(Part 2)
But being a rational, sensible person, I need to understand why this is happening. On a conscious level, I know that these voices - no matter WHAT they say that I myself hadn't noticed on my own - HAVE to belong to me. They MUST be part of my own psyche; another group of "personalities" that are separate from my conscious mind. But that's not what, in my heart of hearts, I believe. It's like a battle between the rational and the irrational.

And more to the point, I don't WANT to get rid of them. Whether they exist or are just part of my own mind, if those voices were suddenly silenced, I feel like I'd be losing a very special part of myself. Something that makes me who I am. Maybe that just doesn't make sense. I don't know. But I also worry that if I continue down this delusional path of self-deception, I wouldn't be facing reality. I wouldn't be truly making an effort to understand who I am. And of course, there's always a chance (and this is where the real insanity comes into play) that the voices that I hear are something more, and by attempting to silence them I would be doing myself a complete disservice. Because even now, the "things" are speaking to me, and what they're saying isn't something like "YOU'RE WRONG! WE'RE ALL REAL!" They're not trying to get me to second-guess myself. They're saying, "Go ahead. Find out what we are. It's alright." In other words, even as I question them, they're still reassuring and helping me.

Man, I just don't know what to do.