I'm 17 and I'm too scared to sleep alone. Even though I have my own room I've been sleeping with my sibling's in their rooms ever since I was younger. My brother moved out a couple years ago and now my sister's planning to move out by the summer, so I have to get over this fear soon or else I don't know what I'm going to do, and I definately don't want to sleep in my parent's room.
It's ridiculous how scared I am. I'm too scared to even close my eyes while I wash my face, and some nights I get so scared I have to sleep in the same bed with someone else. I know it's all in my head and I've tried so hard to get over this, but I just can't.
I think this phobia started when I was about 4 or 5 years old. This girl who lived next door used to babysit me and sometimes she would lock me in a room by myself and leave a scary movie on. She would also tell me about all these different ghost stories and how my house was haunted. She would even have her friends put on different scary costumes and scare me. I have no idea why she did those things but it was fucked up and I hate her for doing it.
All I know is that I just want to not be scared anymore. My whole family teases me about and it really kills me inside. They all see me as a kid even though I'm turning 18 soon. Only a couple of my friends know about this but luckily they don't really think much of it. I don't know how I'm going to get on with my life if I'm scared of the dark. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get over this fear?
I think the best way to deal with this is to try systematic desensitization, you can try self-administering it.
This is a helpful link http://www.guidetopsychology.com/sysden.htm
Don't feel bad about having this phobia, it is clearly not your fault, it is a completely understandable reaction to the situation you were placed in by that babysitter.
If systematic desensitisation is to stressful, you could try positive reinforcement; try finding some music or doing something that makes you feel comfortable or relaxed, and when you're feeling good move into a dark room without thinking about it. Don't set a time to move or you will just become apprehensive as the deadline comes, just move when you feel happy. You should get at least a short period (if you do the move 'properly' without thinking hard about it) where the good feelings linger in the dark, which over time can build more desirable associations. Its comparatively slow, but gentler than just forcing yourself to go in a dark room arbitrarily. If the thing you pick is music it has the benefit you can keep listening in the dark, or listen at progressively lower light levels (you would need to lower them slowly, like over a course of weeks)
It sounds like you are OK with being in the dark as long as ther is someone else with you, in which case there could be a few other options - is this an accurate assumption?
Why not try a token economy situation? If you make it a few hours, or make it a night, then reward yourself with something you really like (although, obviously not having someone else in the room!).
Also you can try spending small amounts of time by yourself to help you work up to spleeping alone. Try five minutes, 15 minutes, 30 minutes, and hour... just keep trying. Or, if you need to start even more slowly, get someone on the phone and have them talk to you for awhile, and then try and hang up for a few minutes and go from there.
You don't have to be embarrassed about this. Just do your best to get over it if you don't like it, and don't listen to the teasing.
Good luck~!!!
Lots of people have irrational fears; you're not alone in this or the treatment from your family.
If you feel you can talk to your parents about this, tell them you don't appreciate the teasing and treatment.
Or you could be passive aggressive and scare your family members with what they fear the most, then laugh about it.
What is it that's actually scary?
The darkness or the alone?
> don't listen to the teasing.
Easier said than done. Much easier.
Warm electric blanket might help. Comfortable and somewhat similar to body heat. Then just slowly desensitize yourself.
You described my fear exactly. My boyfriend asked me if I was sure I hadn't written the post. Let me know if any of the above work for you. I would love to get in touch and share our fear. Maybe it'll help knowing someone who finally understands. My parents think I may have had a babysitter as well who scared me. They tried to make me obedient by telling me a ghost or monster would come out of the dark if I didn't behave. I think my father also exposed me to scary movies at a young age.
This week I'm going to try to go to speak to a psychologist. I don't really know what I'm going to say, but hopefully she'll be able to offer some advice.
Thanks for sharing your fear. It's nice knowing I'm not the only one.
Aside from the real solutions provided by just about anyone here, I have a quick and dirty crutch to help you cope in the beginning.
Put a lock on your door, a good one. Close it. Now you are alone in the room. You are safe. There is a lock on the door which only you control. You can get out but no one can get in. Safe.
This feeling of safety and control will probably help.
I'm an aged Hikikomori and this is how I sleep. The world has tormented me enough my friend. There's a good lock on my strong door and my razor sharp Wakizashi sword is in reach.
I sleep like a baby.
They do come out at night though, ghosts and stuff. The other day I was half asleep and looked up and saw what looked like the outline of a human body on the ceiling. In the morning it wasn't there at all though.
I used to have this problem. I got fucking pissed off, so I started challenging myself. I went out for walks in the middle of the night, and whenever I felt fear of something coming over me, I just said silently to myself; bring it on motherfucker! And I would stare into the eyes of my fear and refuse to look away.
I'd also sit alone in the house in the dark and do the same thing. If I ever felt as there was a frightening prescence anywhere, I'd go there and look, just sit it out until it went away.
I still get scared sometimes, but I can just brush it off, realizing that there is nothing out there.
>>10
lol
I once woke up in the middle of the night, and I heard a little girl crying in the bathroom. First I thought it was my little sister, but I knew I was alone in the house. So I said "come out", then the crying stopped abruptly, and I heard someone walking towards me from the bathroom, but there were no steps on the floor, just the brushing of clothes. The walking accelerated, and I could hear it was in the same room as me now but I couldn't see anything. Then the "presence" went straight into me, and I could feel like a strong electrical current rushing through my entire body, and a metallic screaming sound echoing in my head.
I was like whoah WTF! I thought hell I must still be sleeping, but I obviously was not. Pretty fucked up, but I'm sure it was some form of hallucination.
I find the dark extremely comforting, like a warm blanket.
If I can't see anyone else in a dark room, no one else can see me.
ok, i haven´t read the other posts but:
You can try to be praying to God as you go to sleep, knowing that He is there along with you.
Also trying to listen or think of some relaxing songs or hymns.
You could try to read in bed until your eyes just close by themselves.
Another tip is that you should think of other things, try not to get stressed by the thought that you can´t sleep just try to "rest for a while".
>>13
I like this idea. Also, meditating would be very helpful.
Does OP have any pets? Having a pet sleep with you and keeping a small light on might be helpful. My cat sleeps with me every night, and every time I feel like there's a "presence," I just wake him up. If he doesn't act odd, I can assume that everything is fine.
I suggest against sleeping with a weapon nearby, as you live with other people. If your father/mother came into your room to wake you up, you might become scared and attack them due to the grogginess.
Sounds like some kind of hypnagogic hallucination combined with exploding head syndrome. I get the latter, and "a strong electrical current rushing through my entire body, and a metallic screaming sound echoing in my head" does sound a bit like it. I don't get any hallucinations to go along with it, though, but apparently it does happen according to wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnogogic_hallucination
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_head_syndrome
Try sleeping with music on. If your room has windows, try covering them.
maybe one day you could find somebody to sleep with for every night for the rest of your life, or you could quit being such a pussy.
Sleep with lights on. Work from there.
I would so snuggle up with you though.
Wow i thought this was very uncommon. i'm 14 and have the same problem. my dad doesnt know how serious this is and he doesnt want to help. i take this very seriously and offensivly. everyone thinks its a load of bull, but its really not.
ive tried sleeping with the lights on but then the lonelyness comes into play. music doesnt work because it just makes me think about being alone. this is a ligdiment fear and if u can help email me at bubba286jr@aol.com
Wow i thought this was very uncommon. i'm 14 and have the same problem. my dad doesnt know how serious this is and he doesnt want to help. i take this very seriously and offensivly. everyone thinks its a load of bull, but its really not.
ive tried sleeping with the lights on but then the lonelyness comes into play. music doesnt work because it just makes me think about being alone. this is a ligdiment fear and if u can help email me at bubba286jr@aol.com
Not that it matters, but are you a guy or girl OP?
I had this problem when I was about 12. At the time I had these glow in the dark stars on my ceiling, and they were so pretty to look at that I was distracted from my fear. Also, you could try thinking about your crush. Often it puts me to sleep straight away.
Dude me too. I try waking up early so i can be really tired.
>>22
This thread is over two years old.
I wouldn't say I know exactly what the OP and others are talking about though. Is it the sensation of being watched from the darkness or a vulnerability thing? Hikikomori was vulnerability in the dark kept in check be a wakazashi, but I'd like to know more of this...