I just found out that my best friend of several years has been using drugs for the past few months. Our friendship, though online, has always been wonderful, but lately he's been acting so different.
Ever since he graduated a few months ago, he's begun going to parties and using drugs. I'm assuming it's not just weed, either, as he even refused to tell me what kind of drugs he's using. He knows where I stand on drug use; that I hate it. I spent a while asking him what the hell he's doing. We've always been the Anti-Drug Buddies, or something like that. We sit there and mock how silly and foolish people who use drugs are. And now, he's doing this, and said "I just happen to use drugs. Everything is okay." word for word! If this were any other person, I would dump the friendship, but this is someone that I care about very deeply. What can I do to help him? Is there any way I can convince him to stop, or should I just give up on him and watch him kill himself?
Drugs don't kill people. Stupid people kill themselves. There are plenty of ways to enjoy recreational drugs sensibly and responsibly, just like alcohol. (In fact, alcohol is a recreational drug in most contexts.)
Instead of a "Don't do drugs, they'll hurt you!" attitude, try to be more understanding. Convince your friend to set a limit, make sure he's educated about the drugs he uses and drug use in general, make sure that if he ever feels that he's addicted, he talks to someone about it or tries to get help, and most of all, make sure that you make it clear you support his decisions on how to live his life. There's nothing worse than having a friend that you feel doesn't understand you, especially if that person could be a pillar of support if you ever get yourself in a bad way.
It would be sad if you lost a friend, but it would be much sadder if you find out he's dead three years after you broke it off with him, just because you weren't willing to be there for him, even if you don't agree with everything he's doing.
And as for personality change, it happens. Just like rivers, you can't step into the same one twice. But friendships, really good ones, are always supposed to be there.
I suggest you read up on drugs and drug use yourself, and not from just one side. The foremost drug community and knowledge resource on the web is easily erowid.org. If you are educated and understanding, you can help your friend to become educated, and therefore safer.
I also implore you, on a personal note, to please abandon the "Drugs will ruin your life," standpoint. As I've said earlier, there are many responsible ways to enjoy drugs. Moderation, damage control, and education are all very important to responsible drug use, and if properly implemented, can reduce bad happenings drastically. It's just a shame we live in a culture where such preventions cannot take place.
If you've got any questions or comments, feel free to respond, and I'll try to take care of them the best I can.
I use drugs responsibly although there were times in the past where this certainly wasn't the case. At those times, my friends were good enough to tell me that I was going over the edge, and although their efforts were in vain, I still thank them for it all the time (at a point the supply ran out, and since the stuff wasn't physically addicting I simply stopped using it at that point.)
Anyway the universe is crueller than you think. I use plenty of drugs even now and just over a year ago my best friend died unexpectedly due to completely natural causes. Which is to say that drugs don't kill people, chance kills people.
Trying to convince him to stop probably would have no effect other than upsetting your friendship. He obviously knows all about it, and probably is responsible and knowledgable enough to take all the precautions to reduce risks, and will know when enough is enough.
Out of all the people who go out and party and take drugs, it's only a tiny, tiny little percentage who end up ruining their lives or dying. The people who use drugs 'responsibly' are the least likely to be part of that percentage.
I think that the best way you can help your friend is by not hassling him to stop... just let him know you worry occasionaly, ask him if he's being careful with it, don't make him feel that you think badly of him for it.
What is your friend using?
If he's using hard drugs, you have an issue. If he's not, then you need to mind your own business.
Define hard. Is hard just anything extremely addictive? (In which case nicotine qualifies.) Or is it something highly illegal? (In which case the law has never been the best judge of what is actually dangerous and what isn't.)
hard = heroin, cocaine, meth
soft = weed, DXM, adderall
legality doesn't really have anything to do with it - hard drugs are more illegal because they are more dangerous. If all drugs were legal, they would still be called hard drugs. As for the law judging what is bad for people - you just have to look at a heroin/cocaine/meth addict to see that it can fuck you up big time.
It is, of course, still possible to do hard drugs without getting addicted.
Indeed, plus there are drugs the government put in the same category as heroin which are much less harmful. MDMA and many of the same family for instance, many tryptamines, etc., etc. Clearly the dangers for these are less, I mean it isn't truly possible to get addicted to MDMA in the first place, although certainly it can become a habit.
>>10
Regardless of any truth there, I think it's foolish to believe oneself beyond addiction and in complete control.
There's no shortage of addicts who refuse to admit they are completely dependant on a drug.
>>9 dxm is the shit in cough medicine hey? whats a good brand of cough medicine to drink and how much of it should i drink if i wanna trip balls off it without ODing off all the shit in the cough medicine and whatnot?
>>13
There are a fuckton nice places on the internet to look for this.
Look at erowid, for example.
There is also a *chan reputed for its drug boards. You'll find your stuff there too.
>Regardless of any truth there, I think it's foolish to believe oneself beyond addiction and in complete control.
I agree with what you're saying, but I just want to clarify that I meant more that if you do a line of cocaine you are not instantly going to sell everything you own (including your self respect) to get more and more. People do heroin recreationally (not sure if that's really the right word), but yes it is then much easier to slip into addiction and denial of that addiction.
Some people can get hooked from the first try.
Heroin definitely is one of those drugs, and I wouldn't recommend anyone test themselves with it.
dunno about coke
>>16
I tried heroin once, only once, in 1998. Thought it was fucking stupid, actually.
I wasn't hooked, but regardless -given the risk of disease (as well as addiction) it's a great drug to stay the fuck away from. (then again -aren't they all?)
I haven't tried heroin but I've tried a bunch of other opiates to see if any of them were any good, and I never really had any fun. I mean if I want to be buzzed and knocked out, there are cheaper ways to go about it.
Coke is boring too. It's like being sober but macho about it. Speed gives me almost the same effect minus the macho. I don't find myself getting addicted to speed either, although if you take it for half a day straight you do tend to use the rest of your supply immediately afterwards. I dunno if I would call that addiction since when I ran out I just said "meh, too much trouble. Time to sleep."
Ketamine was a real problem for me though. I took too much too often and was definintely addicted. Although again, when it ran out I just said "oh well" and stopped.
its quite a dividing subject
ive done the "fun" drugs. MDMA, K, E, Coke and LSD and really enjoyed them but i chose my time and place specifically for the drugs im taking.
im what some may call a "pothead" smoke probebly about an ounce a month.
coke=boring. more enjoyable to get shitfaced on other substances and use coke to sober you up (i find its only worth having for this characteristic)
LSD=fun, but the media have overly hyped the affects. good for ripping at housepartys as people and events are more exciting and involving
MDMA= drum and bass/breaks/house/dance/electro all of these are great music nights to go to when you have some MDMA, dont attack dose, dont drink too much water
K=alright i guess, made me a bit squiggly for a few mins while i was coming up, but its pretty good (make sure you have a backupbuddy who isnt too shitfaced and hopefully not k'd up either, to take care of you if you K-hole
E=never again, get a better experience on mdma, feels mentally cleaner, also you dont know whats makes up the other 95% of that pill.
now thats out of the way, just let your friend do what he feels, everyone needs to find themselves at somepoint in there lives and usually drugs are involved, get over it and he will still want to keep your square ass around
Technically E = MDMA but I know what you're saying. MDMA pills are pretty impure for the most part. The sad thing is that the powder isn't economical.
If I can get 2C-I, which for me is more fun in the first place, for around $20 per dose, then why is the average MDMA price more like $40 just for the shitty pills, and even more for the powder. Ridiculous.
The correct term for recreational heroin use without addiction is chipping. It's actually quite easy to remain non-addicted to opiates provided you set limits to your use and stick to them.
DRUGS R BAD
>2
should have ended this thread. Thinking that drugs are bad is a social construct based on the thoughts of religious retards, and cotton lobbies. Drugs aren't dangerous, but making drug users desperate is. In fact, it has been proven that giving help to people who abuse them, rather than just use them is much more effective than the bullshit that is shoved down your throat from grade 1.
TL;DR stay friends, help him if he gets in trouble, stop being so uptight.
> Thinking that drugs are bad (is incorrect)
True. They lie outside any moral judgement.
> Drugs aren't dangerous
False. If you are going to get high, you absolutely need to recognize the inherent dangers of possible long-term damage to your body/mind, deadliness of mixing drugs, possibility of addiction, and most importantly your own human mortality and fallibility.