wank itmasturbating stories (23)

1 Name: ANONYMOUS : 2007-05-18 04:57 ID:C2B1ae3r

not sure where this belongs...
but what are your best/worst/most painful/disgusting masturbating experiences? one strange one is self-sucking.

2 Name: ANONYMOUS : 2007-05-18 04:58 ID:C2B1ae3r

title should be masturbating stories.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2007-05-18 13:25 ID:Heaven


4 Name: Anonymous : 2007-05-18 19:27 ID:C2B1ae3r

let this die.

5 Name: Anonymous : 2007-05-18 20:34 ID:uAT9lWNu

I started masturbating at 4.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2007-05-18 22:22 ID:C2B1ae3r

how many kittens is that?

7 Name: Anonymous : 2007-05-19 00:35 ID:Heaven

None. Nothing.


8 Post deleted by moderator.

9 Name: Anonymous : 2008-06-27 18:49 ID:zqVvzLLP


Me too. Or 3.

10 Name: Anonymous : 2008-06-28 03:04 ID:bNzeT3/K


I started masturbating in the womb

11 Name: Anonymous : 2008-06-30 19:14 ID:awZZ8VHA

Well, I jacked off once.

12 Name: ... : 2008-07-05 00:10 ID:xOi2dH2J

I jacked off while punching a baby and eating banana pudding. After the pudding bled to death I was raped by a 40 year old pedophile who just got through blowing a cat. The cat came so much that he drowned. Since he drowned he was dead,I then realized that there was a dead man raping me. After being raped I came a mysterious blue chunky powder. the powder turned out to be an M-4 machine gun. Then my great uncle stepped in and died. I was assassinated at his funural by G.W.Bush.

13 Name: Lucas-kun : 2008-07-05 04:08 ID:Heaven

Man, what the fuck.

14 Name: Anonymous : 2008-07-05 23:23 ID:Heaven

I once came so hard I was propelled across the room by the sheer force of the ejaculation. I broke my back and now I'm paralyzed for life.

15 Name: Anonymous : 2008-07-12 00:06 ID:ReXOmxvC

Ok--you know those little sample-size shampoo bottles? the round ones? I was using one of those, only it wasn't long enough--so I had jammed the metal cap from the top of my lava lamp onto it to make it longer. It worked, stayed on and everything--until after I came. I removed my homemade dildo--and the metal cap stayed stuck! I had to fish it out o' my vagoo, and man did that hurt. Metal edges for the lose.

16 Name: Anonymous : 2008-07-12 03:00 ID:4OhYieow


I once used a cucumber in the shower. And btw I'm a guy. Well it was a very big, and thick cucumber, I'd been eyeing it for days. One lonely evening I built up the courage and snatched it from the fridge, went to the shower and carved it out, and filled in some majo for lube, all under great anticipation. The suction was awesome as projected, and I fucked that slut with fierce abandon for some time, until my vicious thrusts cracked it all along its length.
However the disaster did not end there; the shower smelt like a sallad bar for days, and everyone took notice...

17 Name: Anonymous : 2008-07-12 12:25 ID:Heaven

>the shower smelt like a sallad bar for days, and everyone took notice...

Hahaha fucking wow. :')

18 Name: Anonymous : 2008-07-13 01:25 ID:pP3fHjZw



19 Name: Anonymous : 2008-07-13 03:23 ID:4OhYieow

Oh, all the inanimate things I've forced myself on in my days. The list of fruits and vegetables is long and varied; bananas, pears, eggplants, melons you name it. If I ate half as much fruit as I fucked I'd be quite healthy. Well at least physically, lol. ...Various pasta(in cans), pasteries, I actually tried fucking dough once, I made it myself for the purpose of experiment. Huge failure.
Balloons, condoms/bubble-warps, clay, the list goes on. About the only thing I haven't fucked is an actual woman.

20 Name: Anonymous : 2008-07-17 08:27 ID:jSXcstj/

>>19 XDDDD

21 Name: Anonymous : 2008-07-25 02:04 ID:q5UPZQFA

>>16 well. fucking lol

22 Name: Anonymous : 2008-07-28 10:13 ID:Ki7h7mcj

GB2 420chan.

23 Name: Anonymous : 2008-07-28 17:58 ID:pgJtOPwC

i regularly fap during long drives in my car

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