Man goes to a doctor.
Says he's depressed.
Says life is harsh and cruel.
Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain.
Doctor says "treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him, that should pick you up."
The man bursts into tears "but doctor," he says.
"... I am Pagliacci."
Sums up my life.
I feel very depressed and I feel this huge hole inside me, getting bigger every morning and every night I can't sleep.
People see me as a very successful person, a happy folk.
I ain't that, and nobody understands me.
.. I don't know what I want or what replies I expect from this.
Why would people have such a far off base impression of you? It seems like it's most likely because you perpetuate that false impression by putting on a happy face and not showing your true feelings enough, if at all... otherwise why would they see you as a happy folk, of you're not one?
If that's the cause of it, I suggest changing your behavour to more accurately represent yourself. Then, you won't have the unhappiness of people thinking you're someone you're not, and you'll be closer to having people understand you.
>>2
hits the nail in the head,... By not showing your emotions, you also prevent any help, comfort and understanding that others might provide. And this you need, otherwise you would not have posted here. And it's not absolutely necessary that others understand you perfectly, often the act of opening and speaking freely already helps you a lot. Rather than understanding, I think you should look for someone who is able of listening.
Aside from that issue, there are people who feel there's nothing wrong in their life, but still fall into depression. Depression is really an illness, and sometimes you need professional help. I don't know in which state you're in, but if you feel so helpless that this starts to interfere with your daily life, and causes suicidal thoughts, you would do yourself a favor by seeking professional help.
But that's probably not the case. I suspect like 2 that you put an illusory appearance to others and probably to yourself, which prevents you from seeing and understanding your problem. This you will have to do, even if it's frightening.
ITT we fail to grasp the obvious.
>>1 is behaving as he should, by not burdening his acquaintances and cow-orders with this emo existential angst fagortry.
>>2 and >>3 should realize that sometimes the answer really is "cheer up, emo kid."
>>1, you need to get laid. Or perhaps you should take up drinking.
>>5
No one said life was easy.
Here's a quote from Drew Carey.
"'Wah wah, I hate my life. Wah wah, I hate my job.' There's a support group for that. It's called 'EVERYBODY' and it meets at the bar."
OP grasps that it's a hard cold world. OP fails to grasp that everybody else already knows that. There's nothing you can do about it, and if you dwell on it you're going to turn into an emo kid and end up posting seventeen times a day on your blog on Myspace about how you cut your wrists again because nobody likes you.
Everybody hates emo kids. OP has a responsibility to suck it up and not whine to everyone around him about how miserable he is. Everybody hates a crybaby. The only thing that's going to result from him telling everybody "his twue feewings" is that everybody's going to hate him and avoid him, because, well, did I mention that everybody hates emo kids? OP doesn't grasp that if people understood him, they'd know he's a closet emo kid. The last thing in the world anyone should want is to be understood.
Suck it up. Be a man. Go get laid or something.
Or, if that doesn't appeal, given that the OP's post consists mostly of veiled boasting about how rich and successful he is, maybe he should ponder how many million people out there would sell a kidney to have one one-hundredth of the money he has.
>>1 here
>>6
That is the most hypocritic post I've read today, although you do raise some valid points.
You however, fail to understand me as well.
Cut my wrists? Such action would signify I seek for attention.
I have all the attention I want.
I'm successful, rich (not THAT rich, but rich regardless) and an awful lot of women would kill to get to bed with me, partially for my money, but for 'me' too.
I'm not a spoiled kid, everything I have I earned the hard way.
Others have mentioned a friend, someone to talk.
Money is a curse, once you have money finding friends is really hard.
In fact, in my age it's hard to even make a friend. (mid 30s)
I'm not desperate, I don't consider suicide.
But every time I wake up, I see no reason to get off the bed.
I see back in my childhood a completely differend person.
I guess I am just disappointed. I had higher expectations back then, not for the world but myself.
>Go get laid or something.
How do people think this makes somebody into a "man"? Because he can spend a few bucks on a hooker? That's hardly what I'd call manly. Just because someone can penetrate a woman doesn't mean they have any sort of maturity or "manliness" whatsoever, and will most likely cause more problems than initially existed.
In which way have your childhood expectations not been fulfilled?
Then give up your 'success' if it's making you so unhappy.
Maybe my problem is the opposite of yours? I wish I could be more thoughtful of what my words might sound like before I actually say things. It doesn't do much damage, most of the time, but it doesn't work wonders for my ego either. Then I decided I wasn't going to talk quite so much, and I actually became quite stoic, but that got lonely really fast.
If opening up to someone around you is a scary idea, than instead of searching for a big cure-all, why not keep on posting the problems in different topic areas on 4-ch? It'll buy you a bit of freedom and time while you search for a way out of your role without dismantling your success.
"Keeping up appearances" is a form of courtesy, I've been told, but if it's unnatural then it won't last long, either.
I found an answer to my problem, when I remember to use it. I pause a minute and mentally go "GOD" a bit before I open my big mouth.