girl who's not right for him, or maybe she'll hurt the girl because she can tell he's playing games.
People reaaally should be honest because there's really not much of a point in going around pretending. You'll just end up far worse.
>>9
The fact he has time to play "mind games" suggests so, if he has any of those things he sure as hell isn't doing enough of 'em.
Life shouldn't be wasted on inane bullshit like this my friend.
You neglected the option of where he ends up alone or in a series of failed relationships. That's what happens when a man is too nice. A woman can't respect a man that kisses her ass.
> But if he isn't who he really is he
I think that was the problem. OP followed 'expert' advice and all he ended up doing was boring a woman. So the solution is to do what works, not what anyone else suggests.
> People reaaally should be honest because there's really not much of a point in going around pretending.
Now that's just wrong. It sounds nice, but honesty just gets us all in trouble. No woman on earth wants honesty. If you're female and you have to argue with that, than you've stumbled on the core issue: Women don't know what they want.
10 here, and you don't know me or my date preferences so you shouldn't go ahead and assume that you know me just because I too am a woman. Nice generalization you did there.
Did you even bother to think when you posted that ?
And do you realize that women don't know what they want is a totally reverse situation ? They say they want a nice guy, stay with the idiot due to animalesque features of the female body but in fact they need and really want (although they don't know it) the nice guy.
Listen OP, if you bore girls because you're nice then you're with the wrong girls, there are girls out there that want someone nice, who deserve and need someone nice, so don't worry, sure, go ahead and don't be who you really are, enjoy living in lies but you should know that there are girls out there who want guys like you, they really do, even though they don't know it.
>there are girls out there who want guys like you, they really do, even though they don't know it.
Textbook case of trainwreck ^_^
Not that I disagree...
See OP, you just need to find some clueless girl who does not know what's good for her and ... until she realizes you're the one for her. To save some time, target the single mothers/divorced/childless/virgin girls in their thirties. By then they usually become aware of their need for a nice guy ^_^
>>12
I want honesty but I don't want a loser that has nothing in their life but me and can do nothing but mope around being ultra available (even if they pretend they aren't) until I'm done with my own life.
Oh and look at that, I know what I want.
OP girl is bored with you 'cause you are boring, it's as simple as that, the new girl will get bored of you too soon enough. The game playing is just postponing her discovering exactly how bland you are.
fake it until you make it bro...just make sure you work on making it
You're right, I don't know you. And generalizations always wrong because there are always exceptions. I've waited a day before posting again and I realize I shouldn't be disrupting this thread with a debate, so I apologize to >>1.
I think the situation you describe is somewhat accurate, but I think it's more realistic to say that a good man is what's best for her. But what is best for us is not always what we want.
>>15
So to sum it up you want a man that does not need you and has plenty of dating options already? That's predictable. Irrational but predictable.
I don't believe you when you say you want honesty. I'd press the issue but I don't feel I'd be getting an honest answer.
Now in defense of >>1, you have no right to judge him as being boring, unless you happen to be his ex. Who said she was bored, not that he was boring. Because, as he's figured out on his own, he was all too easily there for her. (And right now, she's probably having second thoughts, but only because he's no longer available)
Because for some reason it drives women nuts when they are ignored. When a guy runs to her and is open to her and treats her like a princess, that's the exact opposite of that. I can only speculate on why. It's stupid, but men are no better. Only, in general, we know what we want and can sum it up in a few words.
>So to sum it up you want a man that does not need you and has plenty of dating options already?
Indeed, someone that chooses to be with you based on your merits and vice versa. You don't need someone, your life is simply enhanced by them. If you think you 'need' someone, you ought'a be working out your issues with a therapist, because it isn't the job of your partner to be whatever you are lacking in your own self.
Playing games and being dishonest as a way to gain acceptance is a big red flag when it comes to the mental health of whomever you are dealing with. I don't think that it's irrational at all to want to date a happy, healthy and interesting person, do you?
>I'd press the issue but I don't feel I'd be getting an honest answer.
Nice way to shut down a conversation that.