I have no idea what to do. (5)

1 Name: Dense Anonymous : 2008-06-12 05:38 ID:c6eDEYYw

Hey guys, I need some help. I have no idea what to do. I think I have time to do whatever I need to do, but I have no direction at all.


16/m/southern California. Dutch/Indonesian/German/Spanish. American/Dutch citizen. Poofy/frizzy hair that grows outwards rather than down. I think I'm going to cut this coming monday... dunno, it looks bad. Brown eyes, pale/olive skin from being nocturnal and sitting in my room 95% of the time. Slightly overweight, 190 pounds 5'10. Not in great shape, I have a unsightly stomach bulge, but I'm too lazy to do anything about it, and I kinda don't care(should I care?). I have a 10-year-old younger sister, and honestly I don't know her well at all. Virgin, never had a significant other. I have a cat, and I would say she is my best friend. Addicted to the internet. I'm interested in some video games, books, and sitting on the computer. I do alternative schooling, so I go to class to turn in/pick up homework for one hour every monday. I have tons of free time, and I spend it all on a computer. I don't have a cell phone, and I don't watch TV. I have human contact once a week, every monday, with my teacher at school, for one hour. My mom drives me there, and we almost never talk. I almost never see my dad, because I sleep during the day. I have four IRL friends that I'll chat with on the internet or over the phone every once in a while, but I dislike talking with people in general. I suppose I have gotten to where I am now because I tend to avoid social stuff. I think(hope)that I am a little less ignorant/mindless than most people my age. Something about my peers gives me a 'stay away' vibe, I don't think sexing/snorting/drinking everything is such a great idea. I have yet to meet anybody my age who thinks like I do about this stuff, but then again, I'm sort of a hermit. My parents don't seem to care much about me. I kinda like that, that they're not always pushing me to get a job or something. They used to try and get doctors to diagnose me with all kinds of stuff. I got diagnosed with social anxiety, delayed sleep phase syndrome, and depression at age 13. So I went through 3-4 different medications, this last one, Paxil, stuck. I really don't believe in all of this diagnosis and quick-fix drug stuff, it just seems unnatural and... bleh. I'm still taking it though, and I think it might be helping with my general happiness. I try not to think too hard about how I might be if I was off of medication. I'm a senior in high-school now, almost out. I have enough free time on my hands to get a full-time job.

I hope this large block of text didn't scare everybody off. :(

My problem is this:

I'm really alone. Really, really alone. 99% of my talking is done with people I can't see in front of me(internet, home phone). It doesn't bother me, but I've really thought about it... This is the sort of thing I will look back on and regret, big time. But I have no idea what to do. I don't really want to get a job, but I'll need money to pay for college. My parents don't seem to care if I just stay here at their home for the rest of my life. I don't want to do that, though.

What can I do to make my life fulfilling? I'm willing to do anything within reason, even the stuff I mentioned not wanting to do.

Suggestions please!

2 Name: Anonymous : 2008-06-12 06:32 ID:w8p32bU0

Meet up with your IRL friends, do stuff..you never what will happen (meeting new people?,etc), Cut down on your computer activity, exercise & eat healthy and try to get a weekend job, not for yourself (well that too) but to show to your parents that YOU DO CARE.

etc etc. There are tons of these threads, ..


3 Name: Anonymous : 2008-06-16 15:57 ID:fqf5wyHn

Okay, first thing's first. You have to change your attitude about yourself. If you don't like yourself, do you think others will?! I can tell that you do not like yourself because:

  1. You mentioned your dislike for your hair and stomach bulge. (and btw, there is NOTHING WRONG with being a virgin)
  2. You posted this, which means you are admitting you are having a problem, which means you do NOT like you yourself as you are now.

So, next. You say you get human contact mostly on only mondays, to get homework. This is, in my opinion, too less human contact for you. So, you should try discussing with your parents for a change of schedule. Why don't you go to REGULAR school, where you get human contact not 1 day a week, but 5 days a week? You need to get adjusted to humans. Better to do this sooner, not later.
And while you are getting human contact, don't forget to take care of yourself, EVER. By this I mean finding ways to accept who you are. If you dislike being overweight, lost weight. There are websites to help you on that, or you can even post another topic on the health section. If you dislike your hair, buy magazines on hair that help you find a better hairstyle, or read tips off the internet (if you need more help on this, ask in another topic). Do what you can. Have a positive attitude. Think: I am unique. Only I can be me! I'm special. Like yourself. :)
Okay, so on the human contact. When you meet people, make an effort. Don't scare them away. Again, this links back to the "positive attitude." Don't think, "oh man this person's NOT going to like me" and just frown and walk in the other direction or something. Have positive thining. A tip to making an effort: Think: If I was the other person, what kind of friend would they like to have? BE that kind of person. If you want to have friends, be happy, BE A FRIEND FIRST. :D

About parents:
Do you think they really care about you or not? Only you can decide. If, deep inside of you, you know they do, talk to them more. Get to know them--their likes, dislikes, their day, anything. They are people too. If you show that you care, maybe they will make more of an effort to show that they care too. (This also applies to the sister). If, you HONESTLY think they don't care about you, it would be best to KEEP YOUR POSITIVE thinking and not give a damn about them. Meaning, do NOT think, "ohhh poor me, my parents dont care about me blah blah." Think, "it is not my fault that my parents do not care about me. it is their own mistake. however, i, as a human being, will continue to respect them because i am their daughter." You are not an unwanted child. You were born with a purpose in this world. :) YOU ARE SPECIAL. If you want to find your purpose in life, I recommend reading the Bible. :)

One last thing:
About the pills. You have a bad attitude about them, judging from your post. Do not do that. You think, " really don't believe in all of this diagnosis and quick-fix drug stuff, it just seems unnatural and... bleh"...but what you have to think is, "yes, this is going to help me. this is going to work."....and also, if your parents really didnt care about you, why would they spend their precious time and money taking you to do these diagnoses? if they didn't care, why didn't they leave you in your depression? ...in any case, about the pills, think, "yes, this is going to work." :)

I hope you go somewhere with this. You are a special person. :) Humans were made to interact with each other, not be alone. :D

4 Name: Anonymous : 2008-06-24 17:37 ID:y6vG9I7Z


5 Name: Anonymous : 2008-06-24 19:46 ID:eYQVXofj


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