I think my family is a mess but i'm not sure if i'm being overly "emo" or not. every family will have their own problem i just want to know if mine is any worse then normal family (i'll try to keep this short).
My mother is very controlling, she keep a spare key to my room to check/ rearrange it when i'm gone. Ripping out my poster coz she doesnt like em etc. She keep comparing me to other people because i flunk out of uni she said i'm a disappointment and want to just disappear because of the shame shes been saying this for about 4 years. whenever i try to confront her she would lock up in her room and cry about it.
My father is very moody he would get angry for random stuff and often mention about wanting to die because hes too tired with life (providing for the family and stuff)
Both of them always tell me about how bad the other person is and how they might get divorce in the future when our financial problem is sorted out. I'm somewhat lucky because things weren't so bad when i was young but my adopted sister grew up in troublesome time and she ended up having some mental problem like self multilation etc. She probably overheard my dad regret adopting her a lot .
Is these situation normal? i tried telling my friend but his response was "mine is not much better just try and deal with it."
Obviously you're not in domestic bliss, but there's really no such thing as a 'normal' family. Even if they seem perfect and rosy, every family has skeletons in the closet. Many bad things can happen in families, and what you've mentioned is very toxic, but still far from being the worst family situation in the world.
You certainly aren't being 'emo', you have genuine conflict and stress like the rest of us.
Your mother:
It's common for parents check they're children's rooms, but it's not right that she doesn't respect your privacy and property at your age.
She might be suffering from depression.
Your father:
He's most certainly suffering from depression.
Your sister:
I think you already know this.
Based on your environment and assuming also you are the biological child of your parents, it's very likely you could be affected by this too, currently or later in life.
Therapy or family counselling might help, and I recommend you get that help before you and yours situations get worse.
Self care first, then diagnose your family (actually, just talk to a counselor, about your needs instead.) You can't force others to change their behaviour long term, all you can do is affect your own fate. Be safe, stay strong, and good luck! ^_^
>>2
don't diagnose over the internet, faggot. go back to studying psychology.
>>1
how do you parents look at the family situation? do they recognize a problem? if you all agree there's a problem, and you're all willing to better the situation, then yes, a group therapist could probably help.
of course, in the likely case this won't happen, have you any prospects of moving out? it's the most pragmatic solution to your problem. i'd say, instead of pumping money in individual therapy or shit like that, save it to get a cheap appartment somewhere.
>>1 wtf if your in uni then im assuming your old enough to buy alcohol and thus are considered to be an adult. tell your mum to fuck off out of YOUR room, you are not a child and you decide what you want to do now. If she throws another poster out flip your dick out and whack that bitch across the face. It is YOUR poster, not hers. How would she like it ifyou went into her room and threw out a photo or painting?
If your dad is infact suicidal then talk about him about getting help.
tl;dr: get a job, and move out.
I think many families are happier than yours, and unfortunately some are worse. So I don't think you need to dispair. It's not so much that other families do not have problems, but rather that they have a more positive attitude.
Of everything you mentioned, I don't think there is much you can do, just to your best, and that will already make a difference. You are part of the family, after all,...
Every family I know seems to have really fucked up problems. lol
My Family do admit that we all have problem (including me) but theraphy and moving out is not currently an option for me. we are in real bad financial situation to the extent that we have to consider the cost of our daily meal. minimum wage is here is like about $100 and uni graduate get like $200 a month. i did make some money with internet trading before but parents made me stop it because its not "real" job.
> don't diagnose over the internet, faggot. go back to studying psychology.
Getting real help was expressly stated in my post, as well as in the bolded disclaimer at the top of this board.
I would like to recommend that you learn to read over the internet, and internet-diagnose you as being a dick.
>>8
Is there any government aid, charities or even churches that could possibly help you or your family out?
well. i think i should just end this thread here lots of people have worse life and family then me and i guess i just needed to vent. i'll just buckle up and deal with it. thanks for the comments
I think you are misinterpreting people's reaction,... First of all, what do you really want? A sympathetic hear? Suggestions about what to do? It's not very clear.
It's obvious there are issues in your family, and probably the heart of the question is the alienation between your parents. There is probably not much you can do about that, unfortunatelly. Your parents are adults, they have to sort out their issues by themselves. The only thing you can do is to have a positive attitude towards them (and positive attitude does not mean that you accept everything from them).
Personally, I think the most worrisome is your sister situation. I think it would be really good if you could be someone she can talk to and rely on. You could also think about how to make your father realise how much he's hurting her, but once again this does not depend only on you, so don't take it personally if you fail.