This is a story of the events that have led to My present state of existence. I am 26, born near New York city on Long Island and My parents moved way upstate(near the Canadian border) when I was months old.
So I attend school until I reach the age of 13 then it starts to go south, meaning bigtime mental and physical abuse. So Winter break comes and I leave school, never to return. The first critical juncture of life forks for me here as from this point forward I homeschool myself without outside contact from anyone my age living normal lives.
So I spend the time studying eastern philosophy, ancient Chinese History and cultivating my own bleakly nihilistic worldview. The only people I have contact with are my parents throughout this time. I must rely only on my own thoughts with no one understanding me but my Mom, a person with a really poetic soul, to keep me company.
Flash forward 5 years to 1998... After my mother calls them the school agrees to let me take the reagents tests so I can get my high school diploma. The guidance counseler scoffs at my ability to pass the tests, So I show up - take all the tests and pass them scoring over the ninetieth percentile. The principal asks if I would like to attend the graduation ceremonies,I say no in reply ,for me it would nothing but bad memories. I receive My diploma.
Next i take the SAT , apply and am approved for EOP plus the usual grants for college. I miss the deadline to apply to my local university, Plattsburg State. So I checkout the local community college, but since i have never driven a car and have no transportation it goes nowhere. This is the second juncture on the way to .... What?. Years pass....
2001 and the death of my mother from cancer destroys me. Here begins the present phase of existence which is as follows. Living at home in my room, Reading philosophy such as Nietzsche, etc. Dowloading music, anime,with hours in front of a glowing crt display. One day blending into another. Leaving now and then for provisions with My father. Playing my guitar. Years start to blend.
2006 and no end in sight, so i tread onward. I have literally almost never spoken to a girl, The youth which others experience was nonexistent for me, I have Dsl, books to read and live in the realm of thought with a minimal physical aspect to my life. No income, everything provided by my father, This can go on how long? Literally living in the woods 20 miles from civilization.
I just love how there are people going all emo and suicidal over girls and other such. Me ...Girlfriend what the fuck is that? I have no points of reference with the outside world, Many would have opted out of life by now in my place, But for me suicide is still not an option.
My father is 62, If anything happens to him i have a house but almost no income for taxes etc. Perhaps freak out and get $600 a month SSI?.. I enjoy learning ,university might have been fun, but now years have slid by... No Future,Only the present.
Almost no one to speak to. No way out.
Welcome to My life .