I want to explore my spirituality again (19)

1 Name: Chou : 2008-03-18 03:16 ID:4w+zZdto

I studied Buddhism for a little while and had gotten really into it until my father shuned me and thought I was going against God and worshipping 'some fat bald guy', which isn't what Buddhism is about at all. I was really hurt by his insensitivity and stopped concentrating on my spirituality and moved on with my life, until recently when I discovered a Buddhist center near my town. I want to go, but the only times that I can go are at 7:30 to 9 at night or on Sundays. Now that I look back, I realised that I should have corrected my father's ignorance, but I didn't and I may never have the chance to, but I still want to try and connect with my spiritual side without going behind my dad's back. I may be able to get my mother's support, but they hardly ever talk anymore without agruing, it'd be difficult to level with him.

tl;dr I want to become Buddhist; my Dad won't let me because he's really religious, is there anyway I can convince him that I actually want to become a spiritual person and there's more then one way of doing this.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-18 07:06 ID:1QDRAwBG

The problem is that your father has no right to control your religion, and there's no way around that. So I suggest you never mention spiritual/religious issues with him,... Use the don't ask, don't tell policy.

You are hoping to change his religious views, he does not want that. Forget it, and live your own life,...

3 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-18 08:29 ID:eVq8thMH

Why do you need his support?

4 Name: Chou : 2008-03-18 09:02 ID:4w+zZdto

I don't hope to change his religious views at all, he could believe in the FSM or an Invisible Pink Unicorn for all I care. I just want him to be more tolerant of mine.

Because I am a minor and in the custody of my father, his opinion wouldn't matter if I weren't. We been through this whole thing before and he shot me down before I had a chance to defend my views, just because he was older then me and knew better blahblahblahblahblah... I'm not too suprised though, a large part of my family thinks anything non Christian is a cult. Imaginr what they'd think if they saw me reading up on Wiccs.

5 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-18 09:29 ID:8PG5fG7b

You don't have to be Buddhist to be spiritual. Christianity, or any religion, can be spiritual if you interpret it that way. Or have no religious belief and still be spiritual. What's telling here is that you've chosen Buddhism because you've projected what you think spirituality is onto it, and that association is completely arbitrary.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-18 10:09 ID:DSz//fEX

It's because of his religious views that he is intolerant. Like you say, it's a prevalent religious view in your family. To have him becoming more tolerant would mean changing his religious views, no matter how you put it.

It think it's pointless to nitpick around the spirituality word. He is interested in other religions than Christian, I think we got his point,...

7 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-19 00:33 ID:eVq8thMH

So what exactly is he objecting to?

Because you can do that in your room without anyone knowing about it.

Of course if you want to seek out other Buddhists for group meditation or sutra chanting/prayer, than obviously his objections might be problematic.

My best guess is don't make an enemy of your father, you're young, you'll be free of him soon enough, until then, rigorous meditation practice is about as good a Buddhist education as you can hope to get.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-19 00:36 ID:eVq8thMH

lol words like "connect with my spiritual side" would earn you a beating in a good Rinzai school.

9 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-20 18:04 ID:bHm4M8Eo

You can only be patient with your father. In the book "Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life", the chapter "Relying on Patients" - "We should also prevent anger arising toward anyone whom might harm our spiritual guide, our friends, or our relatives. By seeing such harm also occurs in dependence on conditions [these conditions being illusions]... Embodied beings are harms by both inanimate and animate objects; So why become angry with only animate ones? We should be patient with both types of harm" Passages 65 and 66 on page 85. I would highly recommend picking up this book for your study of Buddhism. After my trip to Japan I became interested with Buddhism but I am not true to the path yet. I still get angry at these illusions created by myself. This angry just consumes me. I get angry at society, people, et cetera for stupid reasons. I can only be patient and meditate on my thoughts. You must be patient with the people who show hate and become angry at you. This is all you can do in order to achieve inner peace and bring that peace to others or you and the others will be stuck in samsara.

10 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-20 19:47 ID:urEJZzoW

"Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...and Spring"

11 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-20 19:54 ID:Heaven

Try holding in your shit until the delusion of God is reached.

12 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-21 13:04 ID:fxm1O2Gs

Alternatively, put your head up your ass as well, until you can no longer tolerate differences of opinion.

13 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-22 19:36 ID:goEPGXub

Solution: Be Buddhist, but don't make it an issue with your family, at least not until you've moved out. There's no reason they need to know what you identify as.

14 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-22 22:30 ID:otcSoCk4

You can try taking up a martial art. I've been doing Kendo/taekwondo and they are great ways to explore your spirituality as well as improve self-confidence/fitness.

15 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-24 22:14 ID:fyAl0wnN

Your dad just tries to save your soul, stop believing in a fat golden gook.

16 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-24 22:14 ID:fyAl0wnN


If you think fighting is a way to "explore your spirituality" you're either an idiot or go to a mcdojo. Most likely both.

17 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-25 01:25 ID:QZNJSngi

If you think all martial arts are solely about fighting you're either an idiot or go to a mcdojo. Most likely both.

That said, I had the impression that kendo and taekwondo were two of the more combat-oriented ones. For this purpose I'd recommend aikido, or tai chi (which, although a lot more militant than most people give it credit for, still has a heavy emphasis on the mental side of things.)

18 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-26 20:55 ID:eVq8thMH


oh lol.

No really >>14 has a good point, but if you're interested Buddhism (especially Zen, since that was what samurai martial arts espoused) I recommend Aikido. It's like the basic elements of Kendo (minus the sword and the rules), tai-chi, and a few other bushido practices and is an excellent way to practice zen. Also Kyudo (archery) but that doesn't seem to be as popular.

19 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-26 20:59 ID:eVq8thMH

Yeah probably at this point the best way to get past your father is probably also the best way to study "Buddhism"; to kill the Buddha, and focus on Zen.

The lack of any kind of deistic focus makes it very compatible with religions like Christianity.

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