Finally in a relationship ... Not what I expected (3)

1 Name: Disappoint : 2011-06-09 16:33 ID:HDNN/tJk

I've never had a real relationship before a month ago, when I met a girl and started spending quite a bit of time together. We ended up having sex (I was a virgin). Sex wasn't as exciting as I had expected. It was like masturbating but more work and less satisfying (my fist can put more pressure than bag could every hope to). We started dating a couple days ago. I told her that I'm unsure of my feelings and thought that fallin in love would feel like more than this but we decided to see what might grow if we tried. Shes so nice and thoughtful and she's alright looking too. I don't understand why I don't feel more than friendship for her. Is that what love is? Friendship with sex? I thought love would be really fun. I guess I should've just stuck to my hobbies and not tried to be friends with girls.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-06-10 05:29 ID:pP+Idn4G

>Is that what love is? Friendship with sex?

-shrug-
I've always thought of it that way, though I too find fulfillment in various other interests which serve to make me rather detached from the redundant, predictable pursuit of ``romance''. If you keep yourself available you might find someone for whom you can truly say you feel a love of sorts... eventually. But mostly the relationship game is an ultimately fruitless series of meetings and friendships involving physical attraction and the self-deception that you need this person in some way or other.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-06-10 06:23 ID:nJXv1Odk

There are scores of types of people, and scores of types of relationships. There are relationships of convenience, relations of friendship with benefits, give-and-take relationships, true loving relationships, puppy love relationships, etc.

Not all relationships are like the one you're in now. Through time and experience, you'll learn what kind of relationship you're looking for. For now, just enjoy what you have, and if you start to get really tired of it, talk it over with her. The last thing you want to do is stay in a passionless relationship because you're scared to end it, that will just end up hurting you both.

That said, don't expect a magical love of your life to come on like you see in movies. Yes, sometimes there is a chemical attraction that makes you feel madly in love with somebody. However, even this attraction wears off eventually. Either way, you'll eventually have to try to make a relationship work by developing a deeper, real love over time. If both people have enough motivation and are willing to put in the effort, you can make a relationship work without the heart-pumping chemical crush element.

As for sex: sure, you can give your dick harder and more immediate pressure with your hand, but there's a lot of advantages to having another person, and there's a lot more to sex than just genital stimulation. I won't go into details since I'm sure you can guess or google, but there's countless ways to spice up life in the bedroom. I personally enjoy sex a lot more if I have a loving connection with my partner, and also find that the sex tends to get better as you and your partner learn what turns each other on.

I rambled on a bit, but my main point is that this is only your first relationship and sex partner, so you still have a lot to learn about love and sex, the kind of things you can only learn by going through experiences. Endless possibilities stretch out before you!

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