What makes life as a real person (as opposed to recluse) any better, anyway? I've started trying to go back and fix things but it's just not rewarding and there are no long term benefits I seriously look forward to. If anything, going back made things worse - it made me realize I'm far behind pretty much everyone in this race-for-whatever-it-is and I obviously couldn't recover any previous position I might have had even if I developed the urge to do it from this newborn, growing inferiority complex, because I can't go back in time.
Waking up with no prospects of having forced tasks to be done was so awesome; I never grew tired of it. Sometimes I thought this lack of need for achievement might have been my problem, but it seems more like people just say it to make themselves feel better for wasting their life on RL grindan. This inferiority complex seems to be making my interest in achievement grow - but I don't want it to develop when I think about it rationally: there will never be the kind of reward which I could look for, which would be a lack of worries - this being indirectly antagonic to achievement makes happiness with this lifestyle impossible.
Probably sex.
>>1 Socializing really isn't as rewarding as having complete freedom, is it? Friends just bring drama, responsibilities bring stress. Peace can only be achieved by being alone. It's nice to have a brief change now and then, but ultimately going back to your originally lifestyle. If you're happy as a recluse, don't force yourself to be anything else.
Try doing some volunteer work.
Until I stopped being a dependent recluse, I always took time for granted. Every day would be the same old lethargic routine; games, anime, the occasional meal. It was certainly an easy life, but it made me a terribly boring person, who never really "lived" life. All my friends had gotten jobs way before I did, and I'd always hate them for it when they changed/cancelled our meeting plans.
At the moment, I have a job. I have a car. I have even more friends. I realise that I am starting to develop a greater appreciation for things that I would normally take for granted. Time, being one of them. I find that I waste less time, and make each second more valuable. Even in my free time, when I'm not all-out relaxing from work, I'm using it productively (like picking up new skills, taking an interest in world affairs, volunteer work, and even growing vegetables). All out of my own free will. Even my chores are done quicker. It's all about rhythm. You just need to start that trickle, and soon enough you'll get a waterfall effect.
You have to realise that you can't grow as a person if you don't have worries in your life.