it is 5:40 in the morning and I can't sleep because of relationship issues. is anyone else awake? what troubles you so much you are still awake? (looking at porn doesn't count as trouble)
It's 5PM, but I haven't had a real night of sleep since almost 2 weeks. Relationship issues. Love a girl like a madman, girl likes a friend, friend knows I love her and won't do anything (or so he says, but I fell I can trust him). Everyone is sad. This situation sucks hard.
I couldn't sleep until 5:30 am, relationship issues too.
I love a girl, but she only sees me as a friend T.T
Also trouble sleeping (awake until 4:30 am), but in my case it's a case of anime overdose,... Guess I'm lucky ^_^
Anime overdose? I have had that. It was both terrible and yet entertaining.
alcohol helps me sleep.
I'm thinking i'm gonna be doing that too- any suggestions for a guy on a budget?
>>I thought getting a girlfriend would solve all the loneliness, all it did was provide me with companionship, sex and someone to talk to when there's nothing to do. I love her, but there's just some things real friends can give that a lover can't.
There's some truth to this. Sometimes guys who deal with alot of loneliness in their lives feel as though a girlfriend will magically cure their problems but this isn't the case. If you can manage the social skills though to find a girlfriend then you should be able to make friends eventually.
>>Today a friend messaged me and asked me if I'd like to go out with 'them'. I said 'sure but who else is gonna come along?' Wanna know? It's gonna be him, his friends and his girlfriends. What am I gonna bring together? My cat? I don't think I am gonna go now.
I've had that feeling of being a fifth wheel before. It either reminded me of not having a real relationship or left me with the general feeling that I was intruding on another couples time with each other. After awhile though I started to realize this outlook was somewhat irrational. They're your friends right? Why is it so wrong to hang out with them when they're with their girlfriend? As >>7 pointed out, just because someone is in a relationship doesn't mean that they don't need their friends anymore. Also, if it's the case that you don't want to hang out with your friends because they're with their significant others and it reminds you of not being in a relationship then you could ultimately be cutting away your most important social support network. Your friend invited you but if you don't go over something like this you'll only find yourself becoming more withdrawn.
I was alot like the op until I made an evaluation of myself about 4 or 5 years ago. When I was in high school I had few or no friends, no self-confidence, no motivation, was terrified of social interaction especially with the opposite sex and spent most of my free time with anime and games. When I came to university I was hundreds of miles away with not a single friend or acquaintance in the world. It was then that I really realized my life was miserable, that I should make a conscious decision to craft a few key personal changes. First, I decided that when I got to college I would get involved with student organizations and campus groups to build up a network of friends. In high school I had never really done anything remotely extracurricular and as a consequence I never had any opportunity to meet people with similar interests. I ended up joining the campus anime club since it's what I was most comfortable with anyways. The second big change I made was to try to cease with all the negative thinking I had about myself. This was hard since in the last few years I've realized I most likely have some sort of depression fueling my self-confidence issues but I reasoned that I was decently intelligent and just as functional as the next person under the right circumstances. At the very least I acknowledged that constantly beating myself was unproductive. These two changes have really improved my overall quality of life. I have plenty of friends, am in charge of the campus anime club and have a girlfriend. I still love anime and games but instead of feeling protective of my hobbies as a secret I have the confidence to say that these are the activities I truly enjoy, and if anyone else doesn't like it then that's their problem.
Op, if your school doesn't have student orgs then there is likely some group in your community where people your age with similar interests gather. If you hang out long enough you should make friends rather easily. Also, don't put a massive amount of thought into interacting with people, just try to act naturally and don't be something you're not. You have most of the basic tools everyone else is born with, there's no reason why you can't have a social life if that's what you want.
getting friends isn't a problem with me. I'm the guy that nobody dislikes and everyone is friends with. I have a large social network- heck I run one of the clubs i'm a part of at school. it's just this problem i'm having with this girl that's all
>>7
Cheap wine, cheap rhum, cheap vodka.
Everyone has an alcohol that gets them to sleep, instead of other effects.
But seriously, I don't advice this. You'll feel like crap, even if it helps for the first days.
Truth. Sure, alcohol is great for sleep, but if you're on a budget you'll be stuck buying cheap beer/liquor/beer which always leads to hangovers in the morning.
>>11
Actually, I wasn't talking about the hangover, rather the guilt. But sure, hangovers can be nasty, too (cheap rhum = incredible headaches).
>>7
whisky makes me sleepy, but different drinks for different folks. its a trial and error thing.
>>12
what guilt do you mean?
i couldn't sleep tonight either and work is only in an hour or two so tonight i can't drink. though today the heartache is especially bad. God I just need to get through this and wait until I can get a grip on everything again- then i'll be ok I hope
>>14
The guilt that you are having trouble and looking away through 'hard' means, instead of doing something constructive. You'll tell yourself, "okay, enough, drinking solves it, I'm nothing good, blahblah, thing". Not everyone reacts like this, but it's a common psychological trap.
Force yourself into doing something, seriously. Sports, music, writing, whatever. Sleeping through drinking is okay from times to times, and might even be fun, but do it when you're down and you might even develop an addiction.
And this is not what you want. Also, it makes you even more of a loser. And I know what I'm talking about, trust me.
I use to get drunk to go to sleep. Almost every night. Very bad period of my life, and sleeplessness was a symptom of much larger mental health issues I was having.
"Having trouble getting to sleep" may be symptomatic of a much deeper problem. If it persists, a doctor or a therapist would be in order.
Also: melatonin pills. Non addictive, take two hours before you want to sleep, set a LOUD alarm clock near your bed for when you want to wake.
Also: get the fuck off the computer if it's past midnight!
I sit and look at the roof at night, until curly shapes start appearing (like the twisty face tool in photoshop), then I get freaked out, but feel calmer at the same time and go to sleep.
>>17
You wait 'til pedophiles appear on your roof? Strange idea.
For learning to sleep without the aid of drugs, I'd suggest using your bed only for sleeping (and sex).
Don't watch TV or read in bed, and your body will get used to the bed=sleep thing.
For drugs:
Tryptophan.
Yes, that's the stuff in turkey, but there's really not enough of it in turkey to cause any effect.
Get in it dietary supplement form.