My manga any good? (2)

1 Name: Zarana : 2010-02-13 00:03 ID:uVoAZ/NG

Here is my idea, I have been working on this Manga for about 4-5 months now and have planned out quite alot.

It is based around a story of adventure, revenge and love. The theme is similar to Naruto and set around the same time period.

The story is about a world full of fighters who are all blessed with different ability's to control different elements and have different techniques.

Aeroex, the main charecter, is different to all the other citizens of his town. He was born without any natural ability to control any element or technique. However dispite this, his parents (who are both renound exceptional fighters) decide to send him to the local "Arts of fighting Dojo" where he competes with the other students his age to make into the "Platinum 4" (The platinum 4 is each town's top 4 fighters and are formed into a squad to compete in the World tournment championships).

There eventually comes a time where Aeroex feels he is inferior to all his fellow class mates, including Daora, (the best student from the dojo). His best friend "Max" attempts to cheer him up, however Aeroex feels even more inferior and walks out into the forest to think. However whilst in the forest Jenumbi approaches Aeroex. Jenumbi is what the manga calls an "Elite" and is exceptionally powerful fighter and is wanted by all the major cities and towns and is seen as a general "villan" (note that his element is fire). Jenumbi tells Aeroex that he has been watching from a distance and then minipulates Aeroex into believing he knows how Aeroex feels, Jenumbi then offers Aeroex part of his element (fire) in exchange for a deal that Aeroex will do one thing and will oblige into doing one favour for Jenumbi.

Being neglected and feeling inferior his whole life Aereox, then foolishly accepts the contract and is given the fire element. The story then builds up from here.

Summary,
Max (his best friend) uses the techique of "blade impulses" where he uses his duel blades to create impluses which smash "Gin" into his opponent. (Gin is a sense of energy such as Kai, Chi, Chakra etc.) Max is seen as the friendly cheerful guy and is generally a happy guy.

Next is Tayuya, Tayuya uses the element of "Life" and can summon plants and roots to strike her opponents. Tayuya is seen as the lonely female of the group and is in a sense the mother of the lot.

Daora, uses "Wind" to minupulate the battle into his favour and can launch devastating blows to his opponent. Daoara is seen as the "cool" guy in his party and is not to keen on being involved in any group activiteas, his child hood past is rather strange as both his parents are not talked about or seen until later in the adventure.

After, these 4 head with their sensei who is one of the most powerful fighters in the world and is seen as a threat to Jenumbi himself, to the world championships, at this tournament, our four fighters make powerful comrades aswell as powerful enemies such as Raiku (who uses deadly lightning techniques). Raiku then becomes a student of Jenumbi.

As soon as the tournament is finished Jenumbi appears to Aereox and commands Aeroex to betray and slay his sensei in his sleep. Aereox then refuses to do this and Jenumbi replies "Very well" and dissapeares. When Aereox returns home he finds outs his parents were murdered and home was set alight.

Aereox is then completely enraged and attempts to chase Jenumbi and get revenge. His comrades Max, Tayuya, Daora catch up to him and tag along with him. (Their sensei sent them).

However the twist is that Jenumbi planned this all out and attempts to ca-

I can't tell you the rest :P

2 Name: luna : 2011-01-18 00:03 ID:n1l9HAFw

it sounds good... except for the platinum 4...it doesnt seem to match the story. based on what i read it seems like the story is based upon his development and his deal. maybe you should cut the platinum 4 out or change it if its something vital to the storyline. just a suggestion. other that that its brillliantly thought out.

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