I turned 20 last month and I've been at a good university for almost two years now but I'm so goddamn miserable every day. I can't study and spend most of the time in front of my computer just wasting time. I'm on a different continent from my family and a different country than all my friends. It's been almost two full school years (9 months of college a year) but I haven't really made friends and I hate this place more each day. I feel like I can't take this crap anymore but I have at the very least two years of this left and it is driving me crazy. Before college I've never been far from my family (I'm super close to them) and some of my really close friends (I can't live without them). I feel life is so pointless. No idea why I even really bother any more. Going to this college wasn't really my choice. My mom encouraged me to apply to this one and back then I had depression so I kinda didn't take my life together enough to make a good application to the university I wanted to go to.
I feel I've already failed life in so many aspects. I'm 20 and I've never been in a relationship, I'm at a college I hate with no friends. I hate what I'm studying and I'm so goddamn depressed all the time.
I'm not really seeking advice or anything. I mean all people are going to say is something along the lines you need to make a change if you want things to change. I already know that but I can't seem to be able. I guess I'm mostly putting it out there in hopes that writting some of this down will take the weight off my chest or something.