tired of "playing by the rules" (14)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-22 06:13 ID:kZK0FaWs

have you guys ever wanted to let yourself be the way you are?
i mean, a looong time ago i acted like an asshole the whole time, i treated people like crap and cared about nothing aside for my own needs.

some time ago that changed. but now i'm starting to think its too much trouble to mince every word for fear that it'll hurt my friends. i made a normal life for myself, but its getting tiresome to mantain it. back when i was an asshole i had a lot more time to spend reading or on other cultural activities. i feel that my mind was clearer back then. now i have to worry about birthdays, feelings and stuff that i made fun off or simply ignored.

i feel like i built this castle of cards and now i'm compelled to destroy it just too see if i can be happier having a "simpler" life ignoring social conventions.
i'm not sure where i am going with this, i guess i just want to see if someone is in a similar situation.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-22 10:49 ID:CqRRurOO

I hardly ever talk to my friends about "feelings" or any of that crap. It just depends on what kind of friendship you have. If you act like its OK for people to whine to you about whatever feelings, then they will always do it. If you just have a good time with your friends then there'll be less inclination for them to confide in you for help. As for worrying about birthdays, I pretty much know nobodys birthday; it's just that when it gets close somebody will say something about going out to celebrate. All you have to do is turn up, wish the person happy birthday and get on with what you guys normally do. That's how we do it anyways.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-22 14:27 ID:w+MekVN8

Do you actually not like it the way it is now? I mean it might be bothersome for you but perhaps you like the bother deep down?

But If you really, really don't like it why can't you have the best of both worlds. Don't be an ass but subtly discourage close friendships, when people ask you to go places, half the time make yourself busy, if they talk about feelings listen but don't talk about your own, don't offer advice to problems, talk about stuff rather than shared experiences or about each other, like what books you like or whatever else.

Don't make yourself friendless, just make yourself happy with a certain level of friendship, and later, if you feel the need, you can allow them to become deeper friends or if the case may be cut them off entirely.

Though obviously you are sharing feelings here, maybe friends aren't completely out of place for you, maybe they just aren't the right friends. You might find eventually there really are people worth that extra effort.

Well, after all that, I do understand what you mean though, I often distanced myself from friends, because I really like my independence but I have a really close family, so even if I don't have close friends I am never alone.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-22 14:28 ID:dKQN68sS

To live with other people always entails tradeoffs. It's up to you to maintain a balance that is sustainable to you,... If it costs you too much to maintain a line of behavior compatible with certain relationships, then you will not manage it, and you should probably go to people that you feel more comfortable with.

For instance, some people require a lot of attention to feel happy with you, whereas others will be happy with far less involvement. You should choose company of people whose tastes are compatible with what you can naturally offer.

But at no point can you expect to get something from people without giving them back. There ain't no free lunch.

5 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-22 20:31 ID:yaOaX/WV

i'm following >>3. keeping people at a distance sounds like a good idea. maybe that'll make it easier treating them better.

6 Name: Follow this: : 2008-01-23 03:37 ID:hwVOyyoX

Do as thou wilt, harm no one.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-24 13:19 ID:Heaven

Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law, jackass.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-25 02:53 ID:VQRLhWnr

Sure, be as big of a fucking outrageous dick as you want to.

Enjoy your loneliness, and the possible ass beatings you'll receive.

9 Name: Anonymous : 2008-01-27 10:12 ID:yVfSd5E9


10 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-18 23:32 ID:zoMnKWoq


hmm I feel the same way. It's like an alternate world. Felt like I'm trying so hard to not be myself. It's not like I don't want to have friends... just sometimes I wonder why I have to deal with such things to be branded a good friend, or a friendly person, or a nice person. Why can't I just whisk around and be carefree.

I'm just more confident at doing the things I want to be doing. I don't want anything else to interfere with my goals. When comes to dealing with the normal social interaction, I won't think twice turning it down. it's tiring to accomodate every person's idea of socialising. Doing it my way and I'm happy.

It's hypocritical when they say I'll accept you for who and how you are, and on the other hand, they brand you nasty because you can't be who they want you to be.

11 Name: da PG king : 2008-02-19 00:06 ID:dHYz1Qiu

what it is is that you have raised peoples expectations...

If you started an asshole, you could still have a normal life.

12 Name: GDMFSOB : 2008-02-20 20:33 ID:PB14HMJ5

but the question is, are you happy?

13 Name: Suzy Svonson : 2008-02-20 21:33 ID:RkWnv12z

I'm 27, single and pretty darn cute. I will go out with the next person that e-mails me, male or female.


14 Name: Anonymous : 2008-02-20 22:41 ID:K3/v97wz

jesus, someone revived my month old thread. answering >>12's question, yes, i believe i am happy, or atleast happier than back when i was an asshole 24/7.

i'm still following >>3's advice about keeping people at a certain distance. as a result i am going out less often, but that's not really a bad thing.

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