I need help with Self Confidence (10)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-12 19:10 ID:QT3IExBK

I'm the outgoing, friendly girl who, when she isn't talking/having fun, is usually seen drawing or writing.
But the problem is, I don't believe my self to be worth anything. I have great dreams for my life: open up a studio, have children and so on but I don't think I'll do any of those.

I've tried just about everything to make myself feel better. I used to have long red hair and now because of something that happened a while back, I have short hair that I hate more than anything. I have no up-to-date clothes, and I'm usually seen in jeans and a t-shirt - usually a non feminine and plain one. Another thing is my age, I'm 18, but whenever someone takes a look at me they say I look 15 or 16; I even got 13 once.

I've never had a boyfriend and I don't think anyone - beside girls - have ever expressed interest in me.

Everyone tells me I'm pretty, but I just don't see it. Is there anything I can do to have better self confidence and maybe perhaps make myself seem more available for dating?

2 Name: eskrim : 2008-05-12 20:13 ID:EB63NLlc

>>I don't believe my self to be worth anything.

hey we have something in common here but for me only sometimes he3

>>Another thing is my age, I'm 18, but whenever someone takes a look at me they say I look 15 or 16; I even got 13 once.

hey i thought thats compliment, seriously, its more depressing when people think you are older than you really are

>>I have no up-to-date clothes, and I'm usually seen in jeans and a t-shirt - usually a non feminine and plain one.

this is probably the easiest, if you see a girl on the street who you think is fashionable, just copy her style, dont be afraid to try out new thing! to change yourself, start with appearance.

>>Everyone tells me I'm pretty, but I just don't see it.

show some pics and we'll pass our judgments lol. who's everyone btw?? how is it possible that guys think you are pretty and leave you alone?? its impossible, this scenario doesnt even exist! (i'm a guy btw, so i know) plus you said "'m the outgoing, friendly girl"

3 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-12 21:59 ID:1m6GyvJT

Your worth depends solely on what you are good at
you're not worth shit if youre a model and your life revolves around it
jack of all trades is desirable, because if you step forward instead of backwards when you meet a little resistance you will eventually be more dependable than most people -
and thus more desirable. (my opinion however)

As for the clothes, ill be more than happy to provide you with this: you have two opposing choices,
wear uncomfy clothes and risk looking like a hoe - you will end up with a boyfriend with a small narrow mind
its not worth the lucky strike trying...
wear comfy clothes and who knows, sure most people your age will look straight through you
to me this is the greatest thing since sliced bread

dont take my word for this as nothing is black/white
i usually wear jogging outfits because theyre loose, comfy
and i like it that way.. which is the only factor for me
note that clothes are ONLY superficial - you cant judge a book by its cover

finally be yourself, because you arent anyone else
and anyone who isnt less gifted in perception will notice
if you try too hard.. not only is it a strain on yourself
its discouraging for those who look to find the real deal
ie. a woman with self confidence, and wouldnt you know -
isnt that what you asked for :)

4 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-12 22:19 ID:VXDjyjwe

If nobody expresses interest in you, express it in them! Be assertive in your love life! I promise you once you find a good boyfriend (or girlfriend!) your confidence will go up! They would be able to help you with your outdated wardrobe and much MUCH more!

5 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-12 22:24 ID:z6ygyQjV

Do sports, it helps with self-confidence, well any excercise really. Updating your wardrobe will also help, as much as I don't like saying it, since it seems so superficial.

How you could make yourself seem more available dating-wise is more difficult to answer without more information, like what is your track-record with the male species? do you have male friends? Do you come into contact with them on a daily basis? How do you interact with them etc etc.

...But I honestly don't really understand why you are posting this question, you are lucky, you are an outgoing and friendly girl, who has friends and dreams. Someone, even if female has expressed interest in you, and people consider you pretty, this is much more than some of us here can say. What I think you most need is a dose of reality, you need to see how lucky you really are.

6 Name: eskrim : 2008-05-12 22:31 ID:EB63NLlc

>>note that clothes are ONLY superficial - you cant judge a book by its cover

yes i agree that you cant judge a book by its cover but sadly, we live in a world where first impression is very important, dont you agree?

so if you want others to find out how good you really are inside, you have, to certain extent, make them interested in you first, one way is to change your appearance if you havent had any luck so far like OP. if you think otherwise, i honestly think you are disillusioned, no offense, just what i think.

>>finally be yourself, because you arent anyone else... ie. a woman with self confidence, and wouldnt you know

while i think its admirable to be ourself, OP here lacks confidence, so if she continues to be herself, she'll continue lacking confidence (because she is not comfortable with herself??). if she wants change in her situation (finding a bf), then of course she has to change herself or nothing will change (remain single). sometimes change can also be for the better, not always for the worse, you wont know until you try.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-13 03:48 ID:YfRTihwR

Hey OP, I used to be similar to you...except I was shy in addition to lacking self-confidence.

Wardrobe change does help. It's superficial as all hell, but for girls, (I'm girl, too) looking your best will help you feel good - as long as you're looking good for yourself, nobody else.

If you're already outgoing and friendly, then I'm sure you have lots of friends/lots of people like you. That should be a confidence booster in and of itself.

But the one thing that helped me most?

Fake it until you make it.

Seriously. Positive thinking and believing in yourself (even when you don't really believe in yourself) really does wonders. Before you know it, you WILL be confident.

If everybody tells you you're pretty, and people have expressed interest in you (even if it's not guys), they may be on to something.

Unless you're fat. In which case, lose weight - this will also boost your self-confidence.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-13 13:23 ID:NM2d4hXE

>>7
Totally agree.

I scarily related to you whilst reading that, OP.

If you think you look good appearance wise, it will do wonders to your self confidence. Take it from a girl who had all that inner beauty stuff, but received compliments on her outer beauty like they were pity votes.

9 Name: eskrim : 2008-05-13 14:49 ID:EB63NLlc

yay superficial beauty wins!

10 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-16 04:52 ID:Heaven

>Wardrobe change does help. It's superficial as all hell, but for girls, (I'm girl, too) looking your best will help you feel good - as long as you're looking good for yourself, nobody else.
>If you think you look good appearance wise, it will do wonders to your self confidence.

I'm a guy and I agree with this. Knowing I look good has certainly helped me with my confidence.

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