Ok, so here's the deal. I'm a seventeen year old High schooler with very little friends. In fact I really don't think I have friends. I try to stay out of peoples ways and I stay quiet most of the time. Is it my fault that I have no friends?
And a bigger question would be do girls think shy guys are weirdos? (forgive any spelling errors)
Because girls think men should be strong and forceful. It's bullshit, but that's just the way it is. Some things will never change.
You probably wouldn't' want the girls who wouldn't want you. How's that?
Most girls aren't going to go near you. Even introverted girls aren't going to be too interested because she wants the opposite of what she is.
> I try to stay out of peoples ways and I stay quiet most of the time. Is it my fault that I have no friends?
I mean, the friends aren't going to magically come to you! If you don't talk to people, how could you get to know people and get friends? Yes its probably your fault
and what do girls think? Well if you dont talk to anyone they just think you're not interested in talking to people, and that you don't want to talk to them. And they do think that is weird.
If you're a bit shy that is okay, but it looks weird though if you never talk to anyone and look like a recluse who avoids people.
Girls already have a pussy, they don't need two.
Girl here.
We don't think shy guys are weirdos. Lots of people are shy. Being shy doesn't make someone weird or unatractive.
However, as 6 stated, we already have a pussy, we don't need two. If it's not just shyness, but total push-overness, noticable lack of self confidence, shadow-begging-not-to-be-noticed kinda thing, then that's different to just being shy, it's unnatractive, and girls will not like you.
It's not that we think men should be 'strong and forceful', it's just that we tend not to find total wimps attractive.
And it's at that point - lack of self confidence, in the shadows - is where shyness tends to turn into social anxiety disorder.
Shyness is normal, most people are shy to some degree.
Build up self-esteem by finding something about yourself that you like and reminding yourself of it everyday. Know who you are, and then get to know others. It'll be easier to talk to people that way. It's not your fault if you don't have friends, it's nobody's fault. Just don't be afraid to change that.
The best way to get over extreme shyness/social anxiety disorder is to force yourself into situations where you have to speak to others.
Clean up, good hygiene, all of that, and then randomly force yourself to talk to at least 30 girls and 10 guys in one week.
Don't know what to say? Tell them you're just interested in what they think about some things or who they are, because you haven't gotten to know them. It's the truth. You ARE interested in others, even if you don't particularly care about knowing that person.
Also, don't be picky about who you talk to, but also don't aim for social losers. Furthermore, come up with some good, but relaxed questions. Don't make them all "What music do you like?", make them relevant to the person, and Do ask particular questions about things they bring up once you've started talking to them. Do Not jump into heavy subjects like religion, family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. Let those things come out.
It might be a good idea to ask where they hang out locally, and they might mention they go to X place with their friends, at which point you could ask what how they have time to do that around studying and activities. This, of course, leads into activities they're in, what classes they take, etc. Of course, you can always ask what they enjoy out of classes, activities, etc, And what they dislike, but try to stick to positives.
Finally, I'll go back to the beginning. When you introduce yourself, perhaps it'd be best to say "Hey, I'm x, and I haven't really talked to you before. I'd like to know a little bit about you. Would you mind telling me a bit about yourself now, or can we sit with your friends?"
Notice this forces them to say something beyond "yes" or "No", as all of your questions should. I aimed this one particularly at a lunchtime setting, as I assume that's when you'd have the most time to speak to someone, or a group of people.
If you don't know what others are talking about, Chillax. Just ask them to bring you up to speed, and get them talking about something they like, especially particular aspects. Don't ask for minute details, but get them into explaining to you. The more they open up and talk to you, the less odd they're likely to feel about continuing to do so. That's just how the brain works. Even if they may think ti isn't worth their time, they'll continue to do it in a number of cases.
Also, if you've seen any new movies, they're usually good, easy subjects to start with. Don't ask "Did you like x movie?", though. Ask "So when X happened, what did you think?" or "Are you the kind of person who likes X scene, or X scene? Oh? Why so?/ Yeah, I thought it was good because of x. The same thing kind of happened in y movie. What have you heard about it?"
If they're clueless about the movies, ask them about their favorites. And despite the fact that not everyone seems it, a large number of people Do still read books and such. Feel free to ask about favorite books and for the person to explain why it was meaningful to them.
Always remember to thank them for talking to you when you're parting.
These are also awesome tips for social networking of any kind.
Practice these kinds of things and your shyness will slowly fade out.
I'll end with a story. When BF Skinner realized he was shy and sucked with women, he forced himself to meet and talk at length with women, eventually asking them to go out with him, until it had become so natural to be rejected or just talk to people that he'd gotten over his fears and entered an experience zone.
Rejection isn't a 100% bad thing, so don't fear it. Learn from it and use it to your advantage.
This all is coming from someone with Social Anxiety Disorder and OCD. Trust me, it'll help.
Oh, and I'm telling you to talk to guys because you'll need to understand their perspective, and you'll need to interact with other "norm" guys in your lifetime.
And here's my final message to you: there is no "norm". Even the close clique people generally spread out after high school because their bonds aren't truly that strong, and their interests not truly so close. People change Radically after High School graduation. So, Really, don't let HS stuff get to you much.