So Yeah, what kind of encouragement can 4-ch give to those true losers who feel they've failed at every, or most aspects of their lives? Those people who aren't even good at wasting time,
Or who feel incompetent, or entrenched in angst/depression/b/ What say you to them?
What do we do with these people?
Personally, I find it hard to face the future when I feel like I'm no good at anything. What do we do with these youngsters, suddenly faced with their own failures and shortcomings and the harsh mediocre, anticlimactic, terrifyingly concrete and real realities of reality?
Anyway, just venting... I've got to figure out what I want to do with my life. I'm twenty years old. Technically, that's very young. But like many people in my situation, I feel very old, and over.
How about you?
I know what you mean about feeling old. I'm 20, too, and most of my closest friends, including both my roommates, now have significant others to fawn over, so I'm typically stuck with my roommate's cat as my only company. I've been absorbed in working and whatnot to raise money to pay for college stuff and running an anime club at my college, but over breaks my parents drag me back home from my apartment near my college, and apart from the occasional part time job, I have absolutely nothing to do. All my friends from high school also have jobs and it's near impossible to set up a meeting. I'm really afraid of when I graduate, because then I'll be working all the time, and all my friends from college will be in totally different places.
Also, even though it's really early, my parents are already pressuring me about an arranged marriage. I don't mind the arranged part; it makes it easier to get my parents approval if they pick, and if I don't like the guy I'll just say so and they won't be able to do anything about it. The problem, though, is that it makes me anxious. My parents don't ever seem that reliable, so by my luck they'll snatch up some random Indian guy(I'm Indian by blood, but I'm the whitest friggin nerd in the neighborhood) who can barely speak English and is some creepy looking doctor or something. The worst part is, they'll start doing this when I'm around 25ish, and they'll be looking for guys in their 30's. C'mon! Give me a break! I might feel like I'm in a mid-life crisis, but that doesn't mean I should get hitched to a guy who's really in his mid-life crisis! It'll suck more if he's ugly.
In other words, I kinda want my parents, bless them both, to start looking sooner rather than later. I'd like some time to get to know the guy, you know? If he ends up being a jackass I'd like to find out before I have to file for divorce.
You know what? A cat is fine, too.
Same here... I'm always trying to find encouragement... I'm 26, and since graduating college (went for just an 18 month associate degree), I've been at the same dead-end job for 6 years now, doing computer techie work at a manufacturing place... Which only got rougher when our manager got replaced about 3 years ago with a new manager that has serious anger and personality issues, and flies into a rage...
I'm insecure about my job, as I know they could always find a way to let me go if they no longer needed me... And I know there's literally no future there, as there's literally nowhere to "advance" to... The majority of my friends are all going to a nearby college, but eventually, they'll be leaving, mostly... And the only relationship I ever got into this past summer ended poorly, as it turned out the other person never really had any feelings at all, and was just playing around with me...
On the plus side... I'm moving into an apartment closer to my work and the college, rather than half an hour away, so maybe that'll give me more opportunities to meet new people and start to make changes in my life... And a couple of my friends intend to get me into more "social situations", after how hard I was dropped by the girl I had been involved with, so I'm sticking to that for encouragement right now...
>>2
I actually enjoyed reading your post. It was comforting reading from someone who might be worse off than me, yet is so down to earth about it.
I want to say first off that I understand your situation (despite the vagueness) and your not alone as I've been through that before.
You may be better off without those people, but friends are important in life. It's best not to wait, you don't want to fall into a rut and lose your social skills.
Not knowing the size of your community and what types of public gatherings there are, it's difficult to say how you can meet new friends, but if the college gives group tours, you could go on one (...or two...) and meet someone who is applying.
So, what are some things you do to lift your mood and give yourself encouragement?
Me, I go and read my Ebay feedback.
It's nice to know I'm a fast payer with great communication and highly recommended. A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
don't you think?
You're not alone I might not be as old as you guys but I've definately fucked up my life. But I'm young enough to try again but my pride won't let me. I need to get some money so I can move away and start again. However considering my age and situation it'll be hard to get a job.
Just felt like venting. I'm don't expect anyone to say anything.
I'm hitting 21 in a few months and I'm sort of glad that I'm not the only one that feels old. I'm quite sure my life is fucked by now, I got booted from university 3 years ago so I've been going to school at a college instead to try to transfer to another university (long story about that one).
Unfortunately I'm super lazy and I can't seem to change that, I tried a couple of things but I just can't seem to shed the laziness.
My other problem is that I can't sleep early, I always sleep too late; Something always comes up online or I end up wasting time late at night instead of sleeping, when I do sleep early I have to toss and turn for hours before I'm actually asleep. I mention the sleep thing because if I can get a focused sleeping schedule I might be able to fix some aspect of my life, but my attempts have failed (Just tried once 2 weeks ago).
I just want to get a degree in something so I can graduate and get a decent job to be able to support my parents when they need me to. My looks won't attract any girls, neither will my personality (I'm a rather shy and anti-social person usually), and also the fact that I'm a pretty big otaku or nerd...so I think there's no point thinking about love at all.
I'm sorry for this long long rant, I've never posted on these boards before but I've lurked a lot and I just wanted to rant somewhere. >_< Thanks for reading if you actually took a look at my rantings.
>>9
I read it. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who can't sleep early. I have to tire myself before I can actually sleep, which ends up with me not having enough sleep.
I fail at encouraging though, but in any case, you're not alone.
>>2 Oh wow... O_o Now that's a reality far removed from mine. All I can say is good luck and... are you "allowed" to find a guy on your own? If so you might want to do that.
>>1 I'm 28. I still don't quite know what to do with my life, but then again there's quite many around me who don't either. The difference is that I actually study the problem and have found some answers that suite my situation. I'm currently working on:
- finding my work-ethic since I seam to have lost it or perhaps never had it at all :D lol,
- am adapting my diet and lifestyle into something more healthy and balanced, and am attempting to lose my excess fat
- am becoming a minimalist - my goal is to be able to load all my crap in my car and sail away at moments notice. The ultimate goal would be to have it all in my backpack and to hell with the car - but I try to be practical :)
- am becoming an anarchist and punk by my beliefs, studying my society and finding all the bullshit we're force fed each day, entire day, all year long.
My advice is simple: find something you are passionate about and work on it. Make some goals you want to achieve with that passion of yours. You gotta start somewhere - look at me, I got 4 of them already!
>>9 Lemme put it like this: at 21 I was a nerd as much as any I have meet online or in person. At around 25 I became an otaku as well. Now, at 28, I'm still a bit of an otaku, am using my nerdnes and geeksnes at my work because I can actually use them there - and had two relationships in past 2 years. Dear >>9, you are just 21. Nothing to worry about, just go read some Dale Carnegie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dale_Carnegie) and put some time into studying how non-geeks and non-nerds communicate (think of it as skills you'd need if you'd be sent to an away mission to another planets culture ^_^). That's about all there is to it :)
hmmn... encouragement could i give to people who consider themselves true losers?
The first thing that comes to mind is they almost definitely have at least 2 good qualities:
This is going to sound bad, but I think I motivate myself to do stuff through anger. Like I've been working out for quite a while now so that I look better so I can be like "ha! fuck you ex-girlfriends!" but not in so harsh a way. I just want to feel good about myself, and to do that I want some recognition from others as having improved. Same goes for things like university work. I'm repeating my final year and I'm really trying a lot harder to get as good a degree as I was on target for when I left school. Again, it's sort of like a big fuck you to the people who didn't think I could make something of myself. I've managed to make it sound like I've got serious anger issues, it's just that I couldn't really think of a word to use besides anger.
Think of it this way: we all have only one day of life. Divide your age by 3, most of you are around 21 which divided by 3 is 7. So it is 7:00 am in your day(life), then sun just rose there is a lot left to be done. (I learnt this from a manga >_<)
Also, measure success in your own terms. Do what success means to you and not to what you're told it means. >>12 is right,do what you want, be hedonistic, it doesn't matter if you're richer than bill gates if you don't enjoy it. On the other hand if you're the cheapest harlot in town but you love it then stick to it and fuck the world, fuck society and everyone else.
A couple things:
-Live for yourself. I know this is a canned phrase, but it means something! Stick up for yourself, and try to change the world to be more hospitable to who you are, instead of changing yourself to be who the world wants you to be. This will be difficult, but will give your life more meaning.
-Learn to pick something you find interesting, and just stick with it and DO IT. Surely there must be SOMETHING you like. Do you like manga? Draw manga. Not good at drawing, you say? Then learn. Practice. You may not be any good now, but if you learn to love the creation process for itself, you will find some years down the road that all the struggle has paid off, you really are pretty good at drawing, and your life has more meaning than it previously did - more direction. Piro (Fred Gallagher) is an excellent example of a shy, self-loathing artist who really sucked at drawing - but he stuck with it, and grew and grew as an artist until Megatokyo, HIS creation, finally became one of the most popular comics on the Web. This attitude can be applied to anything.
That's all I can think of for now. Good hunting!
therapy. maybe meds. that's my advice to everything, not sure if that's good or not, but it worked for me.
i know what you mean about feeling old. i'll be 20 soon and i feel like i need one of those over the hill candles on my birthday cake.