anyone else feel like they're about 5 years behind everybody else? (28)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-21 20:10 ID:oqROKBWE

I just recently turned 24, and it only further cemented the feeling that I'm like 5 years behind everyone else my age. I guess what I mean is that I feel like what most people would mentally feel like at 18 or so. All the landmarks people have in their lives seem to come around 4 or 5 years later for me than usual. I didn't have a serious relationship with anyone until I was 20, and that only lasted for a month (because I wasn't really attracted to him, and I was worried he was getting too intense), but we're still really close friends. It just seems like everyone else has more of a handle on being a so called adult and all of that. It still feels like I'm fumbling and childish. Interesting enough, I also got my license when I was 21, about 4 years later than most people too. I'm currently still at college working on a graphic design degree (I have a few classes left), and I just can't imagine doing the whole career thing. Just wondering if anyone else ever feels like this.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-21 21:03 ID:kpmRQROl

stop worrying with shit like this. live your life in your own rythym. i am 21 and haven't gotten a license, and don't intend on doing so any time soon.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-22 00:02 ID:P6WX7JM5

I get that feeling too sometimes. I'm 24 (25 in a few months). Never been in a relationship (never dated or done anything with a girl), still at university, I don't have a car (I had my Driver's license since I was 20, though) and I still live with my parents. All around me it seems everyone is getting into serious relationships, getting started with their careers, having kids, getting married, and in general, just moving on with their lives, while I'm still stuck where I was 5 years ago.

It doesn't bother me that much (although I do sometimes long for a serious relationship). My life is fairly relaxed and I have certain freedoms that others don't. For example, not being in a relationship means I can do whatever I want whenever I want without being bound or held back by someone else. Similarly, not being in a career means I have half working days, and even have the freedom to take days off whenever I want. I am not stressed out by work-related responsibilities like everyone else.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-22 01:22 ID:Pktsc6Yw

I'm in the same situation, the only difference i'm dead inside.

5 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-22 20:10 ID:+ntZbgrh

+1 moar person for this boat.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-22 22:38 ID:Heaven

I'm 18 and I know I have the experience of an 80 year old, the wisdom of one older, and the intelligence of another older yet... Or the hunger for knowledge, anyway.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-23 04:26 ID:K3gk7jrd

I fell like I'm at least 3 years behind everyone else.

About to enter my senior year of college, and I'll have a super-senior year after that.

And I was in community college for 4-5 years before my current year.

8 Name: FT Part Timer : 2008-03-23 04:30 ID:H0j2tOm1

I always wondered about this feeling of being behind it all. I graduated from college a year ago and I never realized how difficult it was to get out on my own. I still haven't succeeded in that. When I talk to by friends, I feel ashamed because they have moved ahead and I'm still the same.

9 Name: FT Part Timer : 2008-03-23 04:30 ID:H0j2tOm1

I always wondered about this feeling of being behind it all. I graduated from college a year ago and I never realized how difficult it was to get out on my own. I still haven't succeeded in that. When I talk to by friends, I feel ashamed because they have moved ahead and I'm still the same.

10 Name: FT Part Timer : 2008-03-23 04:31 ID:H0j2tOm1

I wonder, is there something wrong with me, or is it the world around me. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough, or maybe I'm meant to take another road.

11 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-23 05:13 ID:oqROKBWE

Yay for others behind in life. ;__; We should form a club...

12 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-23 05:15 ID:oqROKBWE

I honestly also think that going to college and living on your own and becoming an "adult" and all that is such a huge step. It's like, for 18 odd years we've had our parents to show us how everything works and now suddenly we're supposed to be able to do it all within the span of a few years? It's such a huge shift in lifestyle, esp for people who've never experienced life like it before.

13 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-23 06:47 ID:qw1j/2sm

Hah,

Although I'm a little younger (21), I too feel like my development is a little retarded. I only got my driver's license recently, I have minimal work experience; little things that seem so basic have somehow escaped me, like the proper way to tie your shoes or basic math skills most people seem to grasp (like cross multiplication). I play a lot of games but I never get good at them, and although I write well I have enormous trouble writing. I'm fairly intelligent, yet I feel like a dumbass a lot of the time.

Don't even talk about social relationships.

Don't get self-discouraged though, everybody eventually gets it at their own pace, it doesn't matter how brilliant or idiotic you are.

14 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-23 13:53 ID:F7AyEsX6

I've got exactly the same. I'm nearly 17 but I feel like 14. I get bad grades and I'm not up to a normal level of social skills. I've never kissed a girl, and only had a relation once - in primary school.

I really try to improve myself though, but it just doesn't work.

15 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-23 15:34 ID:f+IWCRuv

>>13

>>everybody eventually gets it at their own pace

Or they don't. Life isn't some teleological progression towards an inevitable happy ending, and anyone who seriously believes as much is a fool.

16 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-23 18:08 ID:sFhMWoK4

Socially, I feel about 8 years below my age. I have a few close friends, but I've never dated, and I've never really had any contact with a girl. I'm not ugly, either, just really bad socially. The fact that I smoke an insane amount of pot to compensate for my boredom doesn't help much, either. To tell you the truth, I wish I had more normal teenage years, as I probably would have learned to talk to girls, and I probably wouldn't be in the situation I am in now.

17 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-23 20:16 ID:Heaven

>>15

true

18 Name: fancypants mcgee : 2008-03-24 04:45 ID:wUTrwq9h

wow... i thought i was the only one. i am way older- i am 34! my husband is chronologically 3 yrs younger than me, but mentally much older. i have been out on my own since i was 20, but that doesn't mean i am a real grown up.

i didn't figure out what i really wanted to do with my life until a couple of years ago. i don't get along with women my age because i have no interests in common. i love jrock, anime, video games, asian dramas, staying up all night... i have no interest in having kids right now, i have no interest in 'settling down'. i do NOT want to be a 'soccer mom'.

my husband figures i am about 20 or so mentally haha. and i have ALWAYS been like this- my friends are almost all younger than me, some WAY younger.

i am not ready to be the age that i am. it doesn't fit me.

but what can i do? i only know how to be myself.

19 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-24 14:55 ID:8NZkIiVo

I feel like I'm still a kid, like 10 or something. I am, all but technically, it's more of a conclusion than a feeling really.
Today is my 26th birthday

20 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-24 17:01 ID:F7AyEsX6

^ congrats!

It had to be said.
Anyway, isn't there someone on 4-ch who HAD this but doesn't have it ANYMORE? I'd gladly have some advice about this.

21 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-24 18:28 ID:+ntZbgrh

>>13

>>2 here. I'm exactly the same, age and experience wise. It sucks.

22 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-24 21:38 ID:gwNLJhHZ

>>18

MILF!

23 Name: fancypants mcgee : 2008-03-25 10:14 ID:wUTrwq9h

>>22

take out the "M" haha

24 Name: Anonymous : 2008-03-25 21:31 ID:6/gFajRm

Same age as most others. Having been a late bloomer and sickly besides leaves me lacking a great deal life experience and self-confidence.
Although oddly I would love nothing more than to settle down with a nine to five job and raise a family at an age when most men are still running away from commitment.
I hate those men.

25 Name: Anonymous : 2010-01-29 23:07 ID:YYfq3/cM

Restoring a great thread from times past.

26 Name: : 2010-01-30 14:01 ID:bqc1ggpQ

Well, I lost my innocence [on life] way too early so I've compensated it by never growing up. On the other hand I feel like I'm about twice my age mentally, always seeing the dark side in everything, but also seeing the humorous side too. Kind of a strange combination actually. I'd want to see everyone die a horribly painful death, but on the other hand I like seeing them dying slowly inside by working in white collar jobs.

27 Name: Anonymous : 2010-02-01 10:04 ID:J00k2LJi

I hear you all!

Had my 21st birthday a couple of months ago, and since then, certain circumstances caused me to take a good long hard look at myself; my personality, achievements, way of life. I've always been everyone's "little sister", and eager to please, but I think that stemmed from my own insecurities. This year I plan to worry less about being accepted by peers, and have more confidence in my self and my own identity.

28 Name: Anonymous : 2010-02-03 08:51 ID:/Mow/sVt

Sorry for the huge blocks of text.

I'm a senior in highschool, and I've been unable to grow as a person for years. I lose my key and bus card easily. I get lost quickly. I rarely do homework. I'm terrible at meeting people. I hate the taste of alcohol. The thought of getting behind the wheel scares me because I'm afraid I'll snap one day and ram into someone, hoping to die. My peers often treat me like the baby of the group, often saying things like "Stop worrying, we'll always take care of you."

I feel like a helpless child and that I'm being pushed to grow up too fast. From time to time I'll do something that makes me feel even more helpless than usual. It'll be something insignificant, like getting up too late or getting kicked off the bus for not having enough change. Whatever it is, I'll just break down crying. Partly because I'm helpless, partly because of the ensuing mental tirade. "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BUCK THE FUCK UP. STOP CRYING. STOP BEING SUCH A PARASITE."

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