I've had this problem for a while, I'm not a 'mute' all the time but when I'm chatting online I can type away with ease, when I'm speaking to some people I have a bit of difficulty but I can spit out a word or two and when I'm on the phone or on the mic on Skype I'm as quite as a mouse.

I don't know when this began but I just can't say anything, a long time ago, this girl wanted to hear my voice so I went out and bought a headset so I could talk with her, when it was time to talk I couldn't say anything. I've even tried chatting (via Skype) with more than two people just in case I was just nervous because it was a girl, but alas I still couldn't say anything.

Since then the friendship with the aforementioned girl (which I'll call A from now on) took a tumble down a hill. I've promised her so many times that I'd say something, I've sometimes made excuses as to why I couldn't. For a while she was really patient and waited, one time she even begged me just to say "Hello", I've tried so many times but I can't say it.

We still talk every now and then, but the last time I had a (long) chat with her was back in September. It's not just A, but my friendship with other people too. Before all of this happened, at some point we were e-boyfriend/girlfriend. Nothing serious it was just for fun, she used to tell me she loved me all the time and then one day she stopped, it didn't bother me much because <i>it was just for fun</i> but now she has a boyfriend, and to be honest I'm rather jealous.

I feel like I've done something wrong, when ever we do have chats, regardless of how short they are she doesn't seem very interested (even before the boyfriend came along). What the fuck am I doing? I don't really expect anyone to reply I'm just ranting but I don't know why the fuck I care so much.

tl;dr version:
I'm so ronrey.