in b4 kill yourself, underage b7, gtfo emofag.

I'm a sophmore in highschool, and I think I may have bipolar disorder. Ever since I was in seventh or eight grade, I'd have quick episodes where I'd get really depressed, would lock myself in my room, wanted to kill myself, etc. They stopped for about a year, and I figured I was just a stupid kid and grew out of it. I didn't even think that I might be manic-depressive until my mother said she feared I was a month or two ago.

Which brings me to where I am now; I think I'm having an episode, this one has been dragging on for about a month. I've been doing really badly in school and at first I tried to do better, but now I feel apathetic and started staying home to avoid it. I have really no social life at all outside of the internet and nothing on or outside of it brings me joy. I'll have hours where I'll sit around and cry with nothing really causing it.

Since 4-ch isn't my personal livejournal, this brings me to my question: how do I get help? I'd talk to my mom about how I'm feeling, but she thinks mental disorders are shameful (she used to use sending me to a shrink as a threat in the past) and I don't want to make her mad. My dad isn't home very often due to work, and I have an older brother but he wouldn't care that my brain is all fucked up. Is there some free clinic I could go to where they'd prescribe me something? I'm really at a loss of what to do.