shy people (19)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-19 21:25 ID:Y7N67uGg

plz give ur comment

2 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-19 21:33 ID:Heaven

on what.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-19 21:49 ID:w+e6OFmq

too shy to

4 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-19 22:15 ID:Wl0QcQsk


I'm less shy now. Force yourself into situations. Treat your worrying mind as an inferior being and ignore it.

5 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-20 04:31 ID:zBu2GklL

advice taken and memorized

6 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-20 17:32 ID:MqLs5Yx7

>Force yourself into situations.

That's the key. I'm a very shy et cetera person.. Last year I was hospitalized and my psychologist said the best way to overcoming any form of anxiety is to force yourself into the situations that are causing you to be anxious. Slowly taper yourself into these situations, and as you progress the easier it becomes. It's a slow process, but the only real way.

7 Name: Anal Otoko : 2008-04-20 20:02 ID:njxFC020

kill urself.

8 Name: lol : 2008-04-21 13:45 ID:Kq5tRsxS

how if i am speechless?
does anybody know how to overcome it?

9 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-21 17:06 ID:Heaven

Well try anyway. You'll be confused, ashamed, whatever, you'll fumble. She might laugh a bit - not "at you", rather at your clumsiness.

The next will be slightly easier. And so on.

It's a long walk.

10 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-21 17:18 ID:Wl0QcQsk

Like I said (4), just force yourself into it. You really do have to face your fears head on. If you're scared of something, just do it.

11 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-21 17:23 ID:NE8Y/Fz0

Yeah you're right about that.

12 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-21 23:07 ID:Heaven


Please don't troll 4ch. If you want to troll, there's a ton of forums you can fuck around on.

13 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-22 22:20 ID:vhyuVzuR

comment about what?

14 Name: gothicgirl : 2008-04-24 22:03 ID:led6tL2V

Never was shy, Not shy now, Never will be

15 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-24 23:23 ID:MqLs5Yx7


Fuck off outa here then.

16 Name: Sen : 2008-04-27 00:43 ID:oykMBYKn

I disagree with the comments about forcing yourself into 'situations'.
Pushing yourself into a conversation with someone, where you could end up speechless, stumbling, fumble etc will ruin any confidence you have and make you even more shy.
Instead of forcing yourself into huge overpowering situations, slowly integrate yourself. Start off with small comments; Smile and say hello to people you work with or people you see often at school (people in your class,etc). Next time, maybe ask how they are. It'll build up your confidence because people will always reply to you if you say hello or ask how you are. Listen to conversations of the people near by you. When you feel more confident or if the topic is about something you know, try and make a comment. Say they're talking about a film you've seen, say something like you thought it was good.You don't have to say much. Just one comment. After that, it's just a case of building up from one liners to a few comments every now and then to fullblown conversations. Just take it gradually and slowly. It's all about building up confidence.

This is how I managed to integrate myself into my work place. At first, when I started, I only smiled and nodded, because I was too shy to say anything else. But eventually, I built up from saying hello to making a comment to eventually having conversations with people. It IS a lengthy process but it worked for me.
One thing though. As you are shy, you're probably be very quiet. So don't take it as a personal criticism if someone can't hear what you were saying. Just repeat it if they ask. I have a problem where I instantly go 'don't worry' if someone doesn't hear me, which actually ends up causing more fuss than I can really withstand.

17 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-27 02:06 ID:LnKOL5W7

I believe both can work. One will be hardest for the nerves, but generally has the merit to prove to yourself you can do some things.

I started by small talk too. I used to overcompensate a little in the beginning, doing silly stuff to hide the real awkwardness. But I really think what made me progress the most is one situation when I couldn't walk back; I had to play the role of a girl in a fake detective story in front of 40 kids. Some work colleagues asked me to do this, and I couldn't really say no.

It has been really hard, but in the end I realized I had much fun. And by realizing that, I also realized that it was true for most of the social interactions we can have - what killed me and made me hide behind a wall of shyness was principally the fact that I was scared of said interactions, when indeed you don't risk much and can have lots of fun.

Now that didn't cure me in a snap, and it was still a long road from here; but it set me on the rails. And I know I did purposely put myself in similar situations after that; pushing your limits is hard on the moment, but after a while you can tell yourself "wow, I actually did this". And even if you fumble, you had the courage to try it. So confidence, somewhere, is safe.

Whatever you do, the key is not to blame yourself if you fail, but instead use that failure to learn, improve and move on.

It's said and re-said advice, nothing new, and sounds easier said than done. It probably is. But it's true.

18 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-27 11:16 ID:0TVpgGkD

thx 4 ur comment

19 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-27 19:05 ID:MqLs5Yx7


>I disagree with the comments about forcing yourself into 'situations'.

Well, what I meant in post 6 is pretty much what you described. By forcing yourself I don't mean you should go party or have a discussion about quantum physics. I more so meant exactly what you said. You need to taper yourself into social situations. You're right; simply start off saying hello and so on until you're more comfortable.

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