It is clearly you are nothing but a coward who feels helpless and powerless. You fear women, obviously you are bullied by them so now you turn to young girls and have of thoughts of raping them to gain control and power. If you want control and power, this route will not work. Even if you did rape young girls, you still have no power and control of what you fear. You still be the same in denial of your fear which you fear to admit. I recommend you confront and overcome your fear, and not just run away from them.