I've got the will and the means (sort of) to meet a lady but there are no places around where I live that are promising in that regard. They're all bars essentially, and feature the same sort of tattooed tramp stamp, ass mostly hanging out of low riders, flip-flop and tanktop wearing type of lady. This is basically the opposite of what I'm looking for.

Move?
Go to events where you would meet people with similar interest.
Examples: You like painting? Go to a painting workshop. Or maybe art museum.