ITT We discuss about our attempts to get back into the society
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Wow, good thread man.
I've been this way kind of for a while. I did some stuff to TRY to get back into society and then I just reverted back to being an odd shut in.
I guess the only thing you can do is try harder. I've taken to working out every day and trying to re-enter the old rat race. I've learned a lot in my time as hikikomori. I'd like to share them:
First, you are going to die. Yes, that's right. You are going to die and nothing will ever change that. Dying is not a bad thing, really. It's necessary and you just aren't alive if you can't stand the chance of dying. I said that, to say this. Your life will run out one day, and it will be confusing and will hit you all at once. Remember that song "Cats in the Cradle"? It's more true than it is given credit for. So don't let somebody sway you the wrong way. Listen to other people, learn from THEIR mistakes as well as your own, but remember that at then end of the day you are YOU. Not them. Screw them. They don't care. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is too short to listen to dickwads, but you just don't know HOW short it really is so make the most of it, but you have to be comfortable so do what YOU believe in and enjoy.
Second, there is no such thing as a free lunch. Take what you can, don't be selfish, and take pride in what you do. Remember that every night you go to bed with your demons. That's what I do, go to bed with my demons. Try to come to an understanding with them.
Success is also relative. You do not need to be a millionaire or keep up with the Joneses. The Joneses are buttholes who are putting on false pretensions. You don't even need to be that wealthy. In fact, money isn't the most important thing. Neither is sex. Neither are women. Women come and go. Success is not measure by a stopwatch nor is it measured by a "life plan". You DO need structure in life, but time should be on YOUR side.
There is a fine line between a rut and a finely crafted niche.
Niches are good.
Oh yeah. I know it can be hard, but try not to be a dick.
Seriously, it's going to happen. There are going to be moments where you are just going to be a dick. Learn from those moments, and try not to repeat it.
Also, remember this: You are already an outsider. This is the life you have chosen for yourself. A lonely and reclusive outcast from the mundane, mainstream society. This can work against you or it can work FOR YOU. It can give you a better insight into the widespread hypocrisy of "the system" and how it must be used, but not worshipped or conformed to.
Also, do not conform. Merely adapt. Dammit, life's too short. If I did anything in my hikikomori time besides spanking the monkey it was watching a LOT of Azumanga Daioh to where it was unhealthy. But I remember the line "ONE LIFE ONE MEETING". I admired that. One life, one meeting. That gives me a license to exact my own nihilism towards my favor.
Plus I did a lot of stupid things like wasting money on a stupid Hotaru doll. At first, I thought it was what I wanted. I should have gotten the Barrett M82 instead. But no, I got a realdoll. It was fun at first, but then I found Jesus. So now I have a sex toy that I don't play with and can't resell.
That's another thing that's helped me. Finding Jesus. Jesus Christ, not Hey-Zoos. Jesus Christ has helped me through a lot of times, remember footprints in the sand? Thought it was cheesy? Me too, but then I remembered, "hey, you know that's right. Jesus DID carry me". I mean I'm blessed, I'm educated and skilled. Don't be overconfident but FIND your confidence that you have and USE IT. So instead of having a .50 rifle I could shoot I now have something that is a symbol of my wayward hedonism.
Sometimes the best lessons are the most costly. But I've learned from it. That's the best way to stop Hikikomori, LEARN FROM IT. Learn from those hours you spent whacking off, playing video games, watching the same DVDs over again, and wasting time on the internet debating foolish things. Remember when you still WERE in the world and the things you've done. The REAL things and try to recapture them.
The world is horrible, and it is a fight. TRY TO STAY IN THE FIGHT. You'll never win, but you can let the world know you were here.
Be your own person. Don't settle for less. Use the edge you got as a mysterious, depraved loner and CAPTIALIZE on it.
Don't ever give yourself away. That's a line from a porno I saw on Skinemax one night. It was spoken by this guy who had like a weird mix between a southern accent and a Brooklyn accent. He said "Don't ever give yourself away". I remembered that.
Because in time, you will be old. If you are lucky to be old, you don't have to be feeble. Work out every day. Don't be lazy. Keep your health, read and feed your mind. Laugh at the tragic, mourn the unchangable, and LIVE.
So Don't give yourself away. They'll be out in droves saying that "Oh well he just fears EMPLOYMENT" or "He's a bum".
No man, you just fell a little. You are trying to stand back up. You were down, but not out. And the best part?
You'll end up being STRONGER than they are. They aren't strong because they fell. They just aren't because they didn't put themselves out there like we did. No. We went out there and we tried and we FELL. WE FELL! And it hurt. And we had to lay there and regain ourselves but now we rise once more and we know what it means to be down. BUT WE ARE GETTING BACK UP.
WE KNOW DEFEAT! So we can appreciate all victories large and small.
And one more thing:
William Shatner said it best.
"GET A LIFE!"
Parsimonious and true. You just have to find it.
But you won't find it sitting on your rear end.
Try EVERYTHING.
...I think you just gave me a huge confidence boost... Thank you.
I lolled
Really there is nothing wrong with being a Hikikomori, hikikomori's are really hermits, but the japanese media came up with hikikomori which give hermits a bad name and lots of other stereotypes, Not all hikikomoris who shut themselves in have the same problem effecting them. There are many reasons why people decide to shut themselves in.
There are those who are actually scared but there are those who choose to shut themselves in because they disagree with the majority of the poeple in their world. We live in a democractic country , where the majority of people decide what goes, but that does not mean all people agree with what is decided, you have the freedom to disagree. Meaning we can disagree with how people are living outside.
The only problem with disagreeing is that your chances of survival in the natural world decreases. No matter what kind of system we diagree with we can't avoid eating..sleeping, shelter. We hikikomori like to stay away from other people but if we do this it will be harder for us to get our food and shelter because we are all alone.
this is why we are always unsecure and think our lives are unstable. We don't know if we can survive in the future if we hold onto our stance. Is there such thing as a job where you dont have to talk or interact with anyone? We might still have to go college where we might have to interact with people... somehow if we can find a solution to the shelter problem then we wont be so insecure, and can be left alone to do whatever we want.
Contrary to popular belief, religion can help people. When you lack someone to talk to, it's nice to be able to believe that there is still someone who understands you and wants to help you. Which could be Jesus or Mohammed or a Buddha or whatever, the basic principle remains the same anyways.
>>10
I talk to Yuki all the time. It's kinda one-sided but I like it that way anyway.
I'm somewhat of a hikikomori myself.
Although there have been times I've gone out with my friends, if no one talks to me throughout the day I'll simply sit in my room and detach myself from reality. I'm still not sure if I can say I'm hiki since I have been outside, but then again it's rare occasion and if given the choice I'd rather stay home most the time.
Anyway, I'm just posting to bring up a good point that a hikikomori anime character raised. Satou (NHK ni Youkoso!) probably put it best. "If you're striving to accomplish something, you aren't really a hikikomori."
I'd think of hikikomori as someone like myself, who's main thing to "strive towards" is finishing a series or leveling up. But even if you stay inside for 3 years straight, if you have something you want to truly put your heart into, I don't think going outside means much.
In other words, I (like many other people) have gotta get off their butt and do something with all their spare time instead of wasting everything.
But it's a bit harder than that orz
>>If I'm not mistaken, you are the same person with the Hotaru doll? Well, one thing is that you seem to give the attention to those two, the doll you own, the other being the gun you want to own, which others could identify it is you by mentioning it in almost every thread you post. Ironically, in this post you said about your dissatisfaction in the Hotaru doll you purchased, whereas in your other posts you praised it like it is most important you have owned in your life. I can tell that you are confused and you not sure whether you made the right decision. You seem to regret alot about the way you are. But what can you do? You can't rewind back to the past and change it.
You've made a few points that I agree with. But in keep in mind that nihilism can be made to go against you if you are not careful. If you believe that no truth is to be found, then don't you think life is pointless? If there is no base to anything.
If nihilism you ment destruction or total rejection of social and political system by means of anarchy or whatnot, well there are something that are ment to protect us like human right laws and the police and security system structure and social welfare.
Just what are you going to fight for if you believe in nihilism? I'm not arguing against people who believe in this, but I'm curious on your take on what you plan to do?
Fight for what? Your existence?,, even when nihilism comes into play?
Just curious, how old are you and what do you do in your life?
Don't forget that hermit isn't to far off better in comparison to hikkikomori. But the term is way cooler than hermit, atleast to me. The term Hikkikomori is defined differently than hermit. It's definition is localised in Japan.
I can understand not wanting to communicate with others for many reasons. Although I don't like communicating with people due to differences in views, interests, etc, but it cannot be denied that we are human, social beings who needs to interact with others. Sometimes it cannot be helped that at times we need to communicate with those that we don't like to interact with, as you have said, we need to survive for food, shelter, etc.
I think we need to cope with this., thus far I could cope with the social situation at work. You just need to pretend and put up a facade to get by.
Insecurity is the main concern, financial issues and the like you need to think ahead on how you going to make a living. Unless you invest, you can't simply free yourself without working. And to invest you need money. Maybe make a compromise between working and doing things in your free time.
Although I'm a hanbun hikki and an otaku, I have something I want to do which I want others to follow. I can't simply look at the possibility of my future prospective to be left alone and doing things that nobody could appreciate in my entire life.
I have some plans but I don't know if it's feasible, I can't predict if it would work and how it would turn out. Like you mention about insecurity, this is a world where we have to work to make a living, some people got it easy by having all the money since they were born, whereas others like me had to work to make a living and can't simply go and do what we want. There is always insecurity in our lives that we need to cope. If you want to do the things you want but you need the opportunities. Maybe the place you live in offers none, and there is no one you know that could get you there. That seems important if you want to get to where you want, you need to know where to get it.
I'm really looking forward to NHK ni Youkoso. This is the anime and manga where I contantly check for updates.
You just need to be content about yourself, you need to be satisfied. But sadly this world wants us to do more than we can, choose it or leave it. Constantly I'm being bombarded with contantly thinking to impress others and be successful. We need to cope with this also.
I actually do have a Steyr AUG, I do not regret that as I enjoy it very much. Unless you meant the Barrett, in which case yeah I wanted to get that one.
I do regret the Hotaru Doll, now. I thought it was important to me, until I was reintroduced to the Lord. Then I realized it was very sinful to have a Hotaru Doll like it was a real person..
I'm not saying I am a nihilist, although sometimes I can feel very nihilistic. All you can do is believe in Jesus and try to beat it.
I used to work for Sandline and Blackwater, but now I've decided to do something different.
That's something else, you have to understand what is most important in life. It isn't an object, no, your riches are in Heaven and the only way to get rich is to believe in Jesus.