Need to get away ASAP (16)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-21 15:33 ID:Ke0PQdmF

I need to get out of my current situation soon. I'm 19, female, living with my mom at the moment. My mom is one of those mothers who mentally abuses their children, you know? She never hits me, she mostly talks all sorts of colorful shit about how worthless I am. Constantly. (This has been going on for years, not just because I'm still living with her)

Anyway, I need to LEAVE. I want to get as far away as possible, as cheaply as possible, and not end up in a 3rd world country where I'll be shot or raep'd or who knows what.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me?

I was thinking about doing some homestays or being an au pair in France since I have a somewhat decent understanding of the language... the problem is that plane tickets are too expensive.

Any help would be really appreciated.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-21 16:21 ID:o2K8DYR6

Your first step is to get some money saved up, in some [legal] way or another. Are you working a job right now? If not, write up a resume and start pounding the pavement. Either way, save up every single penny you get, when you've got around 3-4K or more saved up, pick a place you want to go, do the research on how to get there and how to afford living there, pack your stuff and go. Make sure it doesn't kill your entire savings just to get there, though!! You'll want some money left over just in case things don't go as planned (can't get a job, unexpected expenses, etc.) Theoretically you ~could~ just up and go, but it'll be a LOT harder and more dangerous without any money saved up.
Also a word of warning, in any situation living with strangers, be sure to meet the people before agreeing to anything. Living with people whose personality/living style you're not compatible with will lead to frustration and/or misery.
P.S. If you live in the USA and decide to nix the plans for France, check Craigslist for apartment prices in various cities.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-21 20:30 ID:8wzTxsPo

I agree with >>2.

A few notes:

  • You're young, female, and inexperienced. You're a prime target for the worst kind of people, so be very careful.
  • Partly as a result, do not travel anywhere other than major industrialized countries (read: western Europe, Australia/New Zealand, North America).
  • Never surrender you passport to anyone. Ever.

Unfortunately, given your circumstances, you're in a tough spot. I wouldn't recommend traveling since you have no money or skills to fall back on. I'd recommend getting a loan and studying; it's possible to get loans to study overseas as well, which is how I did things. If you just want to get away from a parent the next city over is just as good as another country.

I know a person who worked their way through Australia while backpacking, but getting there is terribly expensive. Also, this person is an experienced traveler.

4 Name: Jerk : 2008-05-21 20:51 ID:kJvfaycr

Don't be stupid. Go with a friend. GET A JOB. Go to school. Think long term. Don't borrow money. Live way below your means.

5 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-22 07:12 ID:rVhINGZr

Backpacking can be dangerous and I know is fairly obvious but it should be thrown into the topic anyway.

I plan to do something similar. But I'll sleep on the idea for a few years since I'm unable to travel as of now and if I still feel like leaving I'll have some money to do it. If not, I'll have a bit of extra cash.

Good luck with it OP.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-22 08:57 ID:dIoKQesy

I agree with >>4. Get a place with a friend, get a job, and work your way through college. Where do you want to be in 5 years? 10 years? 30 years? Think about your goals and work towards it now.

Also, I grew up with a mother exactly like that. The easiest way to deal it is actually to stop talking to her. I stopped talking to my mother when I was 14 years old, despite the fact that we lived under the same roof. It took her a few months to catch on, but I haven't been bothered by her for four years and counting. It might work in your situation as well. If your mother stopped talking to you, would you be content living under the same roof as her?

7 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-22 10:07 ID:Ke0PQdmF

Thank you for all the advice so far.

I haven't been working because of my classes(I'm graduating in one week) I don't get home until around 6PM. I've been looking for a job starting this summer for two months. It's hard when I can only apply at places that pay minimum wage when those places tend to hire mostly illegal immigrants.

I like the idea of getting loans to study abroad, or at least on the other side of the country. Can student loans be used to cover dorm costs, or is it better to pay for that myself?(ugh.)

I've attempted to stop communicating with her, but she always wants to pick a fight and aggravate tense situations, so that's kind of out of the question. It'd be nice, though!

8 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-22 19:25 ID:dIoKQesy

>>7 Who cares if she picks a fight?

Mom: "You're worthless!"
You: "..."
Mom: "You do nothing for this household!"
You: "-Walks away. Gets a bowl of cereal. Goes into room.-"
Mom: "Don't you walk away from me!"
You: "-Continues to eat bowl of cereal.-"
Mom: "...-Grumbles. Walks away.-"

Seriously. You don't have the self control to blatantly ignore her?

9 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-22 20:33 ID:kn/Mfe3n

i think you are missing the emotional component, you can easily ignore somebody you don't care about but thats pretty hard to do with your mom

10 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-22 20:51 ID:Atk56yBa

I used to get told a lot of stuff like that, after a while I just started agreeing with them, seemed to shut them up. "yeah, you are probably right" etc in a calm manner. By this time, I was quite numb to insults though..

11 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-23 02:11 ID:JRYY1DAB

For the broke student traveler, hostels have been my best friend. kicks ass too.

12 Name: K-otaku : 2008-05-27 22:04 ID:+lN78a8l

I have a weed dealer? but, that won't work unless you got friends. Try selling sylvia. The prices it goes for is a steal.^_-

13 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-27 23:39 ID:9s5ImpJ5

I went to Pakistan when I was younger. I had no money, only enough for a plane ticket.
Everybody in Pakistan is lovely and you won't get raped, honestly.
They help eachother out even if they themselves have nothing.

14 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-28 04:06 ID:yIS0cHcK

I had a friend who had the same problem her solution was to join the military. They pay for college and stuff and you probably wouldn't have to see your mom very often or at all due to being repositioned and deployed places. There are different areas you could go into it may sound like a crazy idea but its not as bad as it sounds.

15 Name: Anonymous : 2008-05-28 15:38 ID:uaAg16vJ

Anonymous is hilarious

16 Name: Anonymous : 2008-06-04 19:52 ID:i3xRCWVq

Try your damndest for that job, get some student loans, go somewhere even if it's only community college (community college is basically the same as two years of university, only way cheaper) and MOVE. You'll need friends to room with if you're not staying in dorms, as apartments are expensive; but that's what I'm doing in a few months.

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