when you have problems that you can't tackle by yourself, "that's what friends are for," right?

but the way i always saw it was that other people already have their own problems to deal with; if i asked them for help, it's just more of a burden on the other person. therefore, as long as you can bear it, keep your problem to yourself.

is this just being too selfless? am i even making sense?

It helps to share your problem with somebody, to get it off your chest etc. That's different to relying on that person to help you by getting your shit together when it should be you who takes control.