I want to be a project.
Basically, my person is the exact opposite of what I want to be. I'm overweight, discouraged, dress badly, have extremely low self-esteem, don't know how to put on make-up or present myself (I'm a girl, by the way!), have an extremely hard time talking to my peers, am awkward, unconfident, shy and have NO idea how to start changing myself.
I'm starting college in August, and I want to be a person I'm proud to be and not feel like I hate myself all the time.
This is where I'll ask for help. I'll be a blank slate: whatever you guys tell me to do (assuming your answer is serious/relevant) I will do it. I've realized that I'm at a loss at what to do, and so, in order to change, I need input and help from other people. I want to be your project, and I want to change into something good.
Will you guys help me?
Dressing/relooking at first.
May sound like nothing but in this world it's sadly important.
Take an example from the average, at least.
Then, be interested in every person, even the one you wouldnt usually talk to.
Each you have the opportunity to speak with, go for it. (well, assuming they're not too stupid)
What looks like a useless relation could lead you to know more interesting people. Like girls.
Change what you can and learn to live with what you can't.
Keep all your goals reasonable and attainable so you can be proud of everything you've achieved.
> I want to change into something good.
You already are something good.
A desire for, and commitment to, self-improvement is among the most admirable qualities a person can have.
>>2
What kind of dressing/"relooking"?
What type of clothes are good? The only thing I really wear are band-tees and skirts, and because I've done that for so long I've lost any sense of fashion.
So the second point is just associate with people? I'll do my best!
>You already are something good.
Thank you for saying that.
I think everything I want to change I can... I like what I like, and I don't think my personality is extremely horrible, so really I just want to change my shyness, relationships and appearance. I think I'm missing out on a lot being the person I am now.
>>5
Stick with skirts, it's hot. However drop the band-tees, that's not so hot. You could go with jeans too, and I personally recommend either buttoned collar shirts or sweaters with high collars. I suggest natural colours for clothes, I like the natural look, it's easygoing.
As for makeup, fuck it. Know what, tend for your skin instead, and I don't mean smear your face with tons of creams and all that crap. Don't finger your face, wash your hands with soap regularly(but not your face, wash it with water only after you've washed your hands). When you take showers you can wash your face with shower gel. Have a healthy diet. Exactly what that is varies depending on needs, but you can do some research. Drink a lot of water though, it washes through your system.
Exercise daily. Start with walks, 30 min a day if you can fit it in. Bicycle if you can, do it much. Go for a jog every now and then but try for excercises that go easy on your legs and knees especially. Go swimming often and take steam-baths, it's also good for your skin. Aim for losing some weight, it will be good for your self-esteem as well as your health.
Overall I think you should go for a natural look, so don't worry about makeup and dressing your hair. Grow it long, at least shoulder-length, and you can have it put up in a pony-tail or some shit, that's always cute.
Your appearance is a good place to start, and losing weight should be your main focus atm. But don't resort to things such as starving yourself, taking pills or anything, do it the right way. It will be rewarding in so many ways once you start to see results.
This is your shopping list for food:
Break up these meals into even smaller meals for maximum effect, this way your body thinks it's always being supplied with food so it's okay to expend fat for
Dinner stuff (Salad)
Baby Spinach (You can get this for cheap in bags)
Chicken (Bake it)
Cucumber
Tomato
Sliced Almonds or Sunflower seeds
Breakfast stuff (Very Simple)
Whole grain oats (make with hot water)
Fruit
Eggs (Don't add dairy products, cheese, sour cream etc.)
If you eat any grains, make sure they are whole grains. Carbohydrates with fiber actually cause less weight gain than straight carbohydrates.
Don't ever justify the buying of snacks, just don't have them around and you won't be tempted.
If you're embarrassed to run or swim, just walk - walking quickly has health benefits. Do it Daily.
>>6
Luckily, my skin isn't too bad. Occasionally I'll have a few problem areas, but I normally it's fine. Besides face wash the only thing I put on it is powder so my face won't be shiny.
Are there any good hair styles? My hair is pretty thick and it's past my shoulders, but it's just kind of... poofy and there. it doesn't really have a shape.
Thank you!!
>>8
Thick hair, kind of poofy, fucking excellent. Just have it like that, messy hair is as sexy as shit.
Someone else might have ideas, but if we are to be more specific it would really be a good idea to know what your face looks like, so we also know what would go well with it. Having your hair down goes well with most looks so for now you can just stick with that.
I want to add that I think this whole idea is cool, so keep on it and keep us updated.
It's hard to judge based only on what you write in fact.
If we could have a picture (you can blurry your face if you're shy) maybe it would be more effective. (imageshack, etc)
But as you wish.
>>10 and >>11
Yeah, I was debating posting a picture before, but I was kind of nervous so I didn't.
I guess this is another step, though. XD;;
http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/4838/ichjj5.jpg
That's probably not too helpful, but there you go. Any tips? My hair is what I'm pretty concerned with. (I know it's hard to see in that picture, so if I have to take another please tell me!)
Thank you!
>>12
Please take anotherone more upclose. But from where I'm standing I think your hair looks very nice, seems to have good volume and everything. I like the colour too. I'd really like to see the general shape of your face also, but you can remove the features like eyes/nose/mouth etc. to avoid recognition if that concerns you.
Also you don't seem to be terribly overweight and also have a well shaped body. Your skin seems nice too but it's hard to tell at this distance. Still, go for losing a few extra pounds, but don't go past regular weight. Personally I prefer slightly chubby.
Dude,
I myself am very self-confident and really don't care what people think so I can't help you with that cause I don't understand why you wouldn't have confidence. But try sports. Yes it is cheesy and crappy, but sports are fun to play, you will get some friends and meet people, and you will lose weight from all the exercise.
You look nice from what we can see.
But as if i suppose you're wearing mostly black, try other colours.
Be aware no one here can know for sure what clothing will look good on you. It's best to get that advice from someone you know IRL with good taste.
I can't see much in that picture; can we get a clearer one? Try blurring out features instead of painting them.
Anyway.
You can't just ask other people who you should be; that's making other people do all the work, and it's a bad way to start off. I also believe that it's nigh impossible to be happy doing that, too.
But my advice clothing wise?
Collect pictures of people you think dress well (magazines, off the internet...), and look to those for inspiration. Try going to a thrift store, and try on a bunch of clothes - all different types. See what you look good in; don't be too hard on yourself, and go a bit out of your comfort zone.
I'd personally suggest some plain jeans that aren't too loose, but aren't super-tight, and some nice shirts - long ones (not baggy! but not too tight either) are nice if you're worried about your weight. Try shorter skirts and stockings (make sure they're different colours!), if you want. Your hair looks nice from what I see, but I've found that loud colours tend to give me a burst of confidence.
Generally, just wear what makes you feel good; not safe.
As for your diet, the only advice I can give is to eat when you're hungry and stop when you're not, and eat slowly; you tend to eat less that way. Also, vegetables are amazing; you can eat tons and tons without worrying. Smoothies are great, too - make them with yogurt.
what bands are on your tees?
Join a gym, if you feel you look good, than you'll be more confident. Seriously, joining a gym is a must Saying that, you're not too overweight, and I think if you just shed a bit through running etc you'd have a curvy look which a lot of men find very attractive
Just looking at that picture and you're clothes, it seems like you don't dress very feminie, maybe you should lose the tights, or at least were see through ones, do not wear black skirts (it looks like you're going to a funeral). Maybe you should buy some slightly shorter skirts made out of denim, theyre very nice, or even jeans, both would look very nice on you. Also, think about getting a top without sleeves, or rather much shorter sleeves. The top you're wearing in that pic looks kind of guyish.
And remember, personality is the most important thing, open up a bit more and relax around people.
>>19 fuck joining a gym. you can get the same workout/better workout at home. buy a pair of dumbells and a barbell or something and do weights and go out for runs. at least this way you might meet some hot babe/guy walking her dog or something. and you get fresh air too. most people who join gyms quit after a couple of months and end up paying a shitload of money to get out of their contract. it is fail
>>19
Denim skirts are uncomfortable, and look bad in 9/10 cases.
ITT: 100% male replies.
You're only on the slightly pudgy side, not really overweight. Try wearing some more formal, suit-like clothes, well fitting (not too tight!) white blouses, etc. I think clothes like that look incredibly sexy on girls with bodies like yours.
You look fine
the problem is..
you care too much about what the other people think about you
thats the reason you are shy
like here, in the internet, you can talk because we dont know each other, so what i think about you wont affect you...
just dont care about the other people, they are busy taking care of what YOU think about them, so they dont really think about you
