Not too verbally articulate here, bare with me please.
My major source of motivation to do anything is affirmation from those important to me but I haven't gotten any in a long time. Tried to keep going for a few years after that but snapped, thinking, "everything I do is worthless anyway, so why bother at all," and life was failing. Magically recovered twice but I'm back in the dark again. I don't trust a soul since birth so praise from outsiders all translate to bluff. Am reaching the point where the important people are losing their special status in me. In that case, I'll have no motivation left; need to shift source to something other than people (trust issues prevent names being added to VIP list).
tl;dr - What keeps you going and how? If you plan to answer, "do it for yourself," please elaborate thoroughly. Thank you for hearing me out.
Honestly, I'm probably not the best person to be motivating someone else. But I find that what gets me up in the morning is a need to pee, or maybe eat. No matter how bad stuff gets, it's better to piss in the toilet than in your bed. And it's better to eat some crap instant food than go hungry for the day. So that's how you can get by for the time being, with little stuff like that.
(-__-)
Let's face it, we're a lazy generation. We just don't have that many pressures or responsibilities compared to the past generations, we're much more free in that respect, and it makes doing stuff difficult. It used to be that one's life didn't belong to oneself. A person's "reason to exist" was to dedicate themselves to the service of another entity. That makes life very easy I think for the majority of people (those who aren't special leaders/geniuses). That's why the vast majority of people in history had their lives laid out for them in that way.
This whole individualist human-rights stuff comes at a major price: freedom. Freedom sucks.
It's possible that you've also lost value in what you thought was important before. Try rediscovering what you already have. If you used to talk to a certain person and get your affirmation from him/her, talk to that person again? See what it was that you found so fascinating before about them. Paying more attention to them will garner attention for you, and in the end, it won't make you feel so worthless knowing that someone out there values you.
It could be intangible things too, like songs, for example. What was it that you used to love about the song? How come you're taking it for granted now? Sometimes, nostalgia motivates me. Only sometimes, not all the time. I'm mostly going through this quarter-life crisis too.
Life is beautiful, appreciate it at your own pace, listen to the sounds of people walking, cars passing by, screaming children, the slight wonderful sound of birds flying. Feel life, this is the first step into everything and nothing.
Feel pressure ? Society makes you want to scream ? Meh, just scream already, release the pressure. Feel useless ? Well, if you feel that way, then that is what you are, learn to be happy about your melancholic state of mind :) it is something to be proud of.
Do you like singing ? Go to karaoke by yourself. Do you like SEX !? Hahah, just have sex already, pay a decent prostitute. Do you want love ... ?
We all do, we need it to feel that we are here, to feel that someone cares. Don't you care about yourself, do you really need others to love you ? Instead of you loving yourself ? As someone once said, masturbating is making love with the person we love the most in the whole world. Do you understand this ?
If you really really feel useless... Then numb your mind, and feel instead. Pick the clothes you feel like instead of the appropriate ones, eat the food you want to eat instead of saying which is best (BEWARE NOT TO FATTEN THAT MAY LEAD TO ANOTHER ISSUE ;__; don't want to be blamed for people getting fat) :P
In any case, I love you, same as many people in here love me, same as I love them. People are here trying to help out, because we care, because we relate, everyone has their rotten bits, and we are here to help each other. This is love.
All that is left now, is for you to love yourself, and to feel.
GOSH, THIS SOUNDED SO CORNY.
What keeps me going? That's an interesting question.
Whenever I think about the future, I get depressed. I can see myself the next few years single, uninspired and under the tight rule of my parents. I have an overwhelming urge to escape. Travel the world with a couple of friends and virtually live life to the fullest. But I've acknowledged that will never happen, and I know better than to hope for a miracle. I've been disappointed so many people (including my parents), so many times, that I've learnt to expect the worst and be grateful for the little things.
Now how does someone like me keep going? I think it helps when you take everything in small steps. Instead of looking at my future and the bigger picture, I try to make the most of each day instead. Or if that's still too big, I'd find something worthwhile to do in the next hour instead. Like washing the dishes, cleaning the rooms. As corny as it sounds, chores can be very therapeutic. Alternatively you could start growing a plant (indoors or outdoors). You can get a lot of satisfaction from gardening. I think it's something to do with realising that it was your own two hands that created new life. Or take up a recreational kind of sport. Great stress reliever. But I guess what I'm getting at is that don't think big. Start small, and then before you know it, you've achieved some big ass goals. Ripples are followed by waves? Or something like that..
>>6
From how you've described your situation, it seems that you're in a similar situation to a friend of mine. The girl, after high school graduation, moved to California to live with her estranged father who, in the past, tried to buy her affection and could do so during school holidays from several thousand miles away. When she arrived at his house, she found it unstructured and financially unstable (as well as emotionally unsettling), ultimately unable to succeed there and being forced to move back in with her overbearing stepfather and mother who had little faith in her ability to do well away from them anyhow.
However? She became motivated to PROVE THEM WRONG. Whereas she nearly failed out of high school on multiple counts and did poorly at the community college near her father's house, she is excelling at the community college she attends presently, got the tutoring and help necessary on her own, retook college entrance exams, and made her OWN decision to apply to transfer to a great college. Revenge and spite are not the greatest things to derive motivation from in the long run, but wanting to show a faithless friend or pair of parents that you are capable and strong can be a strong push. I know a combination of that and some past regrets of not working as hard as I could have now prompt me to do well at university.
It seems that your parents tore down your self-confidence in trying to push you to do BETTER; to do more. Establishing independence from them, as proven by my friend, may be the best thing for your personal growth, although the small steps you take now are quite admirable.
...And I totally didn't mean to sage that. Damn cookies.
>>1
I read, watch movies, play game, go to the theater to found new ideas.
Or I walk several hours to think.
Man, I'm lazy.
I'm so lazy I don't want to do anything.
I don't even want to mow the lawn. I'm just going to let it grow into a jungle and forget about it. Maybe it'll go away if I don't think about it too hard...