Trying to date a friend (6)

1 Name: Tomodachi : 2012-05-01 15:48 ID:PvOU8P76

I've got a female friend I've been, yeah you know where this is going. I like her. I've actually liked her for a while and even asked her out once. At the time she was going to school out of state, and we had mostly talked on line. She rejected me of corse, but we stayed friends. We actually became better friends after she rejected me. Since then I had sort of been seeing someone else up until the start of this year when she dumped me for bs reasons that basically boiled down to she could not comite.

My friend has been home for about a year now, and we have been getting on amazingly. Since the break up with my ex we have been hanging out almost all the time and talking just about every day. A few months ago I realized I actually still care about her. Since that realisation I've been trying to see if we can be more than friends since things have changed a lot. For one we actually see each other. For another we have started making a lot of sexual jokes around each other. I've also been less of a bitch about touching her, patting her on the head, a hand on the back, hugs when we leave which have been getting less awkward. Sadly the places we hang out (her bedroom and my basement where we keep the big screen) have only regular chairs so cuddling is almost impossible. She has me over a fair bit and I've eaten dinner with her family, I even go shopping for groceries with her (she pays for her own groceries, and I drive even though she said she could). Like me she hasn't dated much, and of the guys who have been interested in her, she has admitted that in hind sight I am probably the best.

So basically, I guess I am looking for any advice on how to smooth the process and make it more likely that she will be interested. Thanks for your time.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-02 09:40 ID:a23jJbDB

Welcome to the friendzone. How to get out... tell her you like her... and stop talking to her... going to be a long and hard process... and all you can do is hope that either she says yes right off the bat which would be good... or let her realize that she wants to be with you... else she will still say no... and after a long period of getting over her... you can go back to being friends.

Hard truth.... but hope all goes well for you.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-09 16:04 ID:XAAHDZ0+

Generally speaking, I was in a similar situation with a friend (but I am female and my "crush" was male), and when I simply could not take the build up of pressure, desire, and a need from deep within to tell him how I felt and what I wanted in our relationship, I just freaking told him.

Like you, we hugged every time we parted. One day, as we were hugging goodbye in my apartment, alone, I said, "I love spending time with you" as I had many times before, and after he replied, "ah, me too" I added, "but I don't just love spending time with you, [Anon], I love you, too."

I'm sure there was a smoother way to say it, but I was so nervous and I just had to tell him. He reciprocated on the spot. And our relationship began to evolve on that day. That was a year ago last month. In the last year, we've been closer than ever, and we're still growing together.

There's a sample scenario. I hope you can do something about the feelings you have. The hugs, the jokes, her comment about you being the best, and the time you spend together as well as her acceptance of your gentle forms of physical contact all point in the right direction. Find out what's there. Find out how much there is between you.

Tell her, and good luck.

4 Name: To : 2012-05-22 15:06 ID:0fr2Nux7

>>3 I have thought of doing that before, just putting it out there like that. Thank you for telling me how it went for you. We are so close right now that it feels in a lot of ways that we are already dating. Which is part of why it is so hard and confusing. I'm not sure weither these signs point to interest in dating, or just to a deep friendship.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-23 23:53 ID:tSD1Jksl

>>3
That pretty much just happened to me. We'd been hanging out almost every night, spending hours just talking and hugging before parting. She broke down and told me how much she actually liked me, so I hugged her close and told her everything was okay and that I felt the same way. Now we're kissing and cuddling all over the place.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-11 17:06 ID:qm5Yp14U

lol...damn. so I guess I'm not da only one. Gf confessed to me too almost 8 years ago in a letter via phone call. sad that i didn't confess...but it was better than not having a relationship at all!

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