I called into a live radio show and talked about my relationship on air-I'm scared he'll find out (2)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-19 17:15 ID:LRtylcwY

I feel like a fucking idiot for not giving a fake name and state but I didn't know they'd actually address me as "Jane from XState" when they took my call. I called to ask the "expert" about a statistic I read about that claimed that a woman in a relationship with a much older man would have a shorter life span and more health problems than a woman in a conventional relationship. I revealed that I'm in a relationship with a man 22 years my senior and that the relationship is incredibly rewarding and that I wouldn't trade it for anything, but I also said that I feared the future in terms of him being 80 when I'm 60 and dealing with that. They pretty much said "you should live in the now and not worry about the stuff down the road" and told me to discount the statistic I heard about the life span and health problems.

That's all fine and dandy and in retrospect, apart from dispelling the statistic, I didn't really get anything of use from the call.

But, now as I sit here only an hour after making the call, I'm fucking horrified that he or someone else one or both of us knows will have heard the broad cast (or hear it in one of its many replays during the week) and he'll find out about it. I'm literally breaking out in hives as I sit here worrying about it.

I also feel like I betrayed him by putting something about him/us out there into the world with presumably thousands listening without asking him first. I don't want to tell him I did it because I don't want to upset him and I DON'T want him to think that because I called a radio show I feel like there's something wrong with him or us.

I don't and didn't feel like there was a problem, I just wanted perspective of a "professional" on what to expect with a relationship with a great age disparity in it.

But now I feel paranoid to an extreme and I also feel an overwhelming guilt about saying what I said to complete strangers.

I don't know what to do about the potential of others hearing it (and my name, age, the state I live in and my situation) and confronting me or telling him about it (probably going to lose sleep for a long time), but I want to know if the guilt is warranted. Would you be upset if you were in his (or my) position?

Please give me advice, Anons. I'm desperate and terrified.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-20 06:28 ID:ALWtJ0P2

He probably didn't here it and even if he did or any person you know did its possible they just assumed it was a coincidence. I anycase even if he did hear it I don't think you have any reason to worry. If he is that much older he probably has a lot more experience dealing with people and so therefore should be more understanding of these types of things. The thing is though you are freaking out a bunch and thats bad the one sure fire way to get that out of your system is to talk to him about it. It sounds like the dumbest idea ever but its the right one you'll feel better and if you don't tell him your guilt might manifest itself in other ways and make him suspect something maybe even suspect something worse than wat you actually did which realy wasn't that bad. Teling him is better in the long run even if it is hard. Openness and trust is what realtionships are based on after all.

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