Drama within the family, a long read, but please. (8)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-14 10:11 ID:1RfYhlK7

It's a long story, but 4-ch, you're the only place I can go to right now. I know there will be trolls posting here who think they're funny, but if I just get one response that helps me out then it's all worth it.

Anyways, the story.

I feel like I was bullied yesterday. My mother got on me really bad (saying I thought I raised you better, guess not. I never thought you were like that), and my Dad as well. My sister did too. Here's what happened for everyone in the house to gang up on me.

Once upon a time there was a circle of friends. Me, my sister, two other dudes, and three other chicks. Eventually, like four years later, things broke off to just me, another guy, then the two other chicks. That's because the excluded people, mainly my sister, started treating people like crap and causing unnecessary drama. We tried to deal with the problem by talking, but to no avail. So we just declared it the new circle. In the new circle everyone is paired up, and my sister doesn't exactly agree with a pairing which I think is the cause of her anger. Like I said, we tried to talk it out, but she would flip every time and curse everyone out, so I said screw it.

So yesterday the new circle was hanging out, and the guy (my best friend) says something like "Why do you even hang with her?" referring to my sister, because the two chicks were still friends with her. I didn't say anything. In fact, I didn't care, and there's a reason for that.

Remember the third chick when the circle first started? Well, her and I had a good thing going on. For a long while. And my sister would constantly try to get into the middle of it, like she didn't want us together. I don't know what the hell her problem was. But eventually, I was dumped, and later I would find out she dumped me out of respect of my sister (which I assume because she didn't like us together). I didn't say anything. There was nothing to say. It was just fucked up.

So that's why I didn't fend for my sister when the guy said that. And at the end of the day, my girlfriend who was still friends with my sister tells her what happened. And then on three way, they call me on my cell and my sister confronts me with crap like "You got a problem with me?" and etc. I said I did have a problem with her, that I did not fucking like how she was acting (cursing out my friends and almost slapping them). And in my mind I knew she was trying to start some shit up again between me and my girl, which happened to be going very well.

So the phone call ended when I said screw it, you're not even worth it. And then she came in and literally started to fight with me (I didn't fight back, just held her down) screaming things like I fucking hate you and such such such. Later on my Dad came in and started yelling at me about how I was wrong and that's my sister and etc. Then my Mom came in as well, telling me the same thing. My girlfriend was on the three way call earlier, can't forget that. She said she also didn't like how I was acting, saying even if she didn't like her brother or something, she wouldn't let people talk crap to her about him.

That night, I thought they were right. I mean, even after all the shit she has done, she is still my sister and I should still fend for her, right? So in order to prove that point, I said I didn't know what was wrong with me and I wouldn't let it happen again and cut my arm (multiple times, it was a dull knife) with a pocket knife right in front of her. That was the only way I could have proven that point. That I meant it.

But now after a five hour sleep, I'm starting to think differently.

Continued in 2nd post.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-14 10:12 ID:1RfYhlK7

Continued from 1st post...

I'm starting to think this is what she wanted all along, to come between me and my girlfriend. My girlfriend is pissed at me now, and she should be, because a guy that doesn't stand up for his own family is a punk. But that's not true. If it was ANYONE but her, I would have fucking killed them. But my girlfriend doesn't know that, she only knows how I acted like a little bitch that night.

My sister...our history isn't good at all. Coming in the middle of a relationship and being an overall shitty person isn't someone I would want to stand up for. And I didn't.

My family drilled into my head that I was wrong. Even to the point where I felt I had to cut myself to prove that I wouldn't do it again.

But should I feel guilty for hanging with this new circle that doesn't involve her any more? We all tried, but she brought it upon herself. Should I feel guilty for not fucking liking my sister? What she did is something my worst enemy would do. Are these cuts on my arm...cuts of me becoming a man? Or cuts of me being ganged up on and becoming vulnerable?

Thanks for reading, 4-ch. I'm not sure if it has any relevance, but I'm 19 years old.

To be honest, I don't like how everything links back to my sister, even my own fucking girlfriend. I love her, but that's not to say I like her, and I want a life that doesn't involve her at all.

But again, thanks for reading. Don't hold anything back, I want some brutal honesty on this situation and how I'm acting.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-14 15:09 ID:qoxCQEjU

About your sister :
Your sister has acted like a bitch.

About you :
You don't have to waste you time with that.
You have done nothing bad, really.
Your sister is annoying, so you don't want to fend her. Sound logical.
You didn't hurt her, she hurt you.
You cut your arms for her (that's very fucking stupid. "I LOVE YOU LOOK ILL CUT MY LEFT HEAR !!!").

About your girlfriend :
She denounce you, dump her.

Again, give up, don't waste your time with that, it's not worth the prize.

4 Name: 43 : 2007-07-14 19:52 ID:oe3rbvRn

Family are not necessarily those who are blood related so being blood related doesn't make you "family" by default. Family are those for who you care about and they care about you.

Talk to your girlfriend, if she knows you enough and cares about you she will understand or at least she will listen.

Post your updates.

Finally, smile

5 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-15 03:18 ID:M6aZ9AX2

I agree with >>3. You shouldn't have cut yourself, it was a dumb thing to do. She's your sister, but that doesn't mean you need to put up with her shit. As >>4 said, talk to your girlfriend about it. If your girlfriend sides with your sister, she's not worth it. Find a girl that's not already buddies with such a destructive and hurtful personality.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-15 18:47 ID:8VrFAGeH

OP here, and an update.

I talked with my girlfriend. I told her that in normal circumstances, of course I would have stood up for my sister, but this was different. I told her I wouldn't let him say anything like that again, but between my sister and I, we go a long way back, and if I could tell you the story then it would all make sense.

She understood though, and I reassured her that you have lost your damn marbles if you think I'm one of those guys that tolerates people talking about their family or friends. I told her that whatever's going on between my sister and I, won't get between us, and she agreed. We then proceeded to talk for the next three hours about nothing in particular, like we always do. So between her and I, it's good. I think we got even closer. I like her even more now. We even made plans to hang out some more next week. =)

As for my sister, I'm going to tolerate her, but we will never be "friends" like that again. I'll tolerate her presence, but not her bullshit, and if she starts something again then it's on. I don't care if everyone in the house turns against me again, I know I'm right. I'm still going to hang with the new circle as well.

As for cutting myself, yes, I regret that. Every time I look at my arm, I regret it. But then, I stopped regretting it. I realized that yes, people do make mistakes, but they also learn from them. I'm never EVER going to harm myself like that again. And as long as I remember that, these cuts on my arm will not bother me. In fact, they actually look pretty cool. =)

So yes, I feel things have been resolved for the most part. Things are good with my friends, my girlfriend, I recently quit a stressful job so I can enjoy the summer, and I won't let the family issues to get to me like that any more. I still feel a little weak (probably because the cuts on my arm are still healing), but things are looking better.

Thanks 4-ch.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-22 03:24 ID:eiuvLiYo

Don't let any of your personal acquaintances have any relationship with your family.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-22 04:23 ID:156AzYRK

What >>7 said. That just outright sucks. My mother knows my roommate's cellphone number and so every time I'm asleep and have put the phone to no-ring, she calls my roommate...

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