I'm so confused. I really would like some help. (23)

1 Name: Neasyorc : 2008-01-21 06:47 ID:rpR94WEt

Ok, so here's the deal. I'm a seventeen year old High schooler with very little friends. In fact I really don't think I have friends. I try to stay out of peoples ways and I stay quiet most of the time. Is it my fault that I have no friends?
And a bigger question would be do girls think shy guys are weirdos? (forgive any spelling errors)

2 Name: marucita : 2008-01-21 21:54 ID:Bpz2unDn

hi!. Well, I think everything depends on how you feel: if you´re ok with having little friends, then it´s fine. I´m a shy person too and I avoid crowds as well. I also have a few friends, but I think I´m ok with that. I don´t believe the people that have a million friends. In my opinion, special people are a few, and that are the close ones and good friends.
About the weirdos thing, it´s up to every person. I´m a girl ( a bit older than you) and I don´t think shy guys are weirdos...in fact I like them. But that´s because I´m a weirdo too! lol. Anyway, for me the word "weirdo" has a possitive connotation.
I can´t tell you what to do. Just be honest with yourself and don´t try to fit in,following the masses. We don´t have to be equal. Best wishes! :)

3 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-22 14:31 ID:zykOJhdV

Find out what you are interested in, and find and spend time with people who share your interests. Socialization should be much easier in those conditions,...

4 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-22 17:50 ID:Xv/TP6Fo

5 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-23 08:59 ID:Iu44aji9

>>4 apparently ur myspace doesn't exist

I was very quiet myself for most of my school years (i'm a guy by the way). It wasn't until I actually played sports for my high school and going to socials that changed my life. For you, however, this might be different. I think it might be because you don't want to be embarrassed by others, you try to be very modest, and that you try not to stand out. Still, however, I think you are doing fine if you have some friends. Those must be your true friends (I hope). Just know that if you still feel down and out socially, just think this: "I am like them...we are NOT ALWAYS the same, but I can be still be in a crowd like them." Not telling you to be like those people...just that if you want to be more noticeable, mingle with people inside and outside of school...it's not too late.

As for the girls thinking shy guys are weirdos...here's two examples:
1) After middle school and going to summer school, there was a hot girl that was going to the same high school as me. However, at the time, I was very timid and looked like I obeyed to my parents a lot. I was so shy that when I was by myself one time, a group of girls asked me to join them, but I just said no because I thought I would be intruding. In between classes, I would try to be close to the hot girl often (not stalking, mind you...). Finally, when the session was over, I tried to talk to her again. I guess I wasn't being myself though...not trying to change...and I ended up saying weird things like "you like the latest PS game" or "do I look funny with my glasses on?" It was never a "how are you" friendly gesture...and that was a mistake of my life.

2) High school...I was still shy up to sophomore year. I went to a dance with my friend who said he could hook me up with a girl. I didn't believe him at first...and I guess I dressed up very modest. During the dance, however, this cute girl asked me to dance. Being shy and not wanting "to arouse attention," I refused. After an hour, my friend was frustrated with me being a shy dumbass...and literally pushed me into the crowd. Immediately, I ran into the same cute girl that I met earlier, and when she said "you wanna dance," I shyly said "yes." I think after all the dancing...i lost a lot of that shyness that night...and the Monday after that, I got her number.

sorry that I talked so long about myself...but I hope this helps.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-23 09:35 ID:D67r/XIW

girls dont automatically think a guy is weird becase he is shy.
or because he is quiet, or because e wears gasses, or has some nerdy hobby, etc etc. It's combinations of these kinds of traits that make him not so attractive.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-23 10:02 ID:Iu44aji9

>>6 and that is one of the reasons why my girlfriend still stays with me. But also, I guess girls like it when guys (shy or not) are willing to stand up for them.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-23 15:26 ID:D67r/XIW

>>7 yeah, we like usually like that

9 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-24 13:16 ID:Heaven

See I'm shy, quiet, wear glasses (laser surgery has just slid into my affordable price range though!) and have some slightly nerdy hobbies.

But I also own a taser. And with a weapon, standing up for people becomes slightly easier.

10 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-25 20:23 ID:Iu44aji9

>>9 show off the taser...and you'll scare the entire male population...

11 Name: rachele : 2008-01-26 01:25 ID:BL9MixR3

there is nothing wrong with being a nerd. i married a nerd.

12 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-26 03:26 ID:ur88+BAa

I think the shy guy is kinda cute, they're more approachable for girls. But, then they usually think that we're just trying to be nice or pity them... sigh

I'm almost sixteen, and most guys around my area are wannabe gangsters. D:

13 Name: rachele : 2008-01-26 03:34 ID:4cqNhZId

yah my husband is a sweetheart. some girls are attracted to the geekier male-- at least i am anways. good luck! youll find the right person for you!

14 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-26 05:10 ID:F/0+/pJW

Find yourself a shy wannabe-gangster. That's what I did.

15 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-26 13:08 ID:Rmttl9MN

I'm shy but I have my head screwed on, so if a woman comes up to me and starts a conversation, I keep it in my mind that there is a possibility she started it because she's interested. In the larger % of cases, this has been the case, although none of them have really been my type yet. Still, it's good that some girls do initiate things instead of expecting the guy to do all the work.

16 Post deleted.

17 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-27 10:10 ID:Z2xP+TW9


18 Name: Anonynous : 2008-01-29 18:57 ID:u1LD1cAt

A friend of mine is having major breakdowns and its starting 2 worry me. so i need some advice for my friend.

19 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-30 19:10 ID:S1baMzh6

We'll need details if you want us to provide advice...

20 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-02 07:44 ID:+y0gs2WD

  1. high school sucks. people are dicks (not just the students), teenagers are chock-full of hormones, the work is pointless and stupid (i remember learning the word 'triangle' in tenth-grade study skills), and four years is a long time (especially when you've only lived for about 14). it's generally an exercise in making people miserable, and it works very well.
  2. don't be a dick I: don't insult others because you're shy, don't insult to tease (this is a million times more true if they're not teasing back), don't insult their music, don't insult their sports, don't insult their religion, don't insult their politics.
  3. don't be unnaturally shy: if you want friends, let people do things like copy your homework. no, they're not really your friends if that's all they like you for. so copy from them, too, if they're around your level.
  4. don't try to fit in. if you don't already, you never will, and nobody likes a poser. be yourself (but not a dick).
  5. don't be a dick II: if somebody brings up a topic that's important to them (hockey or religion, for example), don't say something along the lines of 'gay' and end the conversation.

21 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-02 12:14 ID:Heaven

Hockey is pretty gay though, I have to say.

22 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-02 13:43 ID:UrVVMMc/

>>1 >>20
Looking back on highschool, I think the last year was by far the most meaningful year of them all. By age 17, everyone had grown out of their attention seeking ways and basically we were very tolerant of one another. People began to develop depth in their personalities, and after four years of knowing everyone, you stop judging a book by its cover and start to notice this a little more. I guess it's also the thought of possibly not seeing each other for the rest of your life, which causes you to initiate conversations with people in your year you've never spoken to before.

In that respect, if you're a decent looking guy, that's slightly interesting but shy, the prospects of making new friends (or meeting girls) are quite favourable. The best advice is to not think about these sorts of things. Just have as much fun as you can whilst in the moment, create great memories, and keep your priorities straight. New friendships will come naturally along the way.

23 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-03 12:24 ID:Heaven

New friendships certainly did eventually come during high school for me. Girls were another story, being in a boys school sort of puts a stopper on anything like that. I ended up with one crush which I didn't end up being able to act on due to lack of time.

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