a hikikomori in my own heart (24)

1 Name: alone : 2007-07-10 01:53 ID:1jg1oZr+

Hi. Like any other, socially versed 16-18 year old, i love hanging out with my friends, and I've got a large circle of them. But somewhere along the line, i feel(and have been feeling lately) a sense of social entrapment. Why? I don't know. It's not depression. With depression, you're miserable all the time. With me, i'm miserable sometimes, but apathetic most of the time. Everything I do is worthless. I have no skills, and nothing cool or good about my personality. I'm usually quiet, and don't have much to say, so i come across as kinda awkward around people. When my friends make fun of me, for sucking at video games/picking up girls/anything, I laugh it off, but deep down i just feel like shit. I have no skills at all, and i'm super shy; sometimes it just kills me.

Has anyone here felt so awkward, so worthless, to the point of seeing themselves as "inert".

That's why i feel like shit. But i'm shit without an odor. No one really notices me, or cares about me. Everytime i try to engage someone sincerely, to talk about what i really feel, my friends just laugh it off. That's why i feel trapped. That's the kind of hikikomori i am.

Anyone else ever felt that?

2 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-10 02:16 ID:45XXQmrT

It's because you're 16-18. Tack a couple of years on and you'll feel better.

3 Name: alone : 2007-07-10 02:26 ID:1jg1oZr+

dude, everyone i know (except the losers) doesn't have this "social inertia" that I have. I don't know if I'm crazy, or I'm just insecure. Besides, I've already graduated. For example, all my friends have or have had oppertunities to date girls, but I'm just too shy/unattractive/awkward. I mean, i really try, but nothing I do ever gets beyond the small talk stage.


4 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-10 03:24 ID:Heaven

You're not a hikky, you're emo. It is not the same.

5 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-10 07:39 ID:nUm0aG1i

>>1 Could I say I'm beginning to? :I

6 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-10 07:43 ID:Heaven

Said my exact thoughts.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-10 22:56 ID:ouzVwI8M

you're not a hikky. I'm a hikki... i have pretty much every last symptom of being a hikky :(
Go try doing some new stuff, take up a cool new hobby, make some new friends.
You have nothing cool or good about your personality? i'm sure that's a load of crap. You said you actualy try to engage people sincerely and talk about what you really feel? that is defintely both cool and good... most 16-18 year old males dont do it enough. We females love guys who can talk about their feelings :) I'm sure you've got other good qualities as well, you're just being insecure and harsh with yourself.

8 Name: alone : 2007-07-11 15:08 ID:8YALyx5g

yeah...i suppose
i've always been preconditioned to low self esteem, cause when i was younger, i got bullied alot...it's just something that's hard to throw off.

9 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-12 01:09 ID:nwSs8LbH

Young kids usually will do that, just remember that they were kids. Anyone who does it past 16 years of age or so is just being rude and trying to get a laugh for their self.

Why did you get bullied (don't answer if you don't want).

10 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-12 03:59 ID:LTRdiSB0

Well I suffer from depression. I know exactly what you feel like. My mother dragged me out of the house to see a therapist. He asked questions...and really? it just made worse...a lot worse for me. But that is just me. Try telling your parents about it, they might be able to help

11 Name: 43 : 2007-07-12 10:54 ID:RXF2+caO


The first time I hear about a female hikky.

12 Name: alone : 2007-07-12 16:43 ID:8YALyx5g

9: i dunno, I was just a bit of a loner back then. That's all over now, but still, I'm a normally really shy guy, even around my own friends. Plus, I find that when I'm around people, either noone pays atention to me(even when I speak), or their whole attention span is on me. I prefer to try and blend with the crowd.

10: Tell my parents? No way. It's not something I could ever do. As far as my parents know, I'm perfectly normal and well adjusted. I always prefer talking about problems to teachers, friends, etc.

13 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-12 19:31 ID:Heaven


There are a lot of female hikis. My guess is that there are as many as male ones, there just not as likely to get reported, I'm not sure why. Maybe different societal expectations.


Remember, you're only 18. You still have plenty of runway ahead of you. Different planes take off at different times.

Oh, boy that was a corny metaphor, but you get the idea.

It's not unusual to feel depressed around our age (I'm 20 by the way, I consider that to be close). I also suck at video games, and when you consider all the studying time I've wasted playing them, that makes me feel pretty inadequate. I've really got to develop some skills, but that will take time, as I find my interests and figure out what I want to study in school. Generally, in today's society, it's much harder to grow up. We've designed our childhoods that way: to be easy, much too easy, and I guess this is the price we pay for it.

14 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-13 15:12 ID:tXfAWi5d

>>7 We females love guys who can talk about their feelings

This translates to we female love to have guy friends who can talk about their feelings, do not be fooled by this deceptive "love" word.

15 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-13 21:03 ID:j+aEXWaC

You are born alone and you will die alone.
It is not the loneliness affecting you but you affecting the loneliness.

16 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-30 01:08 ID:GSL0bRyl

17 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-30 16:44 ID:pyvN+qqG

( ̄へ ̄) Hello. I am "Mr. Likes To Age Threads". I do believe this is a thread in need of Age, so I would like to Age it. That is why my name is "Mr. Likes To Age Threads".

18 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-30 19:57 ID:5fWfQy6C


we females really do appreciate it when the guy we're with can talk about his feelings. there are various reasons for this.
if they're just a friend, it doesn't really matter if they're the type that talks about their feelings, if its a friend, we're interested in whether they're fun to be friends with.

19 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-30 22:40 ID:Heaven

20 Post deleted by moderator.

21 Name: Anonymous : 2007-08-01 04:34 ID:XJKlUQJo

LOL, sif. How could a Hikikomori -- something I’ve only heard about on TV or in newspapers -- exist here?

22 Name: Anonymous : 2007-08-01 19:38 ID:S6fQRyom

>>21 Hikkikomoris have always been around but we just never had a name for them because it's not really a widespread social issue and we just figure that they'll sort themselves out anyways. We do see them in the news from time to time. They finally open up the apartment and the room is covered with human feces or there are exotic animals that are tearing the place up.

23 Name: Anonymous : 2007-08-01 22:42 ID:ej94mmRI

There are some antibiotics you can take that aren't that hardcore, but can really help.

Like Tetracycline and Minocycline, you should see a skin-doctor first, though.

I'm taking Minocycline and it's helping my Back-ne stay in check and it's really helped clear up my face.

You should also always wash your affected areas at least once a day and put on some of those creams they've got. If you go ahead and pop a zit, make sure you disinfect it afterwards, although I understand it's best not to pop them (more scarring and risk of reinfection).

Anyway, good luck!

24 Name: Anonymous : 2007-08-03 02:32 ID:Heaven

Thread creeping!

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