family issues (7)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2007-10-23 10:36 ID:k11evYLb

ok heres the jist of things..

we all have mothers right? we all know how they are and how they treat their kids, or teenagers or whatever. the usual nagging, not much to worry about. however over the past couple of years for me i got fed up with it. it just became constant for no apparent reason. no matter what i have done, no matter what good things i do, mum just cant stop looking past my dirty room, my lack of motivation to clean the house or cook a meal and said that i didnt contribute. since then this nagging grew and grew until i moved downstairs to get away from her. that worked.. only for a while, then it started happening again, then because i always have my computer on with irc open or 4chan or whatever, even school/uni/college stuff she immediately assumes im not doing work. im a fucking A/B student and she says that i do no work. i topped the state for japanese and she says i do no work. i do all of this, and manage having 2 part time jobs on top of all my studies. to shut her up about that i simply stopped telling her what im studying and what assignments and exams i have.

that unfortunately in the end has made it worse, because now she doesnt know what i do when shes not around, when she looks at my room, my clothes and my fashion sense (slightly emo, but not really, just not the usual bright colors that make your eyes bleed) she sees a failure. only about 10 minutes ago she called me a "failure", and wished for another son. i really dont know how to respond to this.

lately any of our short-lived conversations usually end up in some sort of fight, and only last about 5 mins max. they usually just consist of nagging anyway. its gotten to the point where i automatically assume shes going to nag me and i just avoid the conversation. all she has to say nowadays is "we dont communicate blah blah blah your living like shit, how can you live with yourself".

shes also concerned about me not having a girlfriend, as i have never really told her about the 3 girlfriends i have had in the past that were boring anyway. she thinks im on drugs now (which im not) and i dont know what to do. this is really getting out of hand. to be told that im a failure and that she wants a different son has really bugged me considering im an only-child and she is a single parent (my father left us when i was an infant and we havent heard from him since).

so yeah, not feeling too good right now.. what can i do to make this situation right?

2 Name: ureikun : 2007-10-23 11:13 ID:+nvIbK54

I have a question for you, are you white or asian? being asian myself, my parents are constantly putting pressure on me to do well and even if I do well, I'm always compared to those that does better.. so I feel worse. Just make enough, save up, and move out to an apartment then visit your parents from time to time.

Anyways, I wish you luck

3 Name: Anonymous : 2007-10-23 11:43 ID:kUZxyD5z

Keep your room tidy. Because otherwise women are going to constantly nag you about it when you get older. Other than that I suppose you could try and argue back at her when she says you're a failure you could list your acheivements (Topping the state for japanese is pretty big, and holding down 2 jobs as well as scoring so high)

Just sounds a bit like your mother is taking out her frustration on you. What's her life like?

4 Name: Anonymous : 2007-10-23 11:55 ID:k11evYLb

>>2 im white but ive heard that about asians too.

>>3 her life is fine, shes pretty happy most of the time. i think she cant handle the fact that ive distanced myself from her

5 Name: Anonymous : 2007-10-23 13:42 ID:X/gUbHXF

I'm sort of in a similar place, only mine's very unhappy. I've emotionally distanced myself from my parents since the third grade, too. However unlike you I became a failure, even though I was a very promising child both in science and art. Whatever you do, do not listen to your mother. If you start believing that maybe maybe there is some grain of truth in what she says, it will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because instead of acting as you should, you'll start to act more and more like a failure.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2007-10-23 21:44 ID:Wr1NV8OO

sometimes all it takes is to sit down and explain your concerns. this may be hard but it sounds like you have a tough time anyway. it should help in the long run.

7 Name: nanashi774 : 2007-11-02 06:08 ID:Rg1rAz8w

wow no clue how to help but i wish you luck. there's probably no pleasing someone like that. probably, her parents were like that too and she's mindlessly parroting what they did. i guess just put up with it the best you can then revel in your freedom when you get a place of your own. ...and put her in a home when she's old and crotchety. xD

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