I am 22 and live at home still. I don't have any friends. I haven't been outside my house more than once a year for the last seven years. My hair is so long it reaches my ass. Everything I have to do I order from the internet. (Money is not a issue.) I'm getting tired of spending my days on the internet or playing games/watching anime, etc. Nothing on the outside interests me. I'm leaning over to suicide.
What the hell should I do?
creep around your town in the dark shadows of the night once in a while.
>>2
I live in a small town. There is nothing to see, probably.
Do you have anxiety over going outside, or do you just feel no point in doing it?
It sounds like you have no motivation to really do anything. I would see a therapist, to be honest. You need to figure out WHY you have no interest in the world, and what you can do to change it.
Give me your money and then put a charcoal grill in your room, which has to be as airtight as possible.
Of course it was an accident.
win/win!
You know, people with monetary issues really have it easy in life. They learn to be motivated and work mindlessly to succeed, all at a young age.
Go out get a haircut, you'll feel better once you've accomplsihed something, then come tell us how it went.
>>5
I don't have anxiety to go outside, like you said, I don't see a point in it. I saw a therapist once, she diagnosed me with asperger, and that was pretty much the end of it. Didn't change a thing. (God damn assburgers everywhere.)
>>7
Unfortunately, I was born with my own will and mindset.
>>8
I've thought about it, but I've kinda come to like my long hair. It took so long to save this much, and you can only have this long hair a few times during your life. I know for sure it would not feel like a accomplishment though.
Did you stop going to therapy for a reason? Or did it just happen?
It might make you feel more motivated if you worked for a goal. Do you have any kind of work you want to do, or do you have any activity you want to do (go to a foreign country, go go a concert, etc.)? I guess those things sound kind of generic, but even small things can be huge steps.
Just, please don't even consider suicide. If you don't have anyone else to talk to then I'll give you my screen name, just please don't kill yourself. Even if no one else cares, I do!
Give human relationships a chance, they're the most entertaining game out there, with better payoffs than any video game I know. Read some PUA guides and use them as a theoretical basis for all interactions. Soon enough you will not only be able to interact with people, but you will have the social upper hand, always.
Go to college, if not just for the experience. You'll see so many things that you'd never see otherwise.
>>10
It just happen. I don't want to work. I can't think of any activity that would interest me, however I do want to visit Japan. I have the money do go there, but I'm scared of traveling alone due to lack of the required social skills, and I just want to go with someone. Unfortunately I don't know anyone that would go with me. I'm pretty sure I'll commit suicide sooner or later, it's just it'll probably be sooner. If you really do care, that's an amazing ability you have...
>>11
I'm not sure what it feels like to have a relationship, and I've gotten so used to being alone, that it doesn't really matter as much. At least not that I know of.
>>12
No thanks, absolutely not interested in that one.
I was hoping someone out there would have an answer that would just click.
I seriously doubt that anyone is going to have a definitive answer for you. Looking on the internet at some discussion board really isn't going to help you all that much. Ok, so it might a little...all of this is probably helping a little bit...Anyway, you need to understand that there is no "big answer" and that all of this is a process. I'm a recovering Hikki...whatever...myself. And those are the biggest things I've come to realize. All of this just takes time. You need to take little steps. Start going outside. Go for walks. Get familiarized with the outside. Then, go to the store...get used to being around people. Then, (I know you really don't want to...who does...get a job. Even if you don't need one, of feel like you need one, get one anyway. Trust me it will help. And all of this doesn't need to happen over night. Like I said, it takes time. (And some effort on your part!) It's all about how badly you want this for yourself. I hate to sound like a parent/therapist, but it's definitely the truth. If you really want to get out of your parent's house...then you need to take the steps to do that. Trust me...I know its hard. Just remember...your not alone. And there will always be somebody there to help. Good luck.
shit, people like you piss me off. you go around feeling bad about yourself and believe that there is nothing you can do about it even though you don't even try to change anything by yourself. On top of that, it sounds like you don't even have a real problem, you're just a lazy, undisciplined person who never really tried anything for himself, but already decided in your mind that it wasn't for you. Can you read the future or something? How do you know if you're going to enjoy something or not if you haven't even tried it?
get over yourself. There are people out there who have had far worse problems than you did, but didn't sit on their ass wondering why their life sucks so much. They went out there and fixed it with their own hands. why shouldn't you be able to do the same thing?
>>14
I don't want to or feel like doing any of that. You goto remember I've been in here for over SEVEN years, and even before that I wasn't much of a social person. I'm not really sure what I want, but I know I don't mind my parents house. Meh, I don't know really what to do.
>>15
Although there is some truth in what you say, you can't go around comparing your own problems to other peoples problems, neither can you think about other peoples problems before your own. A physical problem isn't necessarily more important than a mental problem. And I really have tried many things before my life as a hikikomori, things like riding horses, motorbikes, bowling, golf, etc. They just aren't things I like to do. Not everyone can motivate to do something. You'll understand if you ever get into such a position.
I understand where you coming from. The outsid world e doesn't interest me either, but why the suicide? Is it because you have grown tired of your activities or that you aren't "productive"? I'm pro-choice, so no "cliche suicide never answer bullshit answers" that i despise.
Enlighten me please.
I really do care, so please, please, please don't kill yourself. Even if it seems like you will be, you won't stay in this slump forever if you really want to change, so please don't get rid of any chance of success you have by committing suicide.
Traveling will be kind of scary, even with friends. Going there alone might actually help you out a lot. I went last month and everyone is really friendly and there are TONS of things to do, and if you stay at a hostel it will be even easier to meet people to hang out with. Many groups that stay there are really laid back and will invite many people to just tag along. It's a great experience.
I think, also, that sometimes you don't always have to have an interest in what you do. You say you have no interest in working or doing anything, but I would at least TRY something with an open mind. Even if you end up hating the activity, it will let you meet new people and it might even open you up to new activities that you will enjoy. Just pick something and try it for a while, whether it be a part-time job, going to a group in your town, or anything of that sort. Just try. But, don't go into it thinking: "I hate this, this is going to be boring, I don't have an interest in this." Say: "Okay, I could like this so I'll do my best while I'm here."
If you're relying on your parents for everything (I'm assuming? you said you live with them still) then it's really not fair to them at all to have to support you totally for this long. Even if money is no object to you, they're still having to work for it, right?
But, I think something important has to be addressed first:
Do you WANT to change?
If you want to, then heed all the advice that everyone is giving you, because I know you'll be able to succeed.
But right now it sounds like you're making excuses to everyone in order to keep from trying anything. We don't care why you got this way and we're not judging at all, so excuses aren't necessary. If you want to be able to go out and change yourself, then we're all here to help you find ways to do that.
But, if you don't want to change and you want to stay in the exact same situation, then tell us that, too, because it's unfair if people are genuinely trying to help you, although you know you'll just reject everything they say.
So, do you want to?
>>17
I'm not only tired of my current activities, but also life in general. Doubt I will find something fun to do again.
>>18
I live in a small town with little above 40k people, suffice to say, it's not hard to meet someone you don't want to meet from your past. There's many things I don't like about this place, and they are part of what makes up my decision to not work. However I do not get my money from my parents, so that is not a issue either. I don't know if I want to change as much as I just want something fun to do so I can pass time obliviously. Trying to work in this small town that holds more past and memories than I'd like, is too much of an effort for the outcome. I think the only way I'd be able to change, in the case I would want that, is if I moved to another country. Obviously this is one step too large for me. I don't really have anywhere to begin. I know I'm rejecting, but it's really not that easy. I'm in a very difficult situation. I really did think about it before I "rejected" it. I just don't know what to do, and so, suicide seems like the nice way out of it.
Sigh...
I see a bit more where you're coming from now, but I still have to hold on to the idea that suicide is the wrong path.
If you eventually want to move to another country, why not try a different area (state, prefecture, etc, depending on where you live), or even just the next city over? Not only would that give you a fresh place where you can get away from your old haunts, but living independently might also help you get a motivational boost.
Since money isn't a concern, you could try renting an apartment somewhere for a short period of time and use that time to explore the new town.
I think, though, that "just want[ing] something fun to do so [you] can pass time obliviously" is your biggest problem. Humans can thrive and have fun only because they are working for a goal. You do well in primary and secondary school so you can go to college, you do well in college so you can get a good job, you get a job so you can retire, etc, etc. If we all just dragged along then nothing would be fun because every moment of our lives would be "fun". I mean, aren't leisure times fun BECAUSE they're leisurely? Most other people have things that they want to do and goals that they want to achieve, so even though a great deal of boring, tedious time is spent trying to achieve those goals, life is ultimately enjoyable, not only because of the off times, but also because you are constantly looking forward and working on something you really want to achieve.
I think that's what you lack, because you have such instant gratification (you want to watch anime ,you do it, you want to play computer, you do it) that your leisure times become all the time. But if you have nothing bad to compare those leisure activities to, then suddenly fun is just normal, boring life, and you're stuck with something.
Ah, did that make sense? i write to much, sorry. (>_<)
>>20 "life is ultimately enjoyable"
Eeeuhm no. Life is subjective all the way. Some had a shitty life or others have anything yet they feel dead inside. I'm sorry, but you are giving "life is jolly" advice which does not work.
You have two choices OP: Continue your quest, seek some professional help (seeing money is no issue) and at least do that. Isn't your family worth it? Think about it, if not for you, do it for them.
The other choice is killing yourself, seeing we will die anyways , the suffering is not worth the pointless existence.
Both choices make sense, both create suffering.
goodluck
Keep the lights very low and don't go out during the day, and keep the television and internet off for a few months, then you will have friends. I did this and friends started to appear in my room. At first they just hovered near my bed and were very translucent and silent, but as time went along they became more opaque and started talking to me. They explained that they are angels, and even though it scared me at first, now we hang out all the time (watch movies, play cards. etc). They told me no one is ever really alone and are always being watched over, even when you are taking a shower -- so keep your hands off your rhythm stick.
I used to be a hikikomori for about five years. After years of suffering from anxiety problems and trying my best to break my habit, I finally found the answer. I'm sure this answer will work for most hikikomori, if they're willing to go through with it. Don't stop reading just because this sounds lame.
Volunteering. When you volunteer, you can go as often as you want and people will treat you like you're the best person in the world for doing it, especially if you're a young person. Being around those old Christian ladies is a really refreshing. It's like having 20 Grandmas. Those people rely on you, and it gives you a sense of purpose, even if it's just helping them to lift a crate of food that would otherwise hurt their backs. Every town has volunteer work that needs done, even if it's just going to an old man's house every week to help him rake up some leaves.
Seriously, try it out. When I was recovering from my hiki-state, I first began volunteering at a food bank about once a month, and soon got up to three times a week. Since then, my self-confidence has never been higher, I feel great and I'm in shape (from lifting crates of food and moving furniture in their thrift store), and I've even started a relationship. Volunteering is much simpler than having a job, as you're not required or expected to go in on a schedule. Try it out. If it doesn't work out for you, come back and we'll give you some more ideas, but don't brush it off just because you're feeling lazy or don't think it will work.
Best of luck.
>>22
Oh, that was hilarious. Thanks.
>>20
I don't want to move to another city, I don't like my country.
Aside from that another issue with moving is I don't get to see my family very often, and I kinda like my family.
Regarding having something boring to do, so that other things will be more fun; I don't think I could do it, I'm so used to doing things I like, that going out and do something I would find boring now feels impossible. Even if I could motivate to do so, I wouldn't know where to begin. I feel stuck.
>>21
Professional help didn't help. The whole suffering things is annoying, and I too find that suicide isn't all that wrong.
>>22
I actually want sometimes to get a psychosis or see hallucinations or something, just so I can forget everything else. Even after all these years alone, I'm still sane.
>>23
It does sound like something that might work, but at the same time it would feel like I'm wasting time I could spend playing or something. Not getting any younger here. But then again, it's not like I'm going to use my life for anything useful. I don't think I could even go around asking or find out where to volunteer for something. You should also remember, I'd rather not have anything to do with this town.
I've been stuck here for so long, that maybe what I need is a push in the right direction by someone? I don't know if I can manage to get out of this on my own. Trying something new in my current state is a lot harder than it sounds. At the same time I hate my self for rejecting everything you suggest.
>>25 Do you need a push irl to achieve this? I think we're certainly pushing pretty hard here in cyber-space.
Try to remember that YOU came to US for help. You need to be serious about "fixing" yourself. It's very likely that your small town actually offers a lot more than you would expect. It would likely be best to get out of your hikikomori habit while living in your current town, and THEN move somewhere. It will be a lot easier to start over and begin forming your new identity when you're able to actually meet people. It won't do you much good to move to an entirely different place and then find yourself sitting in your window staring longingly at your neighbors all day, will it?
I also noticed that no one mentioned the standard list of websites to meet people. If you're interested, here they are. While most of these look like dating sites, most offer the option to search for "Friends Only".
okcupid.com
anonidate.com
plentyoffish.com
justsayhi.com
friendster.com
>I have the money do go there, but I'm scared of traveling alone due to lack of the required social skills, and I just want to go with someone.
Pay me the tickets and I'll go with you.
Where do you want to go and what do you want to do? Visit some meido cafes and arcades in Akiba, relax and sightsee temples in rural areas, or both? Maybe something else?
>>25 Honestly I think you're already suffering from some sort form of psychosis. I know I'm not a professional or anything, but I believe that anytime you are feeling detached from reality in some form is considered to be some form of psychosis. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I don't know your situation to a tee, I'm going off of personal experience here. I close myself off from the rest of the world because I feel detached from rest of the world. I don't think I "think" like everyone else. (If that makes any sense) In other words, I feel detached from reality. Hence the psychosis.
Look...you're obviously wanting something here...something more than we're all trying to give you. Please...go and see someone. There's hope out there. You might not even like the first couple of people that you go to. But like I've said it takes time and yes, some effort! Just don't resort to suicide...please...I know I don't know you but, its not worth it! What is killing yourself going to accomplish? Really? I know you probably don't care about your life, but trust me...there's someone out there that does! Hell I do! I really, really do! (Do you think I would be saying all of this if i didn't!?!) Please don't give up!
>>26
I think pretty much yes, someone dragging me out. (Imagines a beautiful angel coming to save him.)
>>27
Sorry, I can't do that. I want to go do pretty much everything Japan has to offer that other countries do not, including the things you mentioned.
>>29
I'm detached from normal life, not from reality. I am well aware of my situation, and I don't experience anything described under a psychosis, so no psychosis. And I don't really know what I want, maybe I'm looking for someone who will go with me to Japan, or maybe I'm just confirming that dying is best for me. Just maybe someone has a solution that could work for me.
I thank you guys for your suggestions, but I guess they won't work for me. I'll probably be stuck until someone does something or I kill my self. Then again, it's gone seven years. So I guess nobody will do anything. In the end, I'll probably kill my self.
>>30 Fuck that man...
Jesus...what the hell is killing yourself going to accomplish? Yeah, I probably know what you're going to say...Come on. Seriously man...you never know what life's going to bring you. It may not be this way forever. You never know! And what is this crap about "somebody doing something?" Shit man...nobody's going to do anything. Ultimately it's up to you. It's how badly you want this for yourself. Don't give up! There's hope! There's always hope! I swear to you. Even when you think you're lost, and there's no light in your dark world, there's hope. Trust me, one of my best friends killed himself. You have no idea what that does to people who are close to you. And don't tell me there's no one close to you...Please...I beg you. Don't kill yourself. If for nobody else, do it for me. Please. I care...I really, really do!
Try drugs.
Psychedelics can be an eye opening experience. Or just do something for fun. You owe it to you, even if just to experience it before you kill yourself. You don't sound like you have any connections though, but if you look hard enough you can probably find something on the internet. At least for weed and shrooms I found a trustworthy source from canada, but there should be more drugs if you're willing to look around. I already ordered shrooms one time myself and I'm still not in jail.
There are even legal, but still less known drugs like gbl, which with its strong mood lifting properties might actually be useful to you.
If you think lacking self confidence is a major problem with your social skills you might want to try stimulants. They will boost your confidence making it much easier to say what you think. Heck, even caffeine helps! Just stay away from coke or meth.
And if you don't give a shit about anything, good ol' weed might make for some nice days at least. I love watching anime or playing games on weed. It's like it sucks you totally in. You really feel like you're part of it.
I'd advise dextromethorphan. Good drug, easily available.
Unhealthy, but a life changer.
>>27
No, take me instead. Ill pretend to be your friend and everything.
Money is no issue right, so wheres the problem?
I have the same thing you have. I never want to go outside or do anything for some reason. I'm not fat or mutilated or anything...anyway I will probably an hero as well
>>31
If nothing else, it would give me peace of mind. I am well aware that it's up to me, and I hate that. I can't do anything about what it would do to the people close to me. They just need to understand that they too are selfish for expecting me to live.
>>32
>>33
I'm not interested in drugs, they never do anything good. Besides that they are just a temporary solution to a seemingly permanent problem. And if I am to live, it would be drug free, or it would be pointless.
>>34
People seem to think I'm rich which I am not. I simply have enough money saved to travel to Japan and pay for my self. That and a somewhat steady income from outside sources to buy whatever games and electronics I want. Anyway, the point is I'm not rich. But I'd totally take you guys with me to Japan if I was.
>>35
At least now I know there's someone out there in the same situation.
My family asked me to come with me to the cabin tomorrow. I said no in a automatic way. Then I realized they have asked every year, and I've said no every year. And every year, something on the computer was on my mind, or my sleeping schedule was too messed up to be awake when they leave, or just the fact that I could get very bored away from computers, games and everything I know in my daily life stops me. Of course it's too late now, my sleeping schedule is already messed up.
Why don't you just get up early, then? Even if your schedule is messed up this is a good chance to get out of the house and be around people you are really comfortable around. Tell them you've changed your mind, I'm sure they'd be thrilled, and then ask them to make sure you get up.
Even if you're really tired it'll be a good start to fixing your problem.
>>36 Peace of mind? How can you have peace of mind when you're dead? You won't have anything. And you think it's selfish for people to expect you to live? Dude...killing yourself is about the most selfish thing you can do! You're basically saying, "I don't care about what other people think, or how it will effect them; I'm just doing this for myself. Look, if you have enough money saved up to go to Japan, then do it. If nothing else it will be a breath of fresh air, and a change of scenery, (which it sounds like you desperately need.)
Once again man, just don't give up. You need to give life a chance. You have no idea what it has in store for you. Try it out. If you don't like it after oh...60 or so years, then fine...then kill yourself. Just don't give up. Please.
>>38 60 years is too much, try 5-10 or something. If nothing has changed by then, try Asm.methods newsgroup; there are some cocktails which are kinda easy to make (order ingredients of the internet) or Nembutal if you can snatch if from mexico..that's like sip..wait...and you die peacefully.
Sorry, but suicide is indeed selfish, everything in life is selfish. You can't blame him, for taking his own life..he never asked to be born. His life, he can do whatever he wants..staying for others will ultimately do nothing. I'm taking the bus too if nothing changes in like 2 years (and i'm already searching for the ingredients), and you are wrong about dead. Not being aware of anything is TRUE everlasting peace, that's the whole point.
I'm out, peace
>>1
go outside, get drugs.
drugs are fun for a while.
>>37
Well, that didn't happen.
>>38
You should read >>39.
Besides, I don't ever wanna get old. I don't want to lose to the world like that, I'd rather die young.
>>40
Like I said before; No.
I'm still thinking of things I could try do, but nothing has really come up. My dream is a impossible one, I've always wanted to travel in space, visit other planets, etc. Just being a astronaut on the moon or a space station would not be enough for me. In other words, I long for the future. Nobody knows what happens after death, but one of the possibilities could be being reborn, although not likely, it's still a chance to travel in space one day. Silly of me to think about this, isn't it? But it can't be helped. If you aren't reborn and just cease to exist, that's fine too, although it does annoy me that the universe could be that way. Anyway, I'm getting tired of the way things are, so I will have to do something soon.
Hehe, almost like myself.
I have spent 2 years after highschool at home, just went outside a few times, if it was extremly necessary.
But i have finally come to a conclusion.
I will be consequent and won't lie to myself anymore.
To achieve my dreams, you need extra-ordinary intelligence.
I don't have it.....
Well, i will still try and start to study at an university.
I use all my potential i have.
If it is not enough, it shouldn't be this life.
Then i will die happily.
And this is what i am gonna do.
Success or Death.
This my philosophy now.
My interests (dreams) would be:
and some other.....well, i am dumb to be honest, so chances are really really slim.
But if i kill myself now, i will be unsatisfied because i haven't tried.
Wish me luck (and intelligence^^) for both.
You guys just seem to consign yourself to fate too much, despite most of you claiming to be atheists. Look, it's not a cruel world, but it is one where everyone has to look out for themselves. If you want to change your ways, then no-one else is going to change them for you. You need to get off your ass and change. You need to stop saying 'I am a hikikomori' or 'I'm a /b/tard LOL I'm stuffing up my life', because at the end of the day although it might be funny on the internet for a while, and it might be easy to have self pity, you guys have to realise that you have only one life, and if you want it to go somewhere you need to make it do so.
I recommend starting off with some form of exercise, just going for walks or even to a gym, physical exercise not only has a huge positive effect mentally but also gives plenty of excuses for social interaction. Good luck!
Youre lucky if you ask me. What i wouldnt give to stay at home and be lazy all day!
I have collage and work and on the weekends i always gotta go out cuz i cant turn down my friends and girlfriend.
My dream is to save up enough money, move to Japan, and try out your lifestyle for a change.
Ah, to live as an hikikomori, some day, some day...
You are a good person. I know this, because it's impossible for a person to be bad for the sake of being bad without a benefit. You are a hikikomori because other people do not understand you. Their form of stimulation is not what you prefer. So it goes.
The solution is integrating yourself within the boundaries of rational thought. I know you have some ideas that you would like to share with the world. Let it be known. Put those ideas in a forum for the world to see (and not just those on the Internet). You have creativity, and I want to see you thrive.
>>43 I personally believe freewill to be the biggest illusion ever. Some just can't act "normal" because of how one grew up + personality disorder = fail. Throw in some chance, and heh...one would get really tired after getting rejected for the x time(not just relationship i mean generally life itself).
And your speech about getting up and fight..yes, easier said then done. The thing is , most of us have already done this. After so many disappointments one would need to be rewarded..just only once, that tiny little hope would be enough, but no. All i can say is, 1 000 000 million people worldwide decide that life is not worth sticking around for, there are so many reasons and it all depends on perspective. Others seek what they never can get , others have everything and feel dead inside, others are victims of circumstance,etc etc...
I want to see the world different, but i can't.Too much has happened. The damage is just done.
Whatever
>>42
You sure seem to be motivated. Good luck with that.
I don't think accomplishing something that way is for me though.
>>43
Why did they ever tell us fairy tales of nice people helping each other? I know I have to do things my self, but it's just not that easy, especially not after so many years. I think "Let's go for a walk" (In my mind I sometimes refer to my self in plural), but it becomes "or I could lay down and watch this movie I wanted to see.". It's really really really hard. By the way, I'm not doing this to be funny.
>>44
At times I've thought of my self as lucky, but in the end, it's more like a mental prison than a relaxing life. I'm sure it would be a little more comfortable to be a hikikomori in the capital of hikikomori's, but anywhere else in the world, not so much.
>>45
That's the most intelligent thing anyone has said so far, however it does not exactly help on the situation I am in. Your "solution" is very vague.
>>46
I too find free will to be rather distant, and I believe much of how you grow up is part of what makes your every day choices. I had quite a difficult childhood.
I've been thinking of buying a digital SLR, but I'm not so sure I would use it. If I did, I might bother going outside, climb a mountain and take some pictures. It just doesn't seem likely that I would though...
It sounds like you might be over-intellectualising it a tad. Just get moving and you can think about it on the way. Yes, of course childhood has huge influence over your formation, but surely you can recognise that what you do still comes down to you. I understand that there are all kinds of mental barriers that might stop you, but really, you need to just jump in and take the first step and hope that it all follows.
Give us an update, OP!
I SAW THE DARK KNIGHT TODAY AND IT REALLY MOTIVATED ME TO GO TO SCHOOL, GET A DEGREE, AND EARN ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY AND SET UP LOTS AND LOTS OF EXPLOSIVES
WELL, SO LONG AND SEE YA IN 10 YEARS SUCKERS
After reading this thread and finding myself in a somewhat similar plight to the OP, I'd like to share something that may sound a little silly.
I want to run away to the mountains and become a mountain man.
You heard me.
Not a hillbilly or a redneck. This may change, but right now, I would like to disappear into the deep Appalachian Mts. with a sack full of tools and another sack full of seeds, build myself a cabin and a vegetable plot, and become totally self-sufficient as far from other people as can be had in the 21st century.
I feel this way and fantasize about this a lot. Probably because I keep wondering why we no longer do things like they used to even though it used to work just fine.
Steam locomotive? Gone. Etiquette? Down the drain. Teenagers useless? Pretty much these days. I know that sounds really random and irrelevant. However, I think that if I were out of the reach of popular culture (which I find all too often insipid and destructive) and the messages I feel as if I'm bombarded with (and I know I don't like what they're saying), I could really change myself.
Also, surviving on my own would mean I'd accomplished something pretty serious. To discover that I'm capable of self-sustenance like that would be a major morale booster.
I dunno.
>>48
I'm pretty sure I can't do that.
>>49
Here you go, nothing is happening, everything is as it's always been for the last seven years. I'm starting to wonder if I'm actually aware that I'm alive. Regardless, the feeling of wanting to just end it all is still there. Didn't think anyone cared anymore for this, seeing as I'm impossible.
>>51
Good luck with that, I wouldn't survive without my technology.
Don't know what to do. I heard about this "New Start" program they have in Japan where a "rental sister" will come and try get you out of there and into a program where they will try help you. I don't think it would really ever be able to change me, but a rental sister sure sounds nice. Like a angel that comes to save you. Anyway, impossible since I don't live in Japan.
>>51
In those times that you claim were better people only lived till like 30 years of age. Enjoy your short life as a lonely mountain man with "etiquette."
> Like a angel that comes to save you.
Spoiler: reality is never as sweet as any fantasy based on Welcome to the NHK.
Read your second sentence out loud again. I think you found the key to it all and never even noticed.
If you really have the feeling that you want to change your lifestyle then you should be the one to take the initiative. You asked us here to give you some advice. But still, in the end, you must be the one to take some action. Also remember to take one step at a time. Changing yourself and your lifestyle is not as simple as ABC but rather a hard work and needs lots of patience. And never ever try thinking of suicide >.< There will always be a speck of hope even if think that it is already gone.
Here are some suggestions of what you may possibly do:
First of all, try talking with your family. They are your family and I am sure that they are willing to help you overcome your hiki-state. If not, then they should not be called family.
If that doesn't work, try finding friends online. Due to the internet, we are actually closer to you than you think. Try talking to them through the microphone if your messenger has the function. Who knows, you might just meet someone and a possible solution from the both of you might come up.
You can also attend anime or manga conventions in your city or country if there's one. It is a good place for people with the same interests to meet and talk about things.
You can also try finding your dream job out there. Finding your motivation can really help change a person. A dream job for someone who likes games/anime/manga could be a game tester, a manga editor, or even a mangaka :D... The world is actually a pretty big place. You just need a powerful imagination and you could become a great person.
Hope that helps... Remember that your feelings and determination to change greatly affects your performance.
>>And never ever try thinking of suicide >.<
Protip: If you're truly suicidal, you don't try to think about suicide. The thoughts come unbidden, whether you want them or not.
maybe you should visit a place youve never been to
they say that when its lonely you just need someone to share the experience with you so its not so boring.
>>54
Right...
>>55
I know that.
>>57
I never said I wanted to change my self. Also, my family is the last people on earth I would speak to. They too are rather silent on my mothers part of the family, and my fathers part of the family is just plain weird. Also, I'd never ever talk to someone over the microphone. I mentioned this before, my city is a small one, there's no such thing as conventions here.
>>58
That is correct. I would know.
>>59
Japan would be that place, getting out of my room and actually going there is the hard part. Finding someone to share such a experience with is nearly impossible for me.
I'm pretty sure now, there's no way I'll get out of here. I've been thinking about it, and I'm sure the only thing that could possibly help me is a good real life friend. Unfortunately, that's not something I will find in this small town. Goodbye hope.
do you know what means hikkikomori or depression? not all of us has a strong mind
To make it clear to everyone who might not know, I'm OP and you can identify me by my ID.
>>61
>>62
>>63
In this post I'm going to make it clear what makes a hikikomori. However I can't explain what it's like being one, as no amount of words can explain what it feels like. You just have to experience it to understand it. Thank you to those who try understand though. I'll start with a few obvious (and less obvious) points, excuse me if I forget something.
*Rarely leaves room/house, if at all
*Does not cook, work or go to school
*Low personal hygiene
*Have a way too nice mother
*Does not talk much
*Have been badly bullied in school at some point
*Possibly have some neurological or personality disorder
*Prone to depression and in cases bouts of anger
*Social anxiety (Be it little or severe)
*NO FRIENDS
*Non-social activities in room
*Refusing to do anything expected by them
*Would probably not eat if not given food (Unless there's microwave food)
*Long hair after a long period of being a hikikomori (If you don't get your mom to cut it or something)
This should make it quite clear what a hikikomori is. Most importantly, this is not a phenomena local to Japan. Although the Japanese culture is indeed a easier trigger to it, it's not the only one. (Yes, all those points apply to me.)
Now for a small update, I got on the idea that maybe I should try go to school in Japan, so I started looking around for such programs and came over this site: http://www.wle-japan.com
They accept students from all countries, has no requirements other than high school education and being above 18 years old, and has a all in one package fee, making it easy for you to go. The idea excites me, and I do have the money for it, however I'm still scared of going alone. I've never used a washing machine in my life, etc. Having been a hikikomori for well over seven years now and then going into such a program? How on earth would I survive there? Most importantly, would it be worth it, or is it just better to kill my self? We all know, as much as you want to be Japanese, you can never be one.
>*lots of points
Yeah, that's a recluse. We also have a word for it, y'know? Add social recluse if you want emphasis on the social aspect. Using hikkikomori is like saying ohayo instead of hello all the time and stuff like that: mannerisms. But then again, japan japan, blahblah.
>How on earth would I survive there?
I think you'll make it. Probably struggle a lot, but you'll make it. As long as you get the nerve to do the kickstart, you'll be on your way. If this school thing enthusiasms you, then jump on the occasion.
>is it just better to kill my self?
Think of it this way: if you don't survive, then you have found a quite adventurous and interesting way to suicide.
Hi, Mr. Solitude. Man, never heard of a problem like this before, maybe i just don't get out enough. It sounds like you're not especially depressed, you're not anxious, paranoid, and it looks like you are capable of intelligent thought. You're just really bored. And anything anyone suggests you just push off as being as boring as the boredom you're in now. I only hear of two things you would like to do: go to Japan, or kill yourself to get away from the boredom. Nothing else will do, except sitting around being bored. So maybe you should start playing a game: destination Japan. You should first start by gathering up money, not only money to get you and a friend to Japan but enough to get you back home if you have to run back home because Japan was either too exciting or too boring for you. Find someone else to guild you along in the outside world of Japan. Don't just pick someone random, pick someone who is intelligent, reliable, and can be a guide to you.
And if it doesn't work out for one reason or another you can hitch an airplane ride back to your room and continue your solitary existance. Or perhaps not even give it a chance. I do wonder how you argue that everything outside of your room would be just as boring as being in your room since you never go out of your room anyways.
if money isn't an issue go somewhere else. travel. DO SOMETHING!
suicide? you call what your doing <i>living</i>?
If you're not Japanese, then please use first-language appropriate terms for things.
I guarantee you that if you start with this small task, and master it, you will be on the road to being a socially acceptable individual.
GO FOR IT MAN!
clean up,go to japan, have a good time!
Are you really dont have any single friend ?
>>67 That's like saying "You wank quite a lot for a virgin". Pent-up, man, PENT-UP!
>If you're not Japanese, then please use first-language appropriate terms for things.
Mi a megfelelő szó erre anyanyelvemen, kérdem én. Van-e egyáltalán, mert én nem ismerem a'bizti.
>>73
First-language for these boards (with the exception of the Language board) is ENGLISH.
Now don't be a dick.
Well OP sucks to be you since apparently you made this thread just to get sympathy. What's the point in asking for advice and then having a million and one excuses for not being able to follow it? It's insulting to the people who actually take the time to write you long ass replies. Don't waste our time or yours.
If you don't get over yourself you'll never be able to make a difference in your life. It's like a band-aid. If you think too much about it you'll never pull the damn thing off. Instead of just sitting there wondering about what to do why don't you pick up a hobby? learn guitar, teach yourself to knit, write a book.
you watch anime right OP? i recommend watching tengen toppa gurren lagann if you haven't or rewatching it if you have, and taking to heart the whole 'fuck you nothing is impossible for me' philosophy. i swear it to you, for people like you and me, it's things like this that get us fired up and wanting to do something with our lives. i'm living proof.
if you want to call me a weaboo, that's fine. but it worked for me, and i suggest you try it out >=)
OP are you still around? I am exactly like you...I would like to talk and share stories/help. I'm going insane!
>>77
I am not OP, but I guess I have the same problems as you both. So I would really like to hear your story.
I'm going through your checklist:
[ ]Rarely leaves room/house, if at all
[ ]Does not cook, work or go to school
[ ]Low personal hygiene
[x]Have a way too nice mother
[x]Does not talk much
[x]Have been badly bullied in school at some point
[?]Possibly have some neurological or personality disorder [Never spoken about this with anyone]
[x]Prone to depression and in cases bouts of anger [the latter doesn't apply]
[x]Social anxiety (Be it little or severe)
[x]NO FRIENDS
[?]Non-social activities in room [Not sure what you mean by this and the next part. Sorry, I only speak English as my fourth language]
[?]Refusing to do anything expected by them
[ ]Would probably not eat if not given food (Unless there's microwave food)
[ ]Long hair after a long period of being a hikikomori (If you don't get your mom to cut it or something) [Used to have very long hair, but had to cut it when I was in the army (my country has compulsory military service), and kept it short ever since]
Why am I doing this? Even though I'm nowhere as near to being a hikikomori as you are, I believe I can mostly understand how you feel because I was in an almost similar situation for about a year, and also because even though I'm seemingly better off now, there haven't been any incidents to change my general attitude towards life in general. I live with my parents and get suicidal thoughts daily; I'm studying in a university, doing well in my studies and am getting my M.Sc in the near future, but I haven't made a single friend during my time at the university, let alone had any romantic or sexual experiences.
For me, the main thing that got me out of being an almost-hikikomori was a deep interest in the subject I am studying, but as you can see, it has only made me get out of the house frequently, and not helped any other aspects of being a hikikomori. I also would like to visit a foreign country, but in my case I don't have the money, and the field I am studying is very theoretical and academically-oriented, so there's at most a marginal chance that I'm ever going to get a decently-paying job.
As for your problem of living in a small town, I don't really relate to this... I live in the capital of my country, and I don't recall ever meeting anyone with similar interests and hobbies. Well, it is a small country, and the capital would be considered a very small city if it was located in the United States, but still, living around here certainly isn't stopping other people from having a satisfying life. The whole "life is what you make out of it" attitude that always appears in these discussions applies only to people who have been actively developing their social skills since their early teens I believe. For people like me and you who haven't belonged to any social circles for a long time, it's going to take a complete personality change, and possibly professional training to get to know people to the level where you could consider another person a friend.
[continued in next post]
My point is that if you really want to change, it's going to need a lot more than just getting out of your house and getting a job or something like that. I think that you would have a better chance at it if you moved out of your parents' house and changed everything about yourself. Abandon all of your hobbies (preferably don't even get a computer or a gaming console at your new house), change your tastes in music, movies and dressing style to something fashionable, start going to bars and clubs to get drunk (I'm somehow getting the impression that you don't like to drink alcohol; neither do I, but I'm sure you have also realized that not drinking isn't really socially acceptable, especially at your age. It's better to get used to it sooner than later), start hitting on a lot of girls. Since you're not attending any school and don't have a job, it shouldn't be a problem to devote half a year or so to this. Once you've become a more socially acceptable person, you could get into some sort of school, and by now, you should have absolutely no problems getting friends and start living a fullfilling life. It's a lot of work, but it's what everyone else does; other people just go through it at a more natural pace through their teenage years.
I'll do it too.
I'm going through therapy right now because of my hikikomoriness, it's so bad I dropped out of 5th grade and have been hikikomori for the greater part of my life, I'm 18 now.
[/]Rarely leaves room/house, if at all - I go out to get fast food though
[/]Does not cook, work or go to school
[]Low personal hygiene - I get extremely greasy so I have to shower often
[/]Have a way too nice mother - I could rape and kill a child and she would still love me
[]Does not talk much - I used to be like that, until a couple years ago when I tried my hardest to be more social
[]Have been badly bullied in school at some point - School is one of the biggest reasons for me being the way I am, but I wasn't bullied.
[/]Possibly have some neurological or personality disorder
[/]Prone to depression and in cases bouts of anger - I think about killing myself pretty much every day
[/]Social anxiety (Be it little or severe)
[/]NO FRIENDS - the only real friend I have is this guy in Kentucky, I met him on the internet
[/]Non-social activities in room
[/]Refusing to do anything expected by them
[]Would probably not eat if not given food (Unless there's microwave food) - I have to eat often or else I'll get sick
[]Long hair after a long period of being a hikikomori (If you don't get your mom to cut it or something) - My mother is a hair stylist so she cuts my hair for free
[x]Rarely leaves room/house, if at all
[ ]Does not cook, work or go to school
[ ]Low personal hygiene
[x]Have a way too nice mother
[x]Does not talk much
[]Have been badly bullied in school at some point - I was pretty much homeschooled
[x]Possibly have some neurological or personality disorder
[x]Prone to depression and in cases bouts of anger (just depression)
[x]Social anxiety (Be it little or severe) - extreme
[x]NO FRIENDS
[x]Non-social activities in room (guitar, singing, computers)
[x]Refusing to do anything expected by them - pretty much
[x]Would probably not eat if not given food (Unless there's microwave food) I usually get my dad to go shopping with me every few weeks. Otherwise, I just eat what's left around.
[ ]Long hair after a long period of being a hikikomori (If you don't get your mom to cut it or something) - grew it for 4 or so years, then cut it down since it was starting to get messy.
test
[X]Rarely leaves room/house, if at all
[X]Does not cook, work or go to school
[ｭ]Low personal hygiene
[X]Have a way too nice mother
[X]Does not talk much
[ｭ]Have been badly bullied in school at some point - Well no, I usually had a low profile, and if someone did try to bully me, I'd RRAAAGGGEEE their asses.
[o]Possibly have some neurological or personality disorder - I don't know about this one, but it has crossed my mind. hurr
[X]Prone to depression and in cases bouts of anger - RAAGGGEEE
[X]Social anxiety (Be it little or severe) - Got it pretty bad.
[X]NO FRIENDS - Except for 2 I barely see, no friends.
[X]Non-social activities in room - Masturbatan, Internetan, Gaeman
[X]Refusing to do anything expected by them - This shit has sunken so low, they don't even expect me to wipe me own ass. (Don't worry , I still do.)
[X]Would probably not eat if not given food
[X]Long hair after a long period of being a hikikomori ( UP TO MY FUCKING ASS)
OP here. Sorry for not answering, I gave up on getting help. Ever since I've been just buying large quantities of games and playing them, forgetting everything around me. I don't think continuing to post here will do any good, but I'll respond anyway. I'll start with the main reason I'm responding.
>>77
>>78
I'd like to talk to you guys too. So if you're still around, post a messenger I can contact you by.
>>66
You seem to be intelligent enough, how about you drag me to Japan then?
>>67
In text, no problem. In real life, one word replies.
>>70
I'd like to do that. I'm just too far down to do it alone anymore.
>>75
I don't need sympathy, besides how am I supposed to feel anything about what's said here?
>>76
I'll watch it. I know anime fires me up quite a lot, but the effect only lasts for a day for me. Not enough to get me anywhere.
>>79
>>80
I don't believe me capable of so much change, neither am I willing to give up computers, games or anime for it. I don't see a point in living such a fake life. Aside from that I'm not all that interested in being a socially acceptable person. The larger part of the world is stupid. I don't think they have the right to set the standards of what's socially acceptable. I don't want to change. I just want something I like to do.
>>81
>>82
>>84
This is pointless. It's not a survey.
I think throughout this thread I've made my standing on things quite clear. So unless someone has some idea other than what's already been suggested, or want to drag me to Japan, then I suggest we let this thread sink. There doesn't appear to be a solution for me or people exactly like me if any, other than either dying or living a zombie life. Thanks to all those who really did try help me, I'm sorry it didn't work.
If anyone would like to talk to me personally, my proxy AIM screen name is StealthDesu. If you are >>77 or >>78 I will provide other messenger names trough that, or if I like you.
The freezing cold, six-mat, single room—
Oh, this apartment:
Even though I want to leave, my escape is still distant.
I lie on the bed, even while awake, and sleep sixteen hours a day.
Near the shadows of the kotatsu,
A cockroach is hiding.
When I eat, I have one meal a day,
And I lose weight every day.
Sometimes, I head to the convenience store,
The gazes of others frighten me, though.
A cold sweat even springs forth,
Telling me how hard it is to escape my apartment.
N.H.K., which seems like a fantasy—
There is emptiness in searching and not finding it.
Today, when the sun sets, I go weakly forth
To lie down in my damp bed.
My tired and heavy brain—
Oh, I can't go on. I can't go on!