Heh...I dunno why I'm even starting this thread, I'm pretty sure I'll just get answers like "just talk more" or "go see a psychologist".
The truth is, I'm a social-phobic, which means that I fear people.
Which sounds totally insane to my family and so-called friends(which are too selfish or have too many other friends to care).
I also live in a country which has no idea what S.A.D. is(how sad is that?!).
I really could write a long thread about how hard it is...but I'll just ask you,
what do you think about this disorder? do you know any people who have it? do you think it's acceptable in this society?
I know someone who can't go out in public without being completely scared. She stays in the house most of her time, and unless she is with her boyfriend or a family member, she won't do anything. I believe it really is a problem.
In which ways do you fear people? What are your specific problems with associating with others?
I used to be afraid of people, maybe more or maybe less than you. My motto used to be "I hate people" but actually I realised I didn't like them 'cause I was afraid of being rejected.
Thing had to change when I travelled to the other side of the world in order to study what I wanted. I had to go by myself without even knowing a single person in the entire continent. I spent my whole first year alone, always by myself even when some people would talk to me I would reply with short answers and pretending i don't know them if i saw them again.
It is true that I met a lot of social scum: people who talked at my back, people who looked for me just when they need something etc, etc, etc. But is also true I've made quite a few great friends/acquaintances who I really appreciate.
tl;dr - The moral of the story is no to be afraid of people because there is no way you can have everyone to like you and no man is an island.
Afraid of talking to people? Well, what works for me is to remember that every single person was born bald, ugly and crying. They fall sick, fart, sneeze, cough, sweat, etc, etc,...They are as human as you and I, thus, fallible.
Finally, If someone rejects you just for being different then it was not even worth talking to such narrow minded person so just forget about them and don't take it heart.
Well, when I need to talk to others:
-my back gets cold
-my head gets sweaty
-my knees feel weak
-it's hard to breathe
-my heart races so fast
-I feel dizzy
-I feel this knot in my throat, which makes me want to cry
and I always blush, which makes them think that I like them, which so wrong, cus I can't even look them in the eye.
I also feel short on words, (if I ever get their attention..)
90% of the people I talk to either misunderstand me or don't even want to talk to me...
I can't even buy clothes cus I'm too afraid of meeting ppl I know in the shops..
I just want to stay away from them, but of course it isn't possible.. you always need food and pay bills and all that..
I just hope, someday, somehow I will be able to get away from the society and never come back ...
Have you ever watched or read welcome to the N.H.K.?
Is there anyone you feel ok with?
what do you think about this disorder?
I think you're too egocentric.
I mean, people don't care about you. If they talk to you, they will forget it after ten minutes.
They don't try to read your mind or analyse you either. They have their own real problems, and their own paranoia to deal with.
And if some asshole think he is superior and try to criticize you, you don't have to fear their judgment.
do you think it's acceptable in this society?
No it's not. But I think it's natural for a teenager.
How old are you ?
>>6 sure...2-3 people..but it's just the "hello-how are you? and goodbye"
>>7 I'm not a teenager..hahahaha...see that's why I never wanted to go to a psychologist. They just come up with solutions which make no sense. In these twenty-three years of my life I never once thought of myself as a part of the community, not because of the way other made me feel, but because of stinging pain in my chest every time I wanted to do something with others..
cus I can't even look them in the eye.
Are you ashamed of something ?
Did you killed someone by accident (joke) ?
Do you think you're too fat or have a physical problem ?
Did you live with the money of someone else and feel bad about it (I guess you can't work) ?
Are you ashamed by your illness (infinite loop) ?
And, more important, please answer at least this one :
If you can solve your problem, what will you do next ?
I have social phobia, which I blame a lot of my problems on. No degree, no job, almost no friends, never had a girlfriend, feel lonely all the time. I'll post more tomorrow. I'll probably become a regular on 4ch, it's a good discussion platform.
You can read my diary here:
http://dis.4chan.org/read/lounge/1169462108
2-3 people? who are they? what about your parents? siblings?
maybe it's not social phobia, there are difference between afraid of people (strangers) and disgust being around with people (strangers). im like the second one... i don't like being in bars with too much people around, nice peace and quite is what i always have in mind. being alone... or being alone with friends... seems to me its all just the same. if you talk that much, socialize that much with your friends then you don't have social phobia. some people like you perhaps only desires peaceful environments...
it's like having your own garden blooms where there are no other people snooping around like paparazzi's (analogy from Nana Anime)... well, i guess that concludes that the opposite of social phobia is anti-social.
"do you think its acceptable in the society?"...
sociology 101: adaptation. humans adapts the societies around them, the kind of environment which he/she rovolves in. yet, humans has the choice whether to be in a this society or the other one around. smallest form of society is a family, then relatives, neighbors, and so on. not all of us are happy with the family, relatives... they find other societies like peers, and colleagues.
@7 "i think your egocentric".. i agree with that, the foremost quality of an anti-social is being egocentric. but that doesn't mean you are in the negative side. being egocentric has its own magic. you just have to find and learn the magic spell.
>>11 just people I've known for as long as I remember...
>>12 It's not about me wanting quiet environment, I live in a country that is quiet altogether, so why would I want to live the same way forever.. I'm usually ok being with strangers than my relatives, because I know I might never meet them again, so I somehow just don't mind..but at banks and stuff like that..I just can't stand being in places like that..
Of course you can say "that's not social phobia" and stuff like that, but it's just a definition for something that can't be completely include all the feelings and emotions inside..
I disagree that social anxiety is egocentric. I'm sure it is to a degree, but one doesn't simply isolate themselves from society because their ego dictates it so. Experience is life's teacher, and every now and then you run into one bitch of a teacher. People will continually knock you down, until you feel it necessary to just give up. That is my situation right now, with a chain of bad experiences my body learned that society is something hateful. I can try and do what I can to get out of this self-imposed hell, but my body has been engraved with the constant criticism, the constant laughter, the constant expressed hatred of others that it can no longer see any merit in continuing with society. If I become a social pariah, so be it, as long as I can feed and clothe myself I don't care. I'm broken, and just have been hurt too many times.